I hesitate to post this as I don't wish to offend or alienate anyone, but...

I also followed the Latimer case here in the press. Even when I was lost in the "AB pit of ignorance" (smile) B.C. (Before my Children). I would have to disagree with you, Betty. Because our murder rate is so low in this country compared to yours pretty well all crimes of this nature get national news coverage. From the beginning the media presented both sides of the controversy : "murder" or "mercy killing". Disabled Rights Activists here have been very focal in the main stream press. As have Latimer family supporters. The lack of resources has certainly been an issue in my local papers. I live in the Capital. In a country that prides itself in our social services network (albeit flawed) the lack of services has been a big part of the debate. Every Canadian has the expectation (good or bad, right or wrong) that if we need help, our government programmes will be there. I remember when the Latimer story broke, much discussion centred on "How could this happen?" Not just Tracey's death but also "How did this family get to this point?" "Where were the supports that are supposed to be there?" I followed a news group for a while that debated the issues surrounding this case. By and large the people who condemned Mr. Latimer had the naive notion that if he had just asked for help it would have been provided. Not true in rural Alberta. And resources still would not have relieved Tracey's pain and suffering. If that was the true reason for Tracey's death (and only Robert Latimer knows for sure) then all the money, support, resources, etc. in the world would not have made any difference!

This issue touches me on several levels. As you all know our son Anthony has CP. He has moderate spastic quad CP with a mild speech delay  and is otherwise a healthy, typical 3 year old. :-)

I don't often speak of our son Joseph, Anthony and Robert's triplet brother, who died when he was 20 months old. Joseph suffered severe brain damage, probably related to a poorly formed placenta and restricted cord flow in utero. The extent of the damage was not apparent until he was almost 2 months old. Along with multiple medical issues he had severe spastic CP, cortical blindness, severe cognitive impairment, seizures (up to 35 in a row, several times a day, never well-controlled with meds). 

He was a sweet, special  little boy  who recognized his Mommy and Daddy and who learned to smile and had a wonderful husky little giggle. I feel privilege to have known him and to have been his Mom. There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss him and wish I could cuddle him one more time. 

But Joey's life was not pleasant as much as we tried to make him as happy and comfortable as possible. The spasticity in his legs was causing his hips to be pulled out of their sockets. Daily stretching was torture for him. Often we would have to pry his legs apart to put a diaper on him. He was facing several painful orthopedic surgeries to try to correct this problem with guarded long term prognosis. 

His seizures frightened him and made him cry. The seizure meds caused him to be lethargic. 

He had gastric reflux which caused him pain. The meds for that caused cramping. 

His lungs were badly scarred from being ventilated and on oxygen for so long. He hated wearing the nasal prongs and his little nose got so irritated at times. He was on supplemental oxygen at home and often needed suctioning to breathe. 

He couldn't co-ordinate to breathe-suck-swallow so even the pleasure of eating was denied him. When he had a feeding tube put in at 14 months of age we had to fight to have him medicated for pain post-op (the anaesthesiologist didn't want his respirations to be suppressed by the pain meds, but was okay with an infant being in agony). I cannot begin to describe the feeling when he looked at me as if to say "Mommy why don't you make this better?" and I could do nothing. His g-tube site was often irritated to the point of bleeding despite all our efforts to keep it scrupulously clean and dry.

On top of everything else, Joey's immune system was very poor. As much as we tried to protect him he was continuously coming down with respiratory viruses and needed to be hospitalized for weeks at a time.  He eventually developed a croup-like virus that his body just couldn't fight anymore. At that point we stopped all the suctioning and invasive procedures and had to let him go. My heart broke that night and I will never again feel total joy and peace because one of my babies is no longer with me.

Earlier, when we knew the extent of Joey's brain damage, we made the decision no parent should ever have to make and opted for a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order so that if he were to go into respiratory arrest for whatever reason, no heroic measures would be taken to prolong his life. My husband and I both felt that it would be an act of love for us to let Joey go if and when his time came. And our grief over his death has been tempered by relief that he no longer suffers in this world. 

