Hi Phil and Everyone,

I want to thankyou all for the love and prayers and encouragement. It means 
everything to me.

Phil, I loved your advice, and I may call you some time. I'm doing very 
good right now, no anxiety and no depression. I had a very good sleep last 
night.

I was kind of scared to take this new medicine last night, but The Lord 
gave me peace about it.

Yes, Phil, you are right, Vernon does love me and he is so very sweet to 
me. We will be celebrating our 29th Anniversary on Sunday, January 22nd.

Thanks much to all of you for praying.

Love and Blessings,
Pat Ferguson

At 12:51 AM 1/18/2006, you wrote:
>Pat,
>
>You said,
>
>I've been experiencing anxiety and depression for a while now, and I tried
>to ignore it, but it seems to be getting worse. I can't handle loosing Mom.
>
>You are 100 percent correct.  You cannot handle losing your mom.  Jesus does
>not expect you to handle it.  This is why the anxiety and depression seems
>to be getting worse.  You are attempting to take on a responsibility that no
>one on earth can and that's embracing the loss of a loved one.  No human on
>earth is made to face that much.
>
>First, Jesus has already done this for you.  Secondly, He will carry the
>load with you.  When the time comes, it will be painful.  That is normal.
>Don't try and be tough and brave.  Just be yourself.  Cry until you can't
>cry and when you are done, Jesus will still be helping you carry the load.
>Thirdly, Your mother's life, or death, is not your responsibility.  that
>belongs only to the Lord.  You cannot carry that responsibility because it
>is impossible.  There is nothing wrong, or abnormal, about being sad,
>sorrowful, and feeling the pain of grief.  Love does that to all of us.
>What is going on in your mother's life right now isn't your fault either.
>Don't let the Enemy lie to you about that.  My mom was 80 when she died
>three years ago.  Even after her death, the Enemy will sometimes try and get
>me to think I could have done something more for her.  Jesus told me one
>day, that was none of my business, that is, her life and how she died.
>Death and life are the two most personal things between a person and the
>Creator of all things.  don't allow yourself to be trapped by you could have
>done more.  Grief is normal and the fear of loss of a loved one is normal.
>When you need help, you know how to reach me.  If I can't talk or pray at
>the time you call, I'll make a time we can get together on the phone.  You
>are not alone; not by a long shot.  Let others help you.  That is what we
>are hear for.  Finally, lean on Vernon all you have to.  Why?  Because, he
>loves you and God gave him to you.  Vernon will never let you down.  He is a
>tough man and this is the time that character really helps so don't isolate
>yourself because you think you are being a burden.
>
>Phil.