sent: Saturday, July 15, 2006 9:07 PM
Subject: My Testimony
I am often asked by those who read my Christian novel, Coil of the Snake, Do
those things really happen today?  I mean, do such things occur in real life
or did you make it all up?  Here is a personal testimony a lady wants me to
put on my website.  she is currently a reader of my Christian online novel.
You decide.

Phil.



>
> Rescued
> My Testimony
>
>
> The form of  "Christianity" I was taught when younger really was not truly
> what the Bible  teaches.  I was raised as a Catholic  although I hardly
ever
> went to church.  We were taught that the way a  person is saved was by
taking
> communion.  Jesus to me was some distant figure in the stained glass
window who
> held a  lamb over his shoulder.  I never really knew who he was and what
it was
> all about.  All I knew is that he was represented as a person nailed to a
> crucifix.
>
>
> I never knew God.  All I knew were some meaningless church rituals.  My
> mother never  knew God either.  She was later drawn to  occultism in a
search for
> something in the spirit world that was personal.  God seemed like a
million
> miles  away to her.  She began by getting into using an Ouija board to
contact
> the  spirit world.  The board swore  constantly.  It's predictions came
true
> quite often however.  But my  mother was afraid because it predicted bad
things.
> It said that I would grow up to be a hellion.  My mother and my aunt  used
to
> sit there blindfolded using the  board and had a third person jot down
> everything that was spelled out.  It  went so fast the person barely had
time to
> jot it all down.  One day my mother and aunt decided to ask it what  it
was and
> it told them it was a female  whore.  They finally decided to break the
board
> up and get rid of it.  They knew this thing must have been  evil.
>
>
> Then some years later  my mother got involved in drawing up horoscopes to
> predict people's future and  reading Tarot cards for them.  She also read
several
> books by mediums such  as Edgar Cayce and Seth.  My mother and uncle went
to
> psychic fairs where they had their palms read.  They dabbled in just about
> every magic art that was popular at the time.
>
>
> My mother read Tarot  cards for a friend of hers one time and the
prediction
> was that this person's  next-door neighbor would die within a week.  My
mother
> laughed and thought  that it was ludicrous and wouldn't happen.  Well,
that
> person's  neighbor was mugged and thrown over a bridge in town and died by
the
> end of the  week.  My mother then thought it was just some kind of
> coincidence.
>
>
> Then she read cards  again for another friend.  This time she predicted
death
> and the number  two.  She laughed again thinking it was  silly.  She
returned
> to that friend's house two months later however and  was approached by her
> friend's  daughter screaming at her that she was a witch.  The girl said
to my
> mother  crying, "Go away you witch!!!  My  best friend died on her 22nd
> birthday which was Feb. 2nd!!!  I hate you,  leave you witch!!"  My mother
then
> finally  realized that it wasn't a game and quit reading cards.
>
>
> When I was younger,  about 12, during the time she was still involved with
> such things one day I went  over to look at the cards on the counter.  I
touched
> them and looked at each  one.  One had a Satan symbol on it, another a
> pentagram,  another was a wealth card, another was a death card.  I put
them down
> and  went and sat on our couch.
>
>
> Suddenly something  came and paralyzed me.  I just could not move a
muscle.
> I tried to  move my arm or leg and it wouldn't  budge.  I tried to open my
> eyes, I tried to scream.  No matter how  hard I tried I just could not
move.  And
> each  time I tried to move I had a really horrible pain in the back of my
> head.  I couldn't even move my finger!  It  was horrible.  It was like my
body
> was asleep but I was wide awake in it  and trapped!  There was nothing I
could
> do  but be stuck there.  Then suddenly I could see the whole room although
my
> eyes we shut.  Then instantly the  whole room turned silver and all of a
> sudden all I heard was hideous laughter  coming from every corner of the
room.  I
> didn't see any figures.  I just  heard the laughter.  It was hideous,
horrible
> laughter and I was in the  middle of all of it.  And one laugh was louder
than
> the rest.  Then  suddenly it stopped and I was able to move  again.
>
>
> I didn't know why  this event had happened to me.  I was unable to really
> process the whole  thing.  There was no one to talk to about  it and if I
told
> anyone they would just think I was crazy.  So what I did  was try and put
the
> whole thing out of my  mind.  I watched tv and tried not to think about
it.
>
>
> This caused me to be  an insomniac as a child.  I would fear that this
would
> happen to me again.  And other things did happen to me.  Although the
events
> were few and far  between they were so awful that I dreaded the next time
it
> would  happen.  Things calmed down after my mother got scared out of Tarot
card
> reading.
>
>
> Then soon someone  came along in my life who introduced me to something I
> hadn't really known  before.  I was only 15 but for the  first time in my
life
> had a male person love me.  My father had left my  mother when I was just
four
> years old.  So I had never known a father.  It was a big gap in my life.
This
> boy's name was Peter.  He was the same age.  We met in highschool English
> class while studying Romeo and Juliet.  And boy I tell ya, for 15 year
olds we
> were  pretty "intense".  I loved him more than anything I had ever  known.
