I have been following the discussions of childhood Cerebral Palsy. My family
especially my mother had a problem accepting my disability.

As a youngster we would often go to bungalow colonies as a place to spend
this summer. Normally the fathers would spend the work week at home.

At 1 of these places the teenagers decided to hereditary a penny arcade and
we would donate the funds to Cerebral Palsy. There was a woman who worked at
a Cerebral Palsy organization. I remember talking with this individual but I
had no connection with Cerebral Palsy. That concept seemed not a part of me.

About two years later I was studying biology and we were studying Mandal
genetics and was told that many traits such as mentally retardation etc. was
hereditary. I as a teenager asked my parents if I could have normal
children. At that point the concept of Cerebral Palsy was finally explained
to me.

All my life I knew I was different. I couldn't play jump rope, walk the
fence and do what activities that the other children were doing. I was main
streamed in kindergarten as my parents were concerned about me going to a
school outside of my neighborhood. I was never able to develop an early
vocabulary about the condition I had. The only verbal words I could use to
describe myself internally was mentally retarded. This, of course was way
out of line.

I also have a memory of my mother getting very upset when the kindergarten
teacher was holding my hand on a flight of stairs. My childhood was fill of
actions of my mother constantly telling me to hold my pencil right, hold my
fork right, control my voice, etc..

Maybe the reactions of the my childhood has played negative role. I never
saw myself as a disabled or none disabled. I had difficulty getting help
from disability organizations and none disabled organizations.

My husband says that I am borderline. I do have difficulty in hand
coordination, speech, writing, walking etc.

Joyce