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        Hello, everybody --
 
        Okay, here is my story.  I ll try to keep it short.
 
        I have been feeling pretty lousy for a long time.  Symptoms include
depression, fatigue, PMS, abdominal cramps, migraines.  I would have
different symptoms on different days, and I could never figure out what the
problem was.  I knew, however, that it was food related, because I went on a
 caveman s diet  two years ago, cutting out all sugar, wheat, potatoes, corn,
dairy, legumes, and I felt better than I remember ever feeling before.  So
this year I started to do this again.  I  cut out everything again, with the
idea of  adding things back one by one, after I started feeling better, to
see what the culprit was.  I also kept a diary of everything I ate and all my
symptoms. Well, this is a really hard diet to stay on, and I would cheat once
in awhile with, say, crackers. And in my search for non-wheat flours, I came
across spelt.  The day I made the spelt pancakes was horrible!  I was so
grouchy I couldn t stand it!  Well, this was obviously a clue.  I d also
recently read an ad in the newspaper about the local Gluten Intolerance
meeting, which included possible symptoms.  So I was on the alert.  I looked
back in my diary, and saw that my symptoms did seem to follow wheat
ingestion.  So I went totally off wheat.  I also saw that I had diary after
eating barley, so I went off barley, oats and rye as well.  I started feeling
really, really good, for about a week.  Then I went to the Gluten Intolerance
meeting, where everyone told me I need to be tested, and I need to be eating
wheat to be tested.  So, like a good little girl, I went home and had a
hamburger (with bun).  I immediately started getting depressed.  Of course,
being depressed because I ve eaten wheat on top of being depressed because I
have to make myself sick in order to get well really made a lot of sense to
me.  But I stuck with it.
 
       I went to my general practitioner, in the hopes of getting a referral
to a gastroenterologist in the area who is supposed to be very knowledgeable
about celiacs.  The GI is no longer taking new patients, but is taking
referrals.  Anyway, I made the mistake of telling my regular doctor that my
main symptom is depression.  He of course decided that this was all a mental
problem, but to be different from other doctors I have been to, he did not
refer me to a psychiatrist, but instead suggested I go to church.  As I
already go to church, and the people praying for me have been the only thing
keeping me alive, I didn t think this was the problem.  Anyway, I guess to
prove to me that it was all in my head, the doctor wanted to do some tests.
He took blood, and tested and retested my thyroid.  All came out well, which
is to be expected if I am gluten intolerant, but also if it is all in my
head.  Next time I went, I took my husband, who is much more persuasive than
I.  The doctor agreed to give me a referral.  Unfortunately, the earliest
appointment was two months away.  As I had already been a month back on
wheat, and feeling really horrible, I ended up going to another GI, who would
see me sooner.
 
        To my surprise, he agreed to do an endoscopy the following Monday!
Tues day, he told me I don t have celiac.  He then gave me Flagyl, which I
diligently took for a week.  This apparently did some good, to his credit.
But, I also cut down on my wheat consumption.  After fasting for the
endoscopy, I then ate no wheat, thinking I would be going off permanently
anyway.  Besides, I wanted to feel better.  I still get depressed or
irritable after eating wheat, and the doctor has not given me a satisfactory
answer why.
 
        Anyway, after taking Flagyl for a week, and cutting WAY down on
wheat, I was feeling quite a bit better.  I went back to the doctor and told
him this, so he marked my file CURED.  I told him I still have mood swings
with wheat, and I plan to not eat it anymore, and he basically ignored this.
He then decided to tell me I had two polyps in my stomach, which were nothing
to worry about at this point, but I should get them checked every few years.
 
        So here is where I am:
 
        I am a self-diagnosed celiac.  I am tired of going to doctor after
doctor and trying unsuccessfully to get help.  I am 38 years old, so I am
choosing for myself to stop trying to be tested.  I can either believe the
doctor who says I am not celiac, (and who, by the way, said he took the
biopsy in my stomach) and go on eating wheat and feeling bad, or I can keep
eating wheat and keep going from doctor to doctor, feeling bad.  Or I can
quit eating wheat and feel good.  Since I have these polyps in my stomach
which need to be tested again, maybe a few years down the road, maybe I will
feel better about eating wheat for a month before my next endoscopy.  As it
is, I feel really good right now, eating everything but wheat, oats, barley,
rye and spelt (which I found out is higher in gluten than wheat).  So I
choose.  My problem now is that I feel I won t be supported by my local
support group.  I don t want to go to every meeting expecting to argue about
why I choose to feel better rather than fight the doctors.
 
        So that s my story.  I m sorry if it s too long for those of you who
are rushed for time.  Just wanted to let you know I m out here lurking.  And
thank you all for your unknowing support.
 
Debbie McCollister
 Man shall not live by bread alone.
                -- Jesus