This has been a really interesting string/thread. I'm a Mom and totally
seeing the needs of the parents to choose. I also have perfect hind sight
about certain things I wish my parents had done differently during my
childhood (although they are not disability related, I think it still
applies.) It is really interesting to read response from adults who did and
didn't do the surgery.

The role of parents when caring for kids with special needs really brings to
the fore many issues regarding parenting. My daughter's delays were not
identified until she was two; they are mainly developmental and her needs
from the medical community have been thankfully minor. However, as a parent I
felt intensely the intrusion on our family the scrutiny of many assessments,
therapists and lots of advice (good, bad and awful) from almost every well
meaning acquaintance and professional we encountered.  Of course, I realize
the therapists and extra time in school/daycare is necessary to help my
daughter grow to be a productive and happy adult. I am incredibly thankful
for all of these 'intrusions' to help my daughter grow to be all she can be.
But, there is still a part of me that feels failure because we can't raise
our daughter without all of this outside help. It's a dilemma.

Elaine-can you ask the surgical group working with your daughter to connect
you and maybe your daughter with other families whose children who have had
this surgery or something close? It must be harder for your daughter to
accept the idea that she needs surgery because her twin has had so many
surgeries and she has always been the 'healthy' one. I'm just brainstorming,
but do you suppose that she is afraid of changing places with him? or worried
that the family can't handle two kids who need special attention? Or does she
just have a good idea that the time in the spica means?, because she has
visited brother in the hospital so often. Like I said, Just brainstorming.

Loree