Oh I daresay I figured we all have to laugh at ourselves.  I'm a died in the
wool liberal ( I do make my money helping the ones who fall through current
systems cracks).  Although I kinda like Deri's reinterpretation.

Beth t. 

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Cerebral Palsy List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] 
> On Behalf Of ken barber
> Sent: Sunday, January 06, 2008 10:32 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Liberals vs. Conservatives
> 
> oh....
> 
> --- Deri James <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> 
> > Not so funny!!
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic 
> > hunters/gatherers.  They lived on deer in the mountains during the 
> > summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and 
> lobster in the 
> > winter.
> >  
> > The two most important events in all of history were the 
> invention of 
> > beer and the invention of the wheel.  The wheel was invented to get 
> > man to the beer.  These were the foundation of modern 
> civilization and 
> > together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two 
> > distinct subgroups:
> >  
> > 
> > 1.       Liberals 
> > 2.       Conservatives. 
> >  
> > Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that
> > was the beginning of
> > agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum
> > can were invented yet, so
> > while our early humans were sitting around waiting
> > for them to be invented,
> > they just stayed close to the brewery.  That's how
> > villages were formed. 
> >  
> > Some men spent their days tracking and killing
> > animals to B-B-Q at night
> > while they were drinking beer. Their favourite
> > hunting method was to burn the 
> > prairie and wait for woolly mamoths to stampede off
> > the cliffs. This was the 
> > beginning of what is known as the Conservative
> > movement. 
> > 
> > Other men realised that if you cared for the
> > environment, looked after your 
> > animals, and planted fields, you did not have to
> > chase over miles of prairie 
> > to kill dangerous animals for food, the food was
> > right on your doorstep. This 
> > was the start of the Liberal Movement.
> > 
> > Although the fierce hunters enjoyed their life, it
> > was lonely, days away from 
> > their women, having to go further and further to
> > find a bit of prairie they 
> > hadn't burned. But this was the way their
> > forefathers lived - this was "the 
> > Conservative way".
> > 
> > Meanwhile the liberal farmers soon discovered that
> > if they all worked together 
> > and cooperated with each other, each specialising in
> > things they were good 
> > at, they could provide more than enough food for the
> > whole community. There 
> > was a surplus, they could start to do art, music,
> > dance. If one of their 
> > community became sick or old, there was enough food
> > for them to be looked 
> > after. They chose a donkey as a symbol to show that
> > even the lowliest & 
> > dumbest creature was an important integral part of
> > the community.
> > 
> > A hunter who became injured or too old to hunt lost
> > status, he either had to 
> > beg for food, or sacrifice himself as bait to a
> > sabre tooth tiger so that the 
> > clan could kill the tiger. He would then be revered
> > as a "hero".
> > 
> > Of course, eventually all the prairie had been
> > destroyed and the last woolly 
> > mammoth was killed, the proud hunters had to join
> > the liberals. You would be 
> > wrong if you thought that was the end of the
> > Conservatives, no, you can still 
> > see them, they're the ones who say "Why should I pay
> > taxes to anyone 
> > else.", "Right to bear arms", "Survival of the
> > fittest", "Clan/family/country 
> > comes first - fiddle sticks to the rest.", whilst
> > benefitting from a world 
> > where only cooperation, altruism, and consideration
> > is the only successful 
> > pattern for long term survival. Oh, and they still
> > hanker after the woolly 
> > mammoth, but since they killed them all, the
> > elephant is the closest thing.
> > 
> > Cheers
> > 
> > Deri
> > 
> > -----------------------
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> > 
> 
> 
> 
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