OOOOPPPPPSSSS,
I thought this was just going straight to Kyle.
> Hi Kyle,
>
> I am not trying to pick a fight - the first post made me wince -
> mainly
> becasue I was thinking of the kids - if you say that stuff at home you
> little ones could repeat it to the older sister and her feeling could be
> hurt. Its incredible what the little ones say sometimes that they heard.
>
> And no you are not suspect becasue you are man. The rotten parent
> thing
> works both ways. Not everyone is cut out to be parent - and that is not a
> gender thing. I have never been for the Mom unquestioning getting the
> child
> - I think the child needs to be with the parent that is best equipped to
> care for it. And frankly sometimes they should go to a third party that
> can
> care for them.I just took in a kid who has two scewed up parents.
>
> There is no garuntee how we spend the money. The law can't dictate
> that
> any more than it can dictate how much you spend on your kids. And no, its
> not that about being a man. Its about the kids. They are the loser's in
> this. It wouldn't hurt to remind people of going on and have brief word
> of
> background - may not remember in detail what discussed years ago. Leave
> the
> bad feelings and getting even to God. Believe me, he will do a better job
> than you ever will and the bitterness isn't a good thing for you. With all
> the challenges you have you don't need the heart burn. Its so easy to fall
> into that mode but you married her and had a child - and it sounds like a
> great kid at that. That should outweigh any sum of money. You might
> checking
> into grants for her for college. What does she want be? Amber still has no
> idea.
>
> However for Amber and also my students - yup - I have lots of disabled
> students in my classes I am back on the list. I never did figure out what
> exactly happened - but I do know Betty talks behind peoples backs really
> badly. After all I was friends with her and listened to her talk about the
> other people in her life - I admit to being stupid becasue she always
> raved
> about how wonderful I was to my face while talking badly about everyone -
> including the list people ( yup, she talked bad about you guys too - not
> that I would repeat what she said - and yes I do remember). At least if I
> have something on my mind - I say to your face. I got an very
> illumainating
> e-mail from her maybe 2 months ago after a phone call that we had a great
> time with - I had suddenly joined the ranks of her Mother, her Uncle, Jody
> and Ann with the forcing her to do things. Amazingly she remembered coming
> to my house and being made fun off - when the rest of us it remember it as
> a
> great party where she reconnected with someone she knew from signing (
> sign
> language). And as Amber pointed out she was always the first person to bad
> mouth Christians, the same way she jumped on the bad mouthing the TABs.
> There are people on the planet who are like that, and frankly unless you
> are
> close to them - you wouldn't know. Just like I am clueless as to what she
> told you all about me - beyond that I doubt it was good and I doubt it was
> true. Her friend Jody loved her, and I never saw her Betty anyway other
> than
> lovingly and kind. Her family also. I tried to make allowances becasue it
> is shock when you become disabled and a huge adjustment. I brought to the
> list becasue I believed you guys could help her and being list
> adminsitrator
> would give her raise to get up. I had no idea she was two faced. I do now
> and I get to be the villian for a number of reasons but mainly becasue I
> am
> different. Betty was one of those - don't let any good deed go unpunished
> things!! LOL As if I can't get into enough trouble on my own!!
> Personally
> as far as people go - stupidity isn't limited to any group as far as I
> know
> each and everyone of us practices it liberally periodically. I think you
> guys painted me Black when just like everyone else I am grey.
>
> Trisha
>
>
>
>
> > Ah well, in Ohio, "Tender Years Doctrine" is the standard, meaning that
> a
> > child under age twelve will remain with Mom at all costs, unless Mom is
> > committed or in jail. I didn't see the advantage in putting Adrienne
> > through the trauma of not seeing her Mom--my options were that 1) she
> > remain
> > the residential parent or 2) I press charges that she had raped her
> > sixteen
> > year old boyfriend in order to have her committed.
> >
> > So, I paid my child support, purchased every stitch of clothes the kid
> > ever
> > wore and bought groceries for her every week. I am upset that the
> states
> > mandate support, but do nothing to ensure the money is being spent on
> the
> > child. So, I was paying $550/month in support while Adrienne was in her
> > mom's home. I will now be paying $1100/month for her to attend a
> private
> > liberal arts college near Philly (actually, the tuition is $26K/yr--she
> > has
> > an academic scholarship for the other $13K). My joy is based that my ex
> > can
> > no longer live off her daughter's child support (and will have to rely
> on
> > the support from the other fathers whose children she bore). Yes, one
> can
> > actually live a rather comfortable life living off of one's children.
