Phil Genova wrote:
> At the risk of offending Hans with an unrelated topic to the purpose of this
> list, I'd like to give a different spin on this problem Mary is having. See, I
> don't think the real issue is about the hubbie sabotaging Mary, I think it goes
> both ways. The only good advice I ever got from a marriage counselor (hey, he
> was a vegetarian, what did I expect . . ) was this: IF YOU WANT SOMETHING FROM
> YOUR HUSBAND, THEN GIVE IT FIRST. Let's get some perspective here. Mary didn't
> come to the altar carrying pemmican in her loincloth. She changed buffalos
> mid-stream. Poor hubbie is the one who feels sabotaged. Same cave-wife,
> different viddles, new rules. So, being like most cavemen out on the savannah,
> he has to do something real loud to be heard over her newfound zeal. I know, he
> says, "Let's give the neanderbabies some doughnuts. That'll really get the
> cavewife good and pissed off. Now she'll get a taste of the sabotage she's
> been dishing out. Besides, he thinks, "Is this paleocrap worth the price she
> pays for it? Why, she even puts her newfound hero, some skinny dude named Ray,
> before me. He's her new neanderguru. Me no more boss in my own cave anymore.
> Now me just chopped liver . . . "
> Soooooo, I think there's some key things to remember. First, even the most
> beautifully prepared meal turns to poison if there is no love, or harmony at the
> table. Don't believe me, then try eating during an argument. Hey, you want to
> see kids get into a real "fetal position", even better than one from eating some
> gluten? Try arguing with your mate at the dinner table in front of them and
> for added measure, start throwing things, and hurling accusations and maybe even
> not trusting the kids to be anywhere within a car's length of a fast food drive
> up window alone with their very own dad, who they just want to love. Second,
> Mary, you refer to Paleo as "Your Way of Life" That gives it too much clout, if
> you ask me. What happens to those closest to you, if they don't go along with
> your "Way of Life? " Hey, and better yet, what happens if in ten years, you
> ditch this way of eating for another ? Remember, you've already got a track
> record for change (like all of us). Now that's my definition of feeling
> sabotaged. Remember, we're talking about food here - not God. Does your diet
> serve you or do you serve it. Put another way - Do you live to eat or do you eat
> to live? Everything is relative in the larger scheme of things. Sounds like
> you got a second lease on life following a devastating illness. Also, you were
> savy enough to figure out how to help your kids with paleo. But, unless your
> husband is a psychopath or sadist, who enjoys seeing his kids suffer, my guess is
> he really loves them, too. Don't get caught up in the small stuff. Life is too
> short. Do your paleo gig, if it serves you. But in my life, when something
> starts to unglue the family, rather than unite us, its time to make some
> changes. A rigid tree snaps more readily in a storm than a more flexible one.
> Remember, there is beauty and perfection in everything, even in the absolute
> roundness of a doughnut. . . . .
> ( Sorry if this seems a bit flippant. Just have seen the devastation on kids
> that a diet done to the point of fanaticism can cause - emotional, especially.
> Kids don't give two damns about philosophy, they just want the food served hot
> and on time.)
>
> Judy Genova, cave-girl newbie, mom and fellow cancer survivor.
|