I don't know if I could ever have made the decision Robert Latimer made. I thank God I never had to. But as a parent who watched her child suffer pain and indignity on a daily basis with the knowledge that it could only get worse and not better, I can understand that kind of compassion and mercy. 

Not all people with disabilities can enjoy the quality of life that most of you enjoy - and I say that with full awareness of the physical and emotional pain many of you experience. My Joey would never have been able to join your world. There are many out there too disabled for people beyond their own families to know or care about. That is the sad reality. Disability rights are wonderful and essential but right to quality of life comes first in my opinion. As the Mom of two children with special needs from two very different points on the continuum, I have a bit different perspective perhaps. I would never consider a DNR order for Anthony - he has a great life ahead of him - I know this in my heart. 

I am just sharing my opinion here and a different perspective. My point is to share my feelings and foster some discussion, not to offend anyone.

Yvonne

>>> [log in to unmask] 10/31/00 12:05AM >>>
Hey Vince,

Good to hear from you again, and thank you for your empathetic condolences.

What you shared is also my understanding about the events surrounding Tracy's
death.  I know I haven't followed this story as long as you have though.  I
have only been disabled for four years or so now (give or take a few months
or years depending on when the progression actually started).  Prior to that
I was lost in an Able Bodied pit of ignorance (no offense intended to
informed and aware ABs, only to my former self).

My concern is not so much about Robert Latimer.  I do have a special place in
my heart for Tracy, but there will always be these isolated incidences. I'm
more concerned that a public depiction of Mr. Latimer as a merciful man will
fuel the misguided notion many people have that we are suffering, and that
some of us are better off "out of our misery."  If this is the way he is
being depicted, I think it's a good idea for the museum to hear from as many
of us as possible.

As far as I know (and you would know better), the Canadian media has never
stressed the lack of resources available to the Latimer family.  It always
seems to fall back on "poor Robert and his untold suffering."  I don't doubt
that he was stressed and driven to the edge.  In fact, I really don't judge
him at all.  He admitted that he committed this crime and it was up to the
Canadian judicial system to judge him.  I just don't see that this story has
ever had consciousness raising media coverage.

If this had happened in the US, I have no doubt that the story would be the
same.  As it is, I suspect that only a handful of US folks has even heard of
Tracy Latimer, and I'm sure they can be found in the disability community.

I'm rambling.  I think of this particular child often.

Betty










In a message dated 10/30/2000 10:10:29 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

> Betty,
>
>  It's Vince, a list lurker from Canada. First, I'd like to express my
>  smypathies regarding AstroBird.  In my years, a number of cherished pets
>  have passed.  In my own way I feel for you.  What makes these difficult
>  times easier is that the ones we love (Animals or People) live in our
>  memories of them.  Even decades later, the memories warm my heart and bring
>  a genuine smile.
>
>  Now, about Mr. Latimer.  As a Canadian with CP, I have followed this story
>  with much interest and concern.  To make a very long story very short, Mr.
>  Latimer was a farmer living in a rural community in Alberta.  His daughter,
>  Tracy, was born with a very severe form of CP 14 years before.  The news
had
>  said that Tracy, was totally dependant on family her parents for her care.
>  Tracy, it was said was in constant pain as her muscle spasms where so
severe
>  that they would cause her joints to be pulled from their sockets.
>
>  Because the Latimers didn't live in a major center, there were no support
>  services for the family to access for Tracy, and Mrs. Latimer was (I think)
>  7 or 8 months pregnant at the time of Tracy's death.
>
>  Mr. Latimer freely admits that he put Tracy in his pick up track and ran a
>  hose from the tail pipe to the cab, killing Tracy.  The debate seems to be
>  from two camps.  Those who see it as a mercy killing, by a man overwhelmed
>  by his situation in life, and those who see him as a heartless murderer.
>
>  If any other list members have any corrections or clarifications to what
>  I've written here, please make them.  This is the info as I recall it. No
>  tomato throwing, please.
>
>  Peace,
>
>  Vince
>


Betty
aut viam inveniam aut faciam
"I will either find a way or make one."