Hi Jennifer,
My heart breaks for you, but you are having very normal reactions.
But I must tell you no new Mom can do it all. You are recouping from having
the baby and taking on a new role of mother along with whatever you normally
did. That's a lot. I am glad you got someone to come in help. If you are
playing with and nursing her you are gettings lots of Mom time. I suspect
lots of new Mom's go thru this when there mothers or other caretakers who
have more experience handling babies help out. Jennifer, I will tell you now
- you are going to be that child's mother for the rest of both of your lives
- she will know who her mother is, and she will love you. My very precious
Amber - was in the hospital for awhile with nurses caring for her, I had a
short stint home with her and then she went off to grandma's for daycare.
There certainly was a point where grandma seemed to rate over Mom. My mother
gloated and I rolled my eyes - out of her view of course. Today,Amber ( and
its been this way for years) and I are very close and good friends. And one
thing, parenting is never like you think its going to be. Kinda like
marraige - you have to leave wiggle room for the other person, leave
expectations behind. Get some rest, snuggle with your sweet baby, and relax
- the baby can feel your stress, and will react to it. She is going to love
you - and she already knows you are Mom. Let the rest happen in its own
time. Yes, I missed most of Amber's firsts - she talked for my Mom - walked
for a therapist, etc. On the other hand - I will get to help with moppiong
up tears from a broken heart, pick out prom dresses, help pick out the
bridal stuff, and be the grandma when she has a baby. Of course I had a few
I could have missed - like when she pooped on me while we where in the tub
or when she walked up and threw-up all over me. I wailed and cried as hard
as she the time she threw up on me and her father laughed himself silly and
cleaned up both of us. Of course that is now one of the funny stories I
tell.
Hugs - Trisha
> bear w/ me..i need to vent a bit... i hope y'all dont mind:)
> I'm an disabled mom to a beautiful 3mo old daughter and before I gave
> birth,
> i had this expectation of what it was going to be like to be an SAH
> Disabled
> parent.. All my life, I have adapted to whatever came my way, and nothing
> made me feel like parenthood would be any different - until now..
> For the first 10weeks of my daughters life, i tried to do everything for
> her/
> my household by myself... it was very tiring and it was taking a toll on
> me
> physically and emotionally.. So i got someone to come in and just help me
> out
> a little bit so i didn't feel so overwhelmed, which was great... but
> here's
> my problem... my baby likes her more than she likes me... i mean, i've
> told
> this lady to let me be in charge, and not to hold my child, but its hard
> for
> her not to..
> my daughter cries for her, i mean it's breaking my heart and i am crying
> even
> as i type this... i feel so inadequate because i cant stand up and throw
> her
> over her shoulder and jiggle her as she likes, this lady is more graceful
> w/
> handling her.. This lady has even received my daughters first precious
> giggle.. I feel like the only time I ever get to be close to her is when
> we
> are playing or when we are nursing... I want to hold my daughter so badly
> and
> i want her to be content with me... Can anyone give me suggestions?? If
> not,
> it's ok, because i'm glad i got to get this off my chest
|
