Oh I daresay I figured we all have to laugh at ourselves. I'm a died in the wool liberal ( I do make my money helping the ones who fall through current systems cracks). Although I kinda like Deri's reinterpretation. Beth t. > -----Original Message----- > From: Cerebral Palsy List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] > On Behalf Of ken barber > Sent: Sunday, January 06, 2008 10:32 PM > To: [log in to unmask] > Subject: Re: Liberals vs. Conservatives > > oh.... > > --- Deri James <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > > Not so funny!! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic > > hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the > > summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and > lobster in the > > winter. > > > > The two most important events in all of history were the > invention of > > beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get > > man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern > civilization and > > together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two > > distinct subgroups: > > > > > > 1. Liberals > > 2. Conservatives. > > > > Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that > > was the beginning of > > agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum > > can were invented yet, so > > while our early humans were sitting around waiting > > for them to be invented, > > they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how > > villages were formed. > > > > Some men spent their days tracking and killing > > animals to B-B-Q at night > > while they were drinking beer. Their favourite > > hunting method was to burn the > > prairie and wait for woolly mamoths to stampede off > > the cliffs. This was the > > beginning of what is known as the Conservative > > movement. > > > > Other men realised that if you cared for the > > environment, looked after your > > animals, and planted fields, you did not have to > > chase over miles of prairie > > to kill dangerous animals for food, the food was > > right on your doorstep. This > > was the start of the Liberal Movement. > > > > Although the fierce hunters enjoyed their life, it > > was lonely, days away from > > their women, having to go further and further to > > find a bit of prairie they > > hadn't burned. But this was the way their > > forefathers lived - this was "the > > Conservative way". > > > > Meanwhile the liberal farmers soon discovered that > > if they all worked together > > and cooperated with each other, each specialising in > > things they were good > > at, they could provide more than enough food for the > > whole community. There > > was a surplus, they could start to do art, music, > > dance. If one of their > > community became sick or old, there was enough food > > for them to be looked > > after. They chose a donkey as a symbol to show that > > even the lowliest & > > dumbest creature was an important integral part of > > the community. > > > > A hunter who became injured or too old to hunt lost > > status, he either had to > > beg for food, or sacrifice himself as bait to a > > sabre tooth tiger so that the > > clan could kill the tiger. He would then be revered > > as a "hero". > > > > Of course, eventually all the prairie had been > > destroyed and the last woolly > > mammoth was killed, the proud hunters had to join > > the liberals. You would be > > wrong if you thought that was the end of the > > Conservatives, no, you can still > > see them, they're the ones who say "Why should I pay > > taxes to anyone > > else.", "Right to bear arms", "Survival of the > > fittest", "Clan/family/country > > comes first - fiddle sticks to the rest.", whilst > > benefitting from a world > > where only cooperation, altruism, and consideration > > is the only successful > > pattern for long term survival. Oh, and they still > > hanker after the woolly > > mammoth, but since they killed them all, the > > elephant is the closest thing. > > > > Cheers > > > > Deri > > > > ----------------------- > > > > To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY > > list, go here: > > > > > http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________ > ______________________ > Be a better friend, newshound, and > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. > http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ > > ----------------------- > > To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here: > > http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy > ----------------------- To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here: http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy