My mother was an immigrant from Poland. As everyone told me my mother had
the typical eastern European accent. I can here this accent clearly in other
people. A renown Canadian reporter has such an accent which is evident to
me. Yet my husband had to tell me that my mother's accent existed.

Joyce

----- Original Message -----
From: Bobby Greer <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, December 08, 1999 9:18 AM
Subject: Re: Talking to kids about disabilities


> Dear List,
>
>          I have not contributed much to this thread, but I just recalled a
>  fascinating anecdote that I feel adds something, here. Years ago, when I
>  was conducting interviews for my dissertation, I interviewed a couple who
>  both were CP. They had two non-disabled children, one an infant and a
child
>  about
>  4 or 5. The couple both had what I thought to be more obvious gait
>  patterns than I had. The woman was in a another room dressing the infant
>  and I was sitting in the living room with the older child. I had not met
>  the child before, so, to her, I was a stranger. Every time I walked
across
>  the room the child stared at me. Finally, I asked her if she wanted to
>  asked me something. She said, "Yeah, why do you walk so funny?" Now, I
have
>  had similar comments from other children, but I assumed a child with CP
>  parents would have abstracted the similarity between myself and her
>  parents. I believe, now, that children grrowing up around adults who are
>  "different" in some way are not aware of that difference. What reinforced
>  this for me was when some years back my wife informed me about mentioning
>  my speech defect to our child, whereupon, they indignitly inquired, "What
>  speech defect?" To them, I was their dad and they perceived nothing
>  "different" about my speech!!!
>          All of this makes it clear that young children growing up around
>  significant adults who have "different" traits, do not perceive those
>  traits as
>  "different". An interesting question is: when do children become aware of
such
>  differences??
>
>  Bobby
>
>
>
>
> >When kids are young, usually under 8, and they are staring at my kids, I
try
> >to draw them into a conversation about the power chair and show how
"cool" it
> >is that Alex and Briana can drive it themselves just like the powerwheel
cars
> >that kids use.  However, when kids look old enough to understand and just
> >stare, I have instructed Briana to ask them "Do you have a problem or
What
> >are you looking at?"
> >
> >It may not be very nice, but I am very tired of people staring at my
kids.
> >She did it once to a kid in ShopRite and he sort of stuttered "ah, ah,
> >nothing," he was old enough to know better, and hopefully, he won't do it
> >again.  I will not have people staring at my kids like their freaks!
> >
> >The other thing I am extremely tired of is adults looking at them in pity
and
> >patting them on the head.  Their not dogs for heaven's sake.  Or, oh, God
> >Bless you (he already has, they just don't know it), I don't know how you
do
> >it.  It may be a well intended statement, but quite honestly, I'm tired
of it.
> >
> >Elaine
>