I wana make some noise around here. This is an article I wrote.
A Vending Machine in the gymnasium?!
By Sharon Hooley
There's a recreation center in town with a vending machine in the gym.
But don't despair too much, as there's no need to feel quite as guilty
as you would with a regular kind. Dr. Kandace Vendaweit, a fitness
coach as well as a programming engineer, has invented an unusual
contraption with handles, levers and pedals that surround the money slot
so closely as to make it harder to find and use. There is also what
appears to be a stair stepper toward the bottom below the chutes the
change and goodies drop into. So how does it work?
For the first time, and with trepidation, you manage to insert your $1
bill into the slot and select a Snickers candy bar. When the next
screen pops up you realize that there's an onboard screen reader with
every imaginable format so anyone can read the messages…
“So, you really want that candy bar, do you?" You hear what you surmize
is the recorded taunting voice of Dr. Vendaweit herself. "Well, in order
to get it, you must do the following: Now, I always keep track of
everything you do with me, and I went out of my way to provide every
possible means for you to understand clearly what I say, so there’s
absolutely no excuse, unless you want to leave your change behind!…
"Let us begin now. Pump the top two levers up and down for 5 minutes"...
"Now, push and pull the two weighted handles below for 10 minutes"...
"Now, cycle the pedals with your arms for 15 minutes. They're located
just above the chutes."...
"Now, use the stair-stepper that’s below the chutes for 20 minutes"…
"Now, do a kick boxing practice session against the left and right side
panels"…”
Suddenly, and to your immense relief, you hear the all-too-familiar
thump and clang. "There's your Snickers Bar!" she says in an overly
cheerful tone. "I suppose I could have added a scale for you to stepp
on to finally get the candy out, but then wouldn’t that be pointless?
“Don’t forget your change… of diet next time!”
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