Pat, good ones.

earlier, Pat Ferguson, wrote:
>Bible humor? really!
>
>Q.  Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A.  Noah.  He was 
>floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
>
>Q.  Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? 
>A.  Pharaoh's daughter.  She went down to the bank of the Nile and 
>drew out a little prophet.
>
>Q.  What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? A.  Ruth-less.
>
>Q.  Who was the first drug addict in the Bible? 
>A.  Nebuchadnezzar.  He was on grass for seven years.
>
>Q.  What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A.  Jehovah drove 
>Adam and Eve out of the Garden in Fury.  A.  David's Triumph was 
>heard throughout the land.  A.  Honda...bbc the apostles were all in 
>one Accord.  A.  2 Cor.  4-8 describes going out in service in a 
>Volkswagen Beetle: "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped 
>beyond movement."
>
>Q.  Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A.  Samson.  He 
>brought the house down.
>
>Q.  Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A.  In the big 
>inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second.  Cain struck out Abel, 
>and the Prodigal Son came home.  The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
>
>Q.  How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? 
>A.  They were really put out.
>
>Q.  What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they 
>were kicked out? A.  They really raised Cain.
>
>Q.  What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer 
>lived in Eden? A.  Your mother ate us out of house and home.
>
>Q.  The ark was built in 3 stories, and the top story had a window 
>to let the light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 
>stories? A.  They used floodlights.
>
>Q.  Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? 
>A.  David.  He rocked Goliath to sleep.
>
>Q.  Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a 
>slingshot? A.  The thought had never entered his head before.
>
>Q.  What do they call pastors in Germany? A.  German Shepherds.
>
>Q.  What is the best way to get to Paradise? A.  Turn right and go straight.
>
>Q.  Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the 
>Bible? A.  Moses.  Because he broke all 10 commandments at once.
>
>Q.  Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A.  The area 
>around the Jordan.  The banks were always overflowing.
>
>Q.  How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor? A.  Because in 
>Job 16:12 we read, "I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to 
>shake me up and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded 
>to smash me."
>
>Q.  Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A.  When 
>Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
>
>Q.  What is the first recorded case of constipation in the Bible? 
>A.  It's in Kings, where it says that David sat on the Throne for forty years.
>
>Q.  Which Bible character had no parents? A.  Joshua, son of Nun.
>
>Q.  Why didn't Noah go fishing? A.  He only had two worms!
>
>Q.  How do we know that they played cards in the ark? A.  Because 
>Noah sat on the deck.
>
>
>Thanks much.
>
>Many Blessings,
>
>Pat Ferguson
>"I can Do all Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me." Phillippians 4:13.