sent: Saturday, July 15, 2006 9:07 PM Subject: My Testimony I am often asked by those who read my Christian novel, Coil of the Snake, Do those things really happen today? I mean, do such things occur in real life or did you make it all up? Here is a personal testimony a lady wants me to put on my website. she is currently a reader of my Christian online novel. You decide. Phil. > > Rescued > My Testimony > > > The form of "Christianity" I was taught when younger really was not truly > what the Bible teaches. I was raised as a Catholic although I hardly ever > went to church. We were taught that the way a person is saved was by taking > communion. Jesus to me was some distant figure in the stained glass window who > held a lamb over his shoulder. I never really knew who he was and what it was > all about. All I knew is that he was represented as a person nailed to a > crucifix. > > > I never knew God. All I knew were some meaningless church rituals. My > mother never knew God either. She was later drawn to occultism in a search for > something in the spirit world that was personal. God seemed like a million > miles away to her. She began by getting into using an Ouija board to contact > the spirit world. The board swore constantly. It's predictions came true > quite often however. But my mother was afraid because it predicted bad things. > It said that I would grow up to be a hellion. My mother and my aunt used to > sit there blindfolded using the board and had a third person jot down > everything that was spelled out. It went so fast the person barely had time to > jot it all down. One day my mother and aunt decided to ask it what it was and > it told them it was a female whore. They finally decided to break the board > up and get rid of it. They knew this thing must have been evil. > > > Then some years later my mother got involved in drawing up horoscopes to > predict people's future and reading Tarot cards for them. She also read several > books by mediums such as Edgar Cayce and Seth. My mother and uncle went to > psychic fairs where they had their palms read. They dabbled in just about > every magic art that was popular at the time. > > > My mother read Tarot cards for a friend of hers one time and the prediction > was that this person's next-door neighbor would die within a week. My mother > laughed and thought that it was ludicrous and wouldn't happen. Well, that > person's neighbor was mugged and thrown over a bridge in town and died by the > end of the week. My mother then thought it was just some kind of > coincidence. > > > Then she read cards again for another friend. This time she predicted death > and the number two. She laughed again thinking it was silly. She returned > to that friend's house two months later however and was approached by her > friend's daughter screaming at her that she was a witch. The girl said to my > mother crying, "Go away you witch!!! My best friend died on her 22nd > birthday which was Feb. 2nd!!! I hate you, leave you witch!!" My mother then > finally realized that it wasn't a game and quit reading cards. > > > When I was younger, about 12, during the time she was still involved with > such things one day I went over to look at the cards on the counter. I touched > them and looked at each one. One had a Satan symbol on it, another a > pentagram, another was a wealth card, another was a death card. I put them down > and went and sat on our couch. > > > Suddenly something came and paralyzed me. I just could not move a muscle. > I tried to move my arm or leg and it wouldn't budge. I tried to open my > eyes, I tried to scream. No matter how hard I tried I just could not move. And > each time I tried to move I had a really horrible pain in the back of my > head. I couldn't even move my finger! It was horrible. It was like my body > was asleep but I was wide awake in it and trapped! There was nothing I could > do but be stuck there. Then suddenly I could see the whole room although my > eyes we shut. Then instantly the whole room turned silver and all of a > sudden all I heard was hideous laughter coming from every corner of the room. I > didn't see any figures. I just heard the laughter. It was hideous, horrible > laughter and I was in the middle of all of it. And one laugh was louder than > the rest. Then suddenly it stopped and I was able to move again. > > > I didn't know why this event had happened to me. I was unable to really > process the whole thing. There was no one to talk to about it and if I told > anyone they would just think I was crazy. So what I did was try and put the > whole thing out of my mind. I watched tv and tried not to think about it. > > > This caused me to be an insomniac as a child. I would fear that this would > happen to me again. And other things did happen to me. Although the events > were few and far between they were so awful that I dreaded the next time it > would happen. Things calmed down after my mother got scared out of Tarot card > reading. > > > Then soon someone came along in my life who introduced me to something I > hadn't really known before. I was only 15 but for the first time in my life > had a male person love me. My father had left my mother when I was just four > years old. So I had never known a father. It was a big gap in my life. This > boy's name was Peter. He was the same age. We met in highschool English > class while studying Romeo and Juliet. And boy I tell ya, for 15 year olds we > were pretty "intense". I loved him more than anything I had ever known. > > > Then after being together for only 9 months he suddenly broke up with me one > day. I was