good list kyle -----Original Message----- From: Kyle E. Cleveland [mailto:[log in to unmask]] Sent: Friday, February 18, 2000 1:42 PM To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Southrons - was RE: huntsville, nasa, and eunices Since we're (sort of) on the subject, and I need to hit my 15 limit for the day (I fish too much), I thought you might enjoy this (apologies to Deri, Carla, et. al. for this seemingly meaningless nonsense): The Top 39 things you would NEVER hear a Southron say: 39. I'll take Shakespeare for $1,000, Alex 38. Duct tape won't fix that 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken 35. We don't keep firearms in this house 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? 33. You can't feed that to the dog 32. I thought Graceland was tacky 31. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe 30. Wrasslin's fake 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? 28. We're vegetarians 27. Do you think my hair is too big? 26. I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy 25. Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering? 24. Who's Richard Petty? 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds 22. Deer heads detract from the decor 21. Spitting is such a nasty habit 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today 19. Trim the fat off the steak 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso 17. The tires on that truck are too big 16. I'll have the arugula and ridicchio salad 15. I've got it all on a floppy disk 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better 13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled? 12. My fiance, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams 9. Checkmate 8. She's too old to be wearing a bikini 7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? 6. Hey, here's an episode of Hee Haw that we haven't seen 5. I don't have a favorite college team 4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side 3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer And the #1 thing you would NEVER hear a Southron say is, 1. Elvis who?