Bobby Greer wrote:
<snip>
  This thing
> >is a land whale with rear-wheel drive, so I can do doughnuts in the
> >parking lot!  It's just like being in high school again!
> >
> >-Kyle

> Kyle,
>
>         "Doing donuts" in the snow. Shame on you! Joyce(my wife) is terrified
> by driving in snow and ice. She's had three near fatal accidents on ice and
> snow.

<snip>

> Bobby

Bet ya didn't know you were a prophet, eh, Bobby?

Last Friday we got another inch or so of freezing rain (19 degrees air
temp...wierd!), so they shut our office down at 1:00 in the afternoon.
I have a 33 mile drive home, interstate all the way.

I was about 10 miles or so from the house, in the right lane doing about
25-30 mph.  No problem.  Anyway, this guy pulls up behind me decides to
pass on the left.  He's not going a whole lot faster than me, but he
decides to pass anyway.  Then some yahoo in a semi crests the hill
behind me doing about 50.  He sees that he's about to plow into my
*ss-end, so he pulls into the left lane only to realize that he's also
going much faster than the guy that just passed.  So the truck driver
hits his brakes and the trailer starts to fish-tail in my direction.  I
look to my left and see the reflection of Laura's van getting larger and
larger in his wheel hubs, so I start easing off to the right.

Well, as soon as my left front tire hits the plowed snow, it sticks and
I do a 180 down the (mild) embankment.  I slid backwards about 50 yards
to a stop--no damage to the van or me except for a bonk on the head from
a copy of "Gray's Anatomy" that I was supposed to return to the library
(I'd looked for that book for days).

I get out of the van to asses the situation and realize that she's stuck
good and tight in about 12" of snow, so I get the shovel, boots, hat,
gloves and Carhartt coveralls out of the back (carry a "winter driving
survival kit"--it does come in handy).  It doesn't take long for a
41-year-old crip to realize the insanity of his labor, so I pop the hood
, put on the flashers and wait for the Highway Patrol to come by and
call a tow truck.  Oh, yes, and issue the obligatory "failure to
control" citation, as well.

About that time, some young Good Samaritan in a brand new Mustang pulls
up and offers assistance.  Says he works at Scotts Lawn Care (the
fertilizer factory) and offers a ride.  Just so happens that I live off
Scottslawn Road (known locally as Bhopal road, to you insiders.  We're
just waiting for them to build a diesel fuel refinery next door...then
we'll have some REAL fun!), so I take him up on his kind offer.

Ever notice how teens think they're immortal?  Well, either this kid
thought he couldn't die, or else he wanted to--real bad.  I'm not sure.
Anyway, we make it (miraculously)about 8 miles only to end up in the
median about two miles from home.  At that point I decide that it's
safer to hoof the two miles home than risk another lift, so I start my
cross-country trek in the freezing rain (no small feat for a gimper in a
foot of snow with 2" ice on top.  Believe me, it tears hell out of your
shins when you break through.

When I got home I had to wait five minutes or so for Laura to quit
laughing as I was covered in about 1/2" solid ice.

I called my home builder neighbor with his "monster truck" and we set
out to recover the van.  Pulling it out was no problem, but since it was
pointed south on the northbound freeway we were in a quandry as to how
we were going to turn it about in busy traffic.  Gary (the neighbor)
said that he thought he could swap ends pretty quickly if I got in his
truck, turned on the flashing lights and blocked traffic.  I jumped at
the chance to drive his truck, given my redneck heritage.

He was successful at extricating the van. However, he managed to repeat
the "ditching" another 2 miles up the road.  Again, fortunately, there
was no damage to either van or driver and we simply repeated the earlier
process.

Paitiently awaiting spring,

-Kyle