devastated. I was hoping he was just confused and we would get > back together. But he totally ignored me. If I even said hi to him in the > hallway, although I knew he heard me, he wouldn't even look my way. I was > crushed. It as if some truck came and ran me over. I did not know how I could > go on. > > > The whole summer break from school went by and I didn't bother him. But I > still held out hope. Then when school started in September I was hoping he > would have a change of heart. I picked up the phone and called him in the > evening. It took all my courage to do it. And he answered. I talked but he > acted like he didn't want to talk to me. He gave short answers like, "yeah" and > acted bored. I suddenly cried, "You don't really want to talk to me!" > And slammed the phone down. Then I ran out the door determined to run in front > of a huge mac truck on the highway near where we lived. We lived off of a > major highway that had huge trucks going by at the maximum speed limit. > > > It was a really rainy stormy night all of a sudden. It was pouring rain. > It was so bad that on the road the traffic was barely moving. I would step > out in front of a car and they would stop immediately because they would see me > in their headlights. I finally gave up and walked over to my old nearby > elementary school and sat on the swings. > > > As I sat there I thought about how unfair my life had been. How I had been > jipped out of having a father. How I had a minor disability (dyslexia), how > I was poor, how I was being raised by a mother who was cruel to me. And how > I had been molested by some stranger at the age of four. I was most of all > angry at God because I had lost this boyfriend I had dearly loved. I told > God that he must have known what my life would turn out like and asked him why > he didn't want me to be loved. I accused Him of not loving me. I truly > felt at that moment that no one loved me. I was brokenhearted, devastated and > empty. There was nothing to live for. > > > I then went back to the road hoping some stranger would just attack me and > my life could be done away with. I didn't care what happened to me. Then my > mother's car drove up beside me with my neighbor in it. They told me to get > in the car but I just ignored them. Then finally when they saw that I was > not responding and just kept on walking my neighbor got out of the car and > physically forced me into the car. I fought her but I was no match for her as > she was huge. > > > I sat there between my mother and neighbor looking blankly ahead. I didn't > talk to anyone. My mother put her arm around me and told me she loved me. I > just threw her arm off and said nothing. Then when we were home I was > questioned by the both of them. But all I did was sit there looking hollow and not > responding at all. My neighbor was so frustrated that she finally gave up > and left. I finally went to bed around 11pm. > > > As I laid in bed everything was quiet, then I suddenly overheard my mother > weeping to herself. She must have been crying over me I figured. I quietly > laughed to myself glad that I had hurt her because she had been so miserable > to me all my life. Then when she was finally done I started to talk to God in > my head again. > > > This time I told God how much I hated myself. I told him I hated being me. > That I wanted to be anyone else but me, that I hated my own company. I > loathed myself so much that I told God that I wanted to go to hell. I told God > to send me to hell. Then I told him that I was angry with him for what he > allowed to happen to me in my life. I told him I had a lousy life and it was > all his fault. And that if he loved me he would have made sure I didn't wind > up in a life like this. I told him I hated him and called him every swear > word I could think of. Then I told him that I would just live the rest of my > life to hurt him back and I would do that by hurting everyone around me. > > Then after I did all of that amazingly I felt really relaxed. Like some big > weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was as if something got up and > left! It was like the struggle to be good in life had finally ended. I > usually felt very "tense" all the time, but I felt really relaxed and went right > to sleep. > > > But then a few hours later I woke right up feeling fear and a sense of some > very powerful presence outside of my window. I could not see it but could > sense it somehow. It was tremendously powerful. And I could hear a distant > swirling noise. I was terrified. This sound came closer and closer and I found > that I was unable to move. It happened just as it had in the past. My body > was paralyzed. I couldn't move and every attempt met with a terrible pain. > I was just stuck there as this thing came closer and closer. > > > Then this thing was in my room. Finally it was hovering over me. I still > could not see anything. Then it came into me and as it did my thoughts were > shut up like water would be behind a dam. It was as if I had amnesia. I > suddenly had no recollection of who I was, where I was, my past, nothing. All I > had was a feeling of "existence" and able to process what was happening at > that moment. Suddenly I was transported to this place of outer darkness. > Imagine stepping off of a space ship into the void of utter darkness and > aloneness. I was alone in that place. There was no life, no earth, no people, no > sunshine, no God, no nothing. It was the most horrible thing you can imagine. > And actually you couldn't even imagine this. It is beyond that. It was so > horrible that if it was hell adding