I guess it's typical of abusive situations (unfortunately), but when they're
at church together as a family, everybody thinks he is a kind guy helping
his wife anyway he can, but when they're out of the church environment, his
whole attitude changes.  But at church, you can typically get volunteers to
help you at home, which is something he wants because he doesn't want to do
anything for his wife.  

This gal Also has a personal attendant coming in, and once she requested her
attendant to build up their couch, to make it easier for her to get on and
off, the attendant did, and it was a fairly cheap and simple modification to
do, but the husband threw a fit and refused to sit on the couch, and
actually called the cops on this attendant for trying to do this.  This
attendant is a RN, and has a license to protect, and didn't want this to go
on her record.  The positive thing was the cops were very understanding to
why the gal needed the couch built up, so they did nothing besides just
logged the call.  This attitude is very foreign for me, I have always been
surrounded by people who always have not only accepted but shown some
interest in my wheelchair and other assistive technology devices that assist
me with my daily life.  

Thanks, 
Anthony 
Visit my website at www.anthonyarnold.net
-----Original Message-----
From: Cerebral Palsy List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of
ken barber
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 11:50 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Fwd: Marriage

it is definatly abuse. you need to get the woman and
child some help. i wish i could say that a prist would
be the way to go, but, i know from experience that
some religous leaders will not step up and do the
right thing, many times they take the "see no evil..."
approach. if the priest does not get her some help,
then you go somewhere else to get it. 

--- Kathleen Salkin <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> Mag's right, I'd see this as spousal abuse, not as a
> guy that has got  
> problems with his wife's disability.  I think you
> ought to talk to  
> their priest and see what he says.  If not their
> parish priest, then  
> another priest.  Unless he is very conservative on
> such matters, the  
> priest should be willing to talk them about this
> situation.
> 
> Maybe the husband has a drinking problem, or even
> worse, a meth habit  
> (all too common these days, I fear).  Thus, it's
> imperative that an  
> experienced person get in there and evaluate the
> situation.  Think in  
> terms of saving that lovely child from harm as well
> as her mother.
> 
> I think the clergy has a moral, if not legal
> responsibility to report  
> it to the authorities if he sees that this is a
> dangerous situation  
> for the woman and her child.  But something does
> need to be done.   
> Too many women die or become severely disabled at
> the hands of  
> abusive men.
> 
> 
> Kat
> 
> On 27 Feb 2006, at 02:34, Magenta Raine wrote:
> >
> > There are many resources for able bodied
> marriages,  you can look on
> > Amazon.com for ideas for books. Contact Easter
> seals, sometimes  
> > they have
> > support groups for married folks with
> disabilities. also look for  
> > books
> > that help women have better self esteem.
> 


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