>
>
> Then after being  together for only 9 months he suddenly broke up with me
one
> day.  I was  devastated.  I was hoping he was just  confused and we would
get
> back together.  But he totally ignored me.  If I even said hi to him in
the
> hallway,  although I knew he heard me, he wouldn't even look my way.  I
was
> crushed.  It as if some truck came and ran me  over.  I did not know how I
could
> go on.
>
>
> The whole summer  break from school went by and I didn't bother him.  But
I
> still held out  hope.  Then when school started in  September I was hoping
he
> would have a change of heart.  I picked up the  phone and called him in
the
> evening.  It took all my courage to do it.  And he answered.  I talked but
he
> acted like he didn't want to talk to me.  He gave short answers like,
"yeah" and
> acted bored.  I suddenly  cried, "You don't really want to talk to me!"
> And slammed the phone down.  Then I ran out the door determined to run in
front
> of a huge mac truck on the highway  near where we lived.  We lived off of
a
> major highway that had huge trucks  going by at the maximum speed limit.
>
>
> It was a really rainy  stormy night all of a sudden.  It was pouring rain.
> It was so bad  that on the road the traffic was barely moving.  I would
step
> out in front of a car and they would stop immediately because  they would
see me
> in their headlights.  I finally gave up and walked over to my old  nearby
> elementary school and sat on the swings.
>
>
> As I sat there I  thought about how unfair my life had been.  How I had
been
> jipped out of  having a father.  How I had a minor  disability (dyslexia),
how
> I was poor, how I was being raised by a mother who  was cruel to me.  And
how
> I had been  molested by some stranger at the age of four.  I was most of
all
> angry at  God because I had lost this boyfriend I  had dearly loved.  I
told
> God that he must have known what my life would  turn out like and asked
him why
> he  didn't want me to be loved.  I accused Him of not loving me.  I truly
> felt at that moment that no one loved me.  I was brokenhearted, devastated
and
> empty.  There was nothing to live  for.
>
>
> I then went back to  the road hoping some stranger would just attack me
and
> my life could be done  away with.  I didn't care what  happened to me.
Then my
> mother's car drove up beside me with my neighbor  in it.  They told me to
get
> in the car  but I just ignored them.  Then finally when they saw that I
was
> not  responding and just kept on walking my  neighbor got out of the car
and
> physically forced me into the car.  I  fought her but I was no match for
her as
> she  was huge.
>
>
> I sat there between  my mother and neighbor looking blankly ahead.  I
didn't
> talk to anyone.  My mother put her arm around me and  told me she loved
me.  I
> just threw her arm off and said nothing.  Then when we were home I was
> questioned  by the both of them.  But all I did was sit there looking
hollow and not
>  responding at all.  My neighbor was so  frustrated that she finally gave
up
> and left.  I finally went to bed around  11pm.
>
>
> As I laid in bed  everything was quiet, then I suddenly overheard my
mother
> weeping to herself.  She must have been crying over me I  figured.  I
quietly
> laughed to myself glad that I had hurt her because she  had been so
miserable
> to me all my life.  Then when she was finally done I  started to talk to
God in
> my head again.
>
>
> This time I told God  how much I hated myself.  I told him I hated being
me.
> That I wanted  to be anyone else but me, that I  hated my own company.  I
> loathed myself so much that I told God that I  wanted to go to hell.  I
told God
> to send me to  hell.  Then I told him that I was angry with him for what
he
> allowed to  happen to me in my life.  I told  him I had a lousy life and
it was
> all his fault.  And that if he loved me  he would have made sure I didn't
wind
> up in a life  like this.  I told him I hated him and called him every
swear
> word I could  think of.  Then I told him that I would  just live the rest
of my
> life to hurt him back and I would do that by hurting  everyone around me.
>
> Then after I  did all of that amazingly I felt really relaxed.  Like some
big
>  weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  It was as if something got  up
and
> left!  It was like the struggle to be good in life had finally  ended. I
> usually felt very "tense" all the time, but I felt  really relaxed and
went right
> to sleep.
>
>
> But then a few  hours later I woke right up feeling fear and a sense of
some
> very powerful  presence outside of my window.  I could not see  it but
could
> sense it somehow.  It was tremendously powerful.  And I could hear a
distant
> swirling noise.  I was terrified.  This sound came closer and closer and I
found
> that I was unable to  move.  It happened just as it had in the past.  My
body
> was  paralyzed.  I couldn't move and every attempt met with a terrible
pain.
>  I was just stuck there as this thing came closer and  closer.
>
>
> Then this thing  was in my room.  Finally it was hovering over me.  I
still
> could  not see anything.  Then it came into me and as it did my  thoughts
were
> shut up like water would be behind a dam.  It was as if  I had amnesia.  I
> suddenly had no recollection of who I was,  where I was, my past, nothing.
All I
> had was a feeling of  "existence" and able to process what was happening
at
> that  moment.  Suddenly I was transported to this place of outer darkness.
> Imagine stepping off of a space ship into the void of utter  darkness and
> aloneness.  I was alone in that place.  There was  no life, no earth, no
people, no
> sunshine, no God, no nothing.  It was the most horrible thing you can
imagine.
> And actually  you couldn't even imagine this.  It is beyond that.  It  was
so
> horrible that if it was hell adding fire wouldn't have made  it any worse.
> It was a feeling of being lost.  Nothing can be  more horrible than that.
Then
> suddenly I was back into my  body.  And I heard this voice speak to me.  I
> still to this day  don't know what spoke to me.  But this is what it said,
and I
> still  haven't made sense of it either.  It said this, "YOU DON'T NEED
ME".
> It was this creepy, make your hair stand on end whispery  voice.  And I
heard
> it not just with my ears but with every cell  of  my body.  Then it left
and
> I was able to move again and my thoughts  came rushing back into my mind
like
> the dam had been  broken.
>
>
> The first thing  I thought to say was, "God, God, God, God..." over and
over.
>  I was  so shaken that I could not even form a sentence in my  mind right
> away.  I was just hoping that God could still hear me.  Then I begged him
to
> forgive me for what I had said to him  earlier.  I told him I was sorry
and that I
> would not live the rest  of my life to hurt others or take revenge on him.
I
> asked  him to protect me from this place and told him that I would serve
him
> the  rest of my life.  I told God I would give him my whole life  and do
> whatever he wanted me to do with my life.  I told God that I  would start
seeking
> for Him first thing in the morning.  And I would continue to seek Him all
my
> days.
>
>
> Well, the next  day the first place I went was to the public library.  I
> really  didn't know where else to start.  So I went to the library and
checked
> out a bunch of religious books.  I took about a dozen or so  books home
and read
> them one after another.  I would get to  the middle of each book and
realize
> that whatever I was searching for just  wasn't there and threw it in the
pile
> of half read  books.
>
>
> Then I came  across this book called, HOW TO BECOME BORN AGAIN by Billy
> Graham.  I  had picked that book out of the library since I  thought to
myself, "I
> really do need to be born over again since I really  screwed up this life
so
> far."  As I read that book I  realized I had found some kind of key that I
was
> looking for to the whole  thing.  I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I
had
>  found it!!
>
>
> The book said  that the Bible says, "All have sinned and fall short of the
> glory of God.  That no one is righteous, no not one."  And that we all
deserve
> death and hell for the sins we have committed.  I was already  going to
hell
> long before I had ever blasphemed God  as I did.  Then the book said that
Jesus
> did not come for the  righteous but sinners and gave a verse that said,
"The
> healthy do not need a physician".
>
>
> I was told that  I could not earn my way to heaven by good works and that
the
> Bible says  our righteousness is as filthy rags.  I was taught in  the
> Catholic church that you had to earn your way to heaven by being good
enough.
>
>
> It then said  that Jesus was the only one who led a holy and sinless on
life
> on earth.  And that he laid his life down in our place to receive the
> punishment for our sins that we rightly deserved.  A righteous God  cannot
have sin
> in his presence and Jesus atoned for our  sins and his blood paid the due
> penalty for our sins.  And that if we  gave our lives to Jesus and
accepted him as
> Lord of  our life that our sins would be buried in his death.  And that we
> would have a new life.  The old life would die and we would be given  a
new one.
>  The Bible says we become a "New Creature".  And that  we would be "Born
> Again".  That this is what being  "born again" meant.  In this new life
however I
> would die to myself  and live only for Christ and he would lead me all my
> days.  That his spirit would live inside me and guide me and teach me.
So, I gave
> my life to Jesus on September 3rd, 1980.  And  that is how I became a
> Christian.
>
>
> I was so  confused back then about all the strange things that had
happened
> to me  and read this verse, "God is not the author of confusion".  I told
God
> to please make sense of everything so I can someday  understand.  And from
that
> day forward I began to  understand more and more.  I understood that God
> really did love me  after all even though I accused him of not loving me.
The
> Bible says that we love him because He first loved us.  He loved us  so
much
> that he gave his only begotton Son.  No greater  love has any man than
this the
> Bible says, that he lay down his life for  his friends.  Jesus never lived
any
> of his life on this earth for  himself but gave up everything for our
sakes
> and even died a most  humiliating death.  But he conquered death when he
rose
> again from the dead.  The Bible says he now holds the KEYS TO DEATH  AND
HELL
> because he conquered the grave.  That he spoiled the principalities and
powers
> and overcame the enemy  (Satan).  He promises all those who follow him
that
> they will  all be raised from the dead as He when death is swallowed up in
> victory  and we will sing, "Death where is your sting?"
>
>
> Revelation  1:18  I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive
for
> ever  and ever! And I hold the keys of death and  Hades.
>
>
> Send questions or comments to me at this e-mail  address~
> [log in to unmask] (mailto:[log in to unmask])
>
>
> Please note~  My testimony mentions  a book by Billy Graham.  I  have not
> gone on to be a follower  of Graham.  I have not read any  of his other
books nor
> have I  ever been involved with his ministry  in any way.  Instead, I
became
> a  follower of Jesus Christ.  It was  the Bible Scriptures that led me  to
the
> truth not the mere writings  of man.  His book only served as  an
> introduction to the Bible.
>
>
>
>
>


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