Dear Betty:
I think others have given you good advice about having your Mom seek
counseling. Like all good advice though you can lead the horse to the trough
but you can't make him drink. Have you considered getting counseling for
yourself in this situation. After reading Trisha and Kyles exchange on
parenting styles and parent/child relationships it becomes clear that the
parent child relationship is quite complicated. It understandable that you
are angry at your Mom for waiting so long to get medical help. It must be
very difficult to switch roles from being the daughter to taking on parenting
your parent.
This may be especially true since you have your own medical issues that could
use some mothering empathy. I'm getting the impression (and I hope I'm wrong)
that your mothers condition is terminal. She is angary at you for forcing the
issue (after all she wasn't terminal until you made her face the facts she
was ignoring...denial has a warped sense of logic).  All sorts of
relationship issues involved here. Dying always does.  If she is terminal you
may want to contact the hospice organization near you for guidance. These are
issues they deal with all the time.  You can't change your Mom but you can
change how you deal with this yourself.  In the mean time wish you courage,
stamina and emotional and physical strength in dealing with all of this.

Joanne
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