OOOOPPPPPSSSS, I thought this was just going straight to Kyle. > Hi Kyle, > > I am not trying to pick a fight - the first post made me wince - > mainly > becasue I was thinking of the kids - if you say that stuff at home you > little ones could repeat it to the older sister and her feeling could be > hurt. Its incredible what the little ones say sometimes that they heard. > > And no you are not suspect becasue you are man. The rotten parent > thing > works both ways. Not everyone is cut out to be parent - and that is not a > gender thing. I have never been for the Mom unquestioning getting the > child > - I think the child needs to be with the parent that is best equipped to > care for it. And frankly sometimes they should go to a third party that > can > care for them.I just took in a kid who has two scewed up parents. > > There is no garuntee how we spend the money. The law can't dictate > that > any more than it can dictate how much you spend on your kids. And no, its > not that about being a man. Its about the kids. They are the loser's in > this. It wouldn't hurt to remind people of going on and have brief word > of > background - may not remember in detail what discussed years ago. Leave > the > bad feelings and getting even to God. Believe me, he will do a better job > than you ever will and the bitterness isn't a good thing for you. With all > the challenges you have you don't need the heart burn. Its so easy to fall > into that mode but you married her and had a child - and it sounds like a > great kid at that. That should outweigh any sum of money. You might > checking > into grants for her for college. What does she want be? Amber still has no > idea. > > However for Amber and also my students - yup - I have lots of disabled > students in my classes I am back on the list. I never did figure out what > exactly happened - but I do know Betty talks behind peoples backs really > badly. After all I was friends with her and listened to her talk about the > other people in her life - I admit to being stupid becasue she always > raved > about how wonderful I was to my face while talking badly about everyone - > including the list people ( yup, she talked bad about you guys too - not > that I would repeat what she said - and yes I do remember). At least if I > have something on my mind - I say to your face. I got an very > illumainating > e-mail from her maybe 2 months ago after a phone call that we had a great > time with - I had suddenly joined the ranks of her Mother, her Uncle, Jody > and Ann with the forcing her to do things. Amazingly she remembered coming > to my house and being made fun off - when the rest of us it remember it as > a > great party where she reconnected with someone she knew from signing ( > sign > language). And as Amber pointed out she was always the first person to bad > mouth Christians, the same way she jumped on the bad mouthing the TABs. > There are people on the planet who are like that, and frankly unless you > are > close to them - you wouldn't know. Just like I am clueless as to what she > told you all about me - beyond that I doubt it was good and I doubt it was > true. Her friend Jody loved her, and I never saw her Betty anyway other > than > lovingly and kind. Her family also. I tried to make allowances becasue it > is shock when you become disabled and a huge adjustment. I brought to the > list becasue I believed you guys could help her and being list > adminsitrator > would give her raise to get up. I had no idea she was two faced. I do now > and I get to be the villian for a number of reasons but mainly becasue I > am > different. Betty was one of those - don't let any good deed go unpunished > things!! LOL As if I can't get into enough trouble on my own!! > Personally > as far as people go - stupidity isn't limited to any group as far as I > know > each and everyone of us practices it liberally periodically. I think you > guys painted me Black when just like everyone else I am grey. > > Trisha > > > > > > Ah well, in Ohio, "Tender Years Doctrine" is the standard, meaning that > a > > child under age twelve will remain with Mom at all costs, unless Mom is > > committed or in jail. I didn't see the advantage in putting Adrienne > > through the trauma of not seeing her Mom--my options were that 1) she > > remain > > the residential parent or 2) I press charges that she had raped her > > sixteen > > year old boyfriend in order to have her committed. > > > > So, I paid my child support, purchased every stitch of clothes the kid > > ever > > wore and bought groceries for her every week. I am upset that the > states > > mandate support, but do nothing to ensure the money is being spent on > the > > child. So, I was paying $550/month in support while Adrienne was in her > > mom's home. I will now be paying $1100/month for her to attend a > private > > liberal arts college near Philly (actually, the tuition is $26K/yr--she > > has > > an academic scholarship for the other $13K). My joy is based that my ex > > can > > no longer live off her daughter's child support (and will have to rely > on > > the support from the other