> >
> > But, I am a man, therefore I am suspect from the beginning, right
> Trisha?
> > Possibly you don't remember situations that were discussed prior to your
> > timely hiatus from the list?
> >
> > If you are wanting to "pick a fight", let me know now. I will not fight
> > you, nor will I respond to any more of your posts, public or private.
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Barber, Kenneth L. [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> > Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 11:35 AM
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: current events
> >
> >
> > i would guess that all the states have a formula. i know alabama has an
> > amount and it is figured on the % of total income of both pasrents what
> is
> > actually paid. the one that makes more pays more of the expense.
> although
> > nenjamin stayed with me, i got nothing from his mom even though i could
> > have. i am happy to have raised my child. he don't even remember her.
> > judy
> > is mom.
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Trisha Cummings [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> > Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 11:27 AM
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: current events
> >
> >
> > I wasn't commenting on that - the child support portion was what I was
> > commenting on - and the states involvement in the amount - depending on
> > the
> > amount of the child support and the years he paid it and the amount of
> > college donation - he could be paying the same amount both ways. Would
> he
> > have paid more or less if it was voluntary? The state the amount - don't
> > know how - Virginia has 600 limit and that is divided between the two
> > incomes - by the percentage you put in. He will have paid - $36,000 in
> > child support ( over 12 years) and he has no intention of helping with
> > college or helping buy a car. In the mean time - I have put out -
> $65,000,
> > and that doesn't count - the cost of her medical care - like insurance -
> > which I carry and the co-pays and left over balances, nor the up and
> > coming
> > college amount of ?????? - nor the $15,000 for new car. I truly don't
> > begudge him his money - okay so he has new Honda motorcycle and a new
> car
> > and new digital camera nad computer and other stuff - I do begudge him
> the
> > extra time I am away from Amber - so we can live. He spends no time with
> > Amber, never calls her and until recently spazed out with the child
> > support
> > - the kid had no money and lost mom time. The kids want me home. When
> > Jackie
> > was living there - she waitress part-time and gave me money so I could
> > stay
> > home with them. The kids need us and our presence, and child support can
> > help with that. We only have kids for such a short time, shouldn't at
> > least
> > be with them then?
> >
> > Trisha
> >
> >
> > > i think kyle has already said he intends to continue with money for
> > > college
> > > voluntarily.
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Trisha Cummings [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> > > Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 10:53 AM
> > > To: [log in to unmask]
> > > Subject: Re: current events
> > >
> > >
> > > I don't see what the difference is - one should voluntarily pay for
> one
> > > kids
> > > - you do for the ones that live with - infact if you consider how much
> > the
> > > cost per month - child support usually looks piddly next it - I get
> $250
> > a
> > > month Amber, and put out at least $700. I get nothing for Alex and put
> > out
> > > the same amount. I arrive at this by dividing the house, utilities
> and
> > > food
> > > by three - then adding individual costs. Imagine the mess I would be
> in
> > if
> > > I
> > > didn't work 3 jobs. And this says nothing about the time spent running
> > > them
> > > around and vacations etc. Why does it matter that the state set limit?
> > If
> > > you checked out the number kids who never get child support like Alex,
> > > perhaps you would understand the necessity for state set limits. The
> sad
> > > truth is many people value money over people. Hate your ex-wife by all
> > > means
> > > but don't begrudge you child your support - finanacially or
> emotionally.
> > > It
> > > is not the child fault.
> > >
> > > Trisha
> > >
> > >
> > > > Biggest raise I've ever had in my life, but college starts this fall
> > > > <sigh>.
> > > > Oh well, at least it's Dad's decision to open his wallst, and not
> the
> > > > State
> > > > doing it for him!
> > > >
> > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > From: BG Greer, PhD [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> > > > Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 10:19 AM
> > > > To: [log in to unmask]
> > > > Subject: Re: current events
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > In a message dated 6/3/02 8:13:33 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
> > > >
> > > > >eh, congratsa kyle...
> > > >
> > > > Me too, Kyle. Now you, Laura and the kids will have more "cheese" to
> > go
> > > > around.
> > > >
> > > > Bobby
|
