Kathy,

I'm praying for you and your family, and I'm praising God for the peace
that you all are experiencing right now. I'm also praying for Chris and
those who are counseling him.

Kathy, you and Greg are very loving! <squeeze>

Love and Blessings,
Pat Ferguson


At 02:40 PM 2/12/05, you wrote:
>Hi guys,
>         Well, it is a quiet, peaceful Saturday afternoon.  Caleb and Liz are
>quietly occupied and Greg is still delivering mail, after a snow storm that
>dumped two feet on Bangor, Thursday and Friday.  The kids had two snow days
>in a row!  Wow!  Anyway, I thought that I would take advantage of the lull
>to catch you up on how things stand with us and Chris.
>         Chris has been in Cromwell now for ten days.  According to the
> therapist,
>the only time  that they  see bad behavior is when he has contact with
>us.  Now, to us, Chris complains about a lot of stuff, but, as is his
>pattern, he won't air any of this to them.  Anyway, Chris will be seeing a
>psychiatrist this Monday to see if he can make a diagnosis.  Right now, the
>therapist is suspecting, reactive rather than clenical depression.  She has
>also observed , that while Chris has no problem living under the
>established rules that are already set in place there, he is bent on
>breaking the rules that we have in our home.  She really has her doubts
>about whether it is a reasonable expectation at all, that Chris can come
>home after another 35 days and have us make it as a unit until he turns 18,
>which will be in 262 days, and counting.  I've always wondered what would
>happen after this time, and it looks like a huge question mark is hanging
>over our heads at present.  He was only supposed to be down there for an
>evaluation and assessment, so a longer stay would be asking for miracles.
>         I cannot believe the big difference in me after ten days of
> freedom from
>stress.  The change is almost night and day.  It's almost like Greg and I
>are on a second honeymoon.  We also really enjoy being with Caleb and Liz
>and, to be truthful, I think that we are all enjoying  having the elephant
>removed from the living room, so to speak.    After four years of being
>told how awful I am and how everything is my fault, I have been reminded in
>these past ten days of two things.  I'm not a bad person and I'm not a bad
>parent.  Also, after feeling so well and seeing how easily Chris can still
>jerk me around with his short, rude phone calls, I see clearly now how
>oppressed I've been without even knowing it.  Well, that isn't quite
>accurate.  I knew it, but since it had been growing gradually, I didn't
>realize how bad it was until he was out of the house.
>         His phone calls are cruel.  He can call us in the evening from the
>unit.  We have also had two therapy sessions with him via phone.  Last
>week, at the first session, he walked out in the middle of it and
>yesterday, when he didn't like something that either Greg or I said, I
>can't remember which, he reached over and hung up on us.  The therapist
>made him call us back.  That was interesting.
>         Chris needs to get to the root of his anger, but he just keeps
> pushing it
>away.  He refuses to hear any of the good things that I say about him.  The
>therapist saw that very clearly as well yesterday.  He believes so many
>lies about himself and us that it is staggering.  Maybe you guys should
>start praying that I can sweet talk him into talking to  Phil.  But then,
>Phil wants to talk to me too, so maybe there are more cans of worms there
>than I can deal with, yet, at present.  GRIN!
>         Anyway, I think that you guys are caught up now, for the most
> part.  I'll
>be sure to let you know if we learn anything after Monday.  Please keep
>praying for a break through and please pray for something to open up as far
>as what to do with him when this time of evaluation is over.
>God bless,
>Kathy
>Always, for His glory