Brad,
The only point at which I disagree is the first one.  I have a hard
time turning my back on illegal activity, knowingly.  We are going to
be talking to a police officer this week about just what our
responsibility is, if he is driving illegally.  I mean, come on, are
you saying that, if someone was driving drunk you would do nothing
because they may not be your responsibility?  Illegal is illegal,
whether it is driving without a license and insurance or driving
otherwise impaired.    I would have a real hard time not doing
something about that one.  I think that that is one of our big
problems with Chris.  He wants us to ignore his shannanigans and let
him get away with stuff.  Well, on the streets of Bangor, I can do
nothing because I don't know, but in my driveway, that's a different
matter entirely

Also, to the second point, he cannot move back home.  He hasn't
earned that.  I don't see chris as being repentant.  While Chris is
not our responsibility any more, the peace and security of my house,
and my two younger children are my responsibility, so rather than do
nothing, we will probably make some sympathetic noises and wish him
well on working out his problems.

Finally, if he wants to leave after receiving his presents, we'll
pack him up, drop him off and get on with enjoying the rest of our
day.  That is doing something I guess, isn't it.
Kathy


At 04:05 PM 12/18/2005, you wrote:
>Kathy,
>
>I've got some answers for you if you care to consider them... You asked...
>
> >Question #1: what should we do if Chris shows up in a borrowed car next
> >weekend when we know that, in order to drive, he was doing it illegally
> >since he doesn't have insurance and he hasn't replaced his license.
>
>
>Answer: Nothing. He's not your responsibility. Offering a solution will
>only crank the aggravation machine.
>
>Question #2: what do we do if, next Sunday, after dinner, he tells us he
>has no place to go because he hasn't paid the rent?
>
>Answer: Nothing. He's not your responsibility. Offering a solution will
>only crank the aggravation machine.
>
> >Question #3:   I'm wondering how I will deal with my anger if  he wants to
> >leave as soon as he gets his presents, or if he is ungrateful because we
> >didn't get him what he wanted, or didn't spend enough on him.
>
>Answer: Nothing. He's not your responsibility. Offering a solution will
>only crank the aggravation machine.
>
>There seems to be a pattern here *smile*.
>
>Brad