fathers whose children she bore). Yes, one > can > > actually live a rather comfortable life living off of one's children. > > > > But, I am a man, therefore I am suspect from the beginning, right > Trisha? > > Possibly you don't remember situations that were discussed prior to your > > timely hiatus from the list? > > > > If you are wanting to "pick a fight", let me know now. I will not fight > > you, nor will I respond to any more of your posts, public or private. > > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: Barber, Kenneth L. [mailto:[log in to unmask]] > > Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 11:35 AM > > To: [log in to unmask] > > Subject: Re: current events > > > > > > i would guess that all the states have a formula. i know alabama has an > > amount and it is figured on the % of total income of both pasrents what > is > > actually paid. the one that makes more pays more of the expense. > although > > nenjamin stayed with me, i got nothing from his mom even though i could > > have. i am happy to have raised my child. he don't even remember her. > > judy > > is mom. > > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: Trisha Cummings [mailto:[log in to unmask]] > > Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 11:27 AM > > To: [log in to unmask] > > Subject: Re: current events > > > > > > I wasn't commenting on that - the child support portion was what I was > > commenting on - and the states involvement in the amount - depending on > > the > > amount of the child support and the years he paid it and the amount of > > college donation - he could be paying the same amount both ways. Would > he > > have paid more or less if it was voluntary? The state the amount - don't > > know how - Virginia has 600 limit and that is divided between the two > > incomes - by the percentage you put in. He will have paid - $36,000 in > > child support ( over 12 years) and he has no intention of helping with > > college or helping buy a car. In the mean time - I have put out - > $65,000, > > and that doesn't count - the cost of her medical care - like insurance - > > which I carry and the co-pays and left over balances, nor the up and > > coming > > college amount of ?????? - nor the $15,000 for new car. I truly don't > > begudge him his money - okay so he has new Honda motorcycle and a new > car > > and new digital camera nad computer and other stuff - I do begudge him > the > > extra time I am away from Amber - so we can live. He spends no time with > > Amber, never calls her and until recently spazed out with the child > > support > > - the kid had no money and lost mom time. The kids want me home. When > > Jackie > > was living there - she waitress part-time and gave me money so I could > > stay > > home with them. The kids need us and our presence, and child support can > > help with that. We only have kids for such a short time, shouldn't at > > least > > be with them then? > > > > Trisha > > > > > > > i think kyle has already said he intends to continue with money for > > > college > > > voluntarily. > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > From: Trisha Cummings [mailto:[log in to unmask]] > > > Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 10:53 AM > > > To: [log in to unmask] > > > Subject: Re: current events > > > > > > > > > I don't see what the difference is - one should voluntarily pay for > one > > > kids > > > - you do for the ones that live with - infact if you consider how much > > the > > > cost per month - child support usually looks piddly next it - I get > $250 > > a > > > month Amber, and put out at least $700. I get nothing for Alex and put > > out > > > the same amount. I arrive at this by dividing the house, utilities > and > > > food > > > by three - then adding individual costs. Imagine the mess I would be > in > > if > > > I > > > didn't work 3 jobs. And this says nothing about the time spent running > > > them > > > around and vacations etc. Why does it matter that the state set limit? > > If > > > you checked out the number kids who never get child support like Alex, > > > perhaps you would understand the necessity for state set limits. The > sad > > > truth is many people value money over people. Hate your ex-wife by all > > > means > > > but don't begrudge you child your support - finanacially or > emotionally. > > > It > > > is not the child fault. > > > > > > Trisha > > > > > > > > > > Biggest raise I've ever had in my life, but college starts this fall > > > > <sigh>. > > > > Oh well, at least it's Dad's decision to open his wallst, and not > the > > > > State > > > > doing it for him! > > > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > > From: BG Greer, PhD [mailto:[log in to unmask]] > > > > Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 10:19 AM > > > > To: [log in to unmask] > > > > Subject: Re: current events > > > > > > > > > > > > In a message dated 6/3/02 8:13:33 AM, [log in to unmask] writes: > > > > > > > > >eh, congratsa kyle... > > > > > > > > Me too, Kyle. Now you, Laura and the kids will have more "cheese" to > > go > > > > around. > > > > > > > > Bobby