good list kyle

-----Original Message-----
From: Kyle E. Cleveland [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Friday, February 18, 2000 1:42 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Southrons - was RE: huntsville, nasa, and eunices


Since we're (sort of) on the subject, and I need to hit my 15 limit for the
day (I fish too much), I thought you might enjoy this (apologies to Deri,
Carla, et. al. for this seemingly meaningless nonsense):

The Top 39 things you would NEVER hear a  Southron say:

39. I'll take Shakespeare for $1,000, Alex
38. Duct  tape won't fix that
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael
36. Come to  think of it, I'll have a Heineken
35. We don't keep firearms in this  house
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that  to the dog
32. I thought Graceland was tacky
31. No kids in the back of  the pick-up, it's not safe
30. Wrasslin's fake
29. Honey, did you mail  that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians
27. Do you think my  hair is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and  gravy
25. Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
24. Who's Richard  Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds
22. Deer heads detract from  the decor
21. Spitting is such a nasty habit
20. I just couldn't find a  thing at Wal-Mart today
19. Trim the fat off the steak
18. Cappuccino  tastes better than espresso
17. The tires on that truck are too big
16.  I'll have the arugula and ridicchio salad
15. I've got it all on a floppy  disk
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better
13. Would you like your fish  poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Paula Jo, is registered at  Tiffany's
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl
10. Little  Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams
9. Checkmate
8. She's too old  to be wearing a bikini
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Hey,  here's an episode of Hee Haw that we haven't seen
5. I don't have a favorite  college team
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side
3. I  believe you cooked those green beans too long
2. Those shorts ought to be a  little longer
And the #1 thing you would NEVER hear a Southron say  is,
1.  Elvis who?