Amen Kathy to everything you said.

Peace is so very important. I'm praying for all of you.

Love and Blessings,
Pat Ferguson

At 06:58 AM 12/19/2005, you wrote:
>Phil,
>          Boy, this post makes me feel like we are just echoing your
>household.  I'm with you on the illegal thing too.  Chris isn't off
>probation yet so, he could end up in jail as well for thirty
>days.  Of course, I'm, praying that it doesn't come to that.  What
>parent wants to see that happen?  No good parent that I know of.
>          Last night, at church, we had a guest come in to do a
>concert so Greg was able to sit with me and the other three kids, as
>a family.  this is a rare treat in the life of a pastor's
>family.  Then, after church, we came home and read scripture and sang
>around our advent wreath.  We were enjoying being a family.  Nobody
>was swearing at us and telling us how stupid we are or what losers we
>are or anything.  While I was enjoying the moment, and it really was
>wonderful, I couldn't help but think in the back of my mind how,
>instead of peaceful, if Chris was here, this time would have the
>potential to be come a very stress filled, rather then joy filled
>one.  I am committed to keeping the peace going in my house.  If that
>means keeping Chris at a distance, so be it.  That is his choice, not
>mine.  I'm just responding, I believe appropriately, to the decisions
>that he has made.
>          I know what you mean about talking tough too.  If someone
>else wants to walk in my shoes and carry the knot in the pit of my
>stomach, when I think of him, they are welcome to it.  I just keep
>remembering that my goal is peace.  I also keep remembering what you
>said about Chris not having the right to set the agenda in my
>home.  Thoughts like that help keep me going.
>Kathy
>
>
>At 04:53 PM 12/18/2005, you wrote:
> >Kathy,
> >
> >I talk tough but after this morning, I believe the ultimate decision will
> >have to be made, that is, telling her to move out.  I don't want to do that
> >but I have a minimum of three other people involved that are aware of
> >everything from about day one with Gretchen.
> >
> >Based upon what you and Greg are discussing, and Sandy and I have had those
> >talks dozens of times, I would do two things.  First, I have one thing I
> >won't tolerate from Gretchen and I reminded her of this last week when we
> >talked.  If I find out she is breaking the law, I will call the police
> >myself.  This would be hard to do because Gretchen has no more chances by
> >the court system.  She will go to prison, not jail, but prison.
> >
> >Secondly, today my daughter complained how she "hates" every Thanksgiving
> >and Christmas.  This implies, of course, we ruin every Thanksgiving and
> >Christmas she has.  Thank you very much.  I told Sandy, Gretchen is no
> >longer welcome in our home for Thanksgiving and Christmas starting right
> >now.  In the case of Chris not liking his gifts?  I'd take them back from
> >him and give them to someone who appreciates them.  If I couldn't do it
> >myself, I'd have somebody help me.
> >
> >Additionally, Sandy and I converse with many other Christians about these
> >situations just to make sure we aren't crazy.  By the way, we aren't crazy.
> >Yes, we have made mistakes.  So what else is new but, as I always tell
> >Gretchen, I've never been arrested, I've never been to jail, I don't have an
> >addiction problem, and I don't have a criminal record either.  She has all
> >of those things.  It makes little difference because she simply cannot, at
> >these times, be reasoned with.  Unfortunately, there are two little boys
> >involved so it makes such decisions many times more difficult.
> >
> >Phil.