Asking for, and accepting, help IS one of the hardest things to do for
someone who prides themselves on independence.  Even more difficult is
dealing with family and friends who are used to your doing things, and even
dependent upon your "helping out".  Not only are you embarrassed by needing
assistance, you try the patience of those who need YOUR assistance.  If
you're family and friends are wishing to serve you in this way, let 'em do
it!

Kyle





-----Original Message-----
From: ken barber [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Monday, September 15, 2003 10:09 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Getting used to needing more help


go ahead and elevate your help time. you might have to
elevate it again later. i needed no help for sometime,
now, my wife and son does some stuff for me.

--- Jeremy Persen <[log in to unmask]>
wrote:
> Hi,
>
> I am Jeremy, a 29 year old New Zealander with CP.  I
> have been a lurker on this list for a long
> time, and a very occasional poster.  The list has
> been a fantastic place to see how different
> people live with CP, and to realise that my
> experiences with it are not unique.
>
> I studied computing after leaving school, and since
> graduating have worked at a couple of software
> development companies.  Work has enabled me to save
> up and build a house which I have lived in for
> nearly two years now.  Leaving my parents was
> probably one of the scariest things I did, but it is
> also one of the best things I did.  I am independent
> as far as personal care goes, and get 1.5
> hours a day help to do the cooking, cleaning,
> shopping, etc.
>
> Like a lot of people on the list I have noticed a
> gradual deterioration in my abilities as I get
> older.  It is just little things, less energy, less
> coordination, things take longer, aching joints
> and more spasms.  So far, I have been able to adapt
> and cover for these things, and I am fortunate
> to have a very accommodating employer who lets me
> work at home a lot.
>
> However, taking 3-4 hours and a truck load of energy
> just to get ready for work in the morning is
> starting to become a problem (-:  I have showered
> and dressed myself since I was 11 or 12, and I am
> having trouble coming to terms with the fact that I
> really need help with this now.  Being stubborn
> and pig-headed doesn't help when it comes to
> accepting more help either!
>
> I realise that it is going to happen one day, and
> life will probably be a lot easier once I do get
> some help in the morning.  I won't be so damn tired
> and might have the energy for a social life
> again for a start!  The sensible bits (not to
> mention family and friends) say I should have asked
> for more help a long time ago, other bits say wait
> until I break something getting in the shower.
>
> How have other people dealt with needing personal
> care?
>
> I know it is going to happen soon.  I just thought
> that talking to some other people about it would
> help me along the way,
> Thanks for listening,
>
> Jeremy
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------
> Jeremy Persen, Nelson, New Zealand
> Email: [log in to unmask]


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