fire wouldn't have made it any worse. > It was a feeling of being lost. Nothing can be more horrible than that. Then > suddenly I was back into my body. And I heard this voice speak to me. I > still to this day don't know what spoke to me. But this is what it said, and I > still haven't made sense of it either. It said this, "YOU DON'T NEED ME". > It was this creepy, make your hair stand on end whispery voice. And I heard > it not just with my ears but with every cell of my body. Then it left and > I was able to move again and my thoughts came rushing back into my mind like > the dam had been broken. > > > The first thing I thought to say was, "God, God, God, God..." over and over. > I was so shaken that I could not even form a sentence in my mind right > away. I was just hoping that God could still hear me. Then I begged him to > forgive me for what I had said to him earlier. I told him I was sorry and that I > would not live the rest of my life to hurt others or take revenge on him. I > asked him to protect me from this place and told him that I would serve him > the rest of my life. I told God I would give him my whole life and do > whatever he wanted me to do with my life. I told God that I would start seeking > for Him first thing in the morning. And I would continue to seek Him all my > days. > > > Well, the next day the first place I went was to the public library. I > really didn't know where else to start. So I went to the library and checked > out a bunch of religious books. I took about a dozen or so books home and read > them one after another. I would get to the middle of each book and realize > that whatever I was searching for just wasn't there and threw it in the pile > of half read books. > > > Then I came across this book called, HOW TO BECOME BORN AGAIN by Billy > Graham. I had picked that book out of the library since I thought to myself, "I > really do need to be born over again since I really screwed up this life so > far." As I read that book I realized I had found some kind of key that I was > looking for to the whole thing. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had > found it!! > > > The book said that the Bible says, "All have sinned and fall short of the > glory of God. That no one is righteous, no not one." And that we all deserve > death and hell for the sins we have committed. I was already going to hell > long before I had ever blasphemed God as I did. Then the book said that Jesus > did not come for the righteous but sinners and gave a verse that said, "The > healthy do not need a physician". > > > I was told that I could not earn my way to heaven by good works and that the > Bible says our righteousness is as filthy rags. I was taught in the > Catholic church that you had to earn your way to heaven by being good enough. > > > It then said that Jesus was the only one who led a holy and sinless on life > on earth. And that he laid his life down in our place to receive the > punishment for our sins that we rightly deserved. A righteous God cannot have sin > in his presence and Jesus atoned for our sins and his blood paid the due > penalty for our sins. And that if we gave our lives to Jesus and accepted him as > Lord of our life that our sins would be buried in his death. And that we > would have a new life. The old life would die and we would be given a new one. > The Bible says we become a "New Creature". And that we would be "Born > Again". That this is what being "born again" meant. In this new life however I > would die to myself and live only for Christ and he would lead me all my > days. That his spirit would live inside me and guide me and teach me. So, I gave > my life to Jesus on September 3rd, 1980. And that is how I became a > Christian. > > > I was so confused back then about all the strange things that had happened > to me and read this verse, "God is not the author of confusion". I told God > to please make sense of everything so I can someday understand. And from that > day forward I began to understand more and more. I understood that God > really did love me after all even though I accused him of not loving me. The > Bible says that we love him because He first loved us. He loved us so much > that he gave his only begotton Son. No greater love has any man than this the > Bible says, that he lay down his life for his friends. Jesus never lived any > of his life on this earth for himself but gave up everything for our sakes > and even died a most humiliating death. But he conquered death when he rose > again from the dead. The Bible says he now holds the KEYS TO DEATH AND HELL > because he conquered the grave. That he spoiled the principalities and powers > and overcame the enemy (Satan). He promises all those who follow him that > they will all be raised from the dead as He when death is swallowed up in > victory and we will sing, "Death where is your sting?" > > > Revelation 1:18 I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for > ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades. > > > Send questions or comments to me at this e-mail address~ > [log in to unmask] (mailto:[log in to unmask]) > > > Please note~ My testimony mentions a book by Billy Graham. I have not > gone on to be a follower of Graham. I have not read any of his other books nor > have I ever been involved with his ministry in any way. Instead, I became > a follower of Jesus Christ. It was the Bible Scriptures that led me to the > truth not the mere writings of man. His book only served as an > introduction to the Bible. > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.10.1/389 - Release Date: 7/14/06