Well, after three children, the only thing I really learned is that all
three kids had to be raised differently in a manner of speaking.  I had the
same rules for all them and yes, when I became suspicious of what they had,
or didn't have, I searched their rooms.  I found very interesting things,
too.  When I found things they should have, I showed them to them and of
course they generally lied and said it was a friends.  I told them to give
it back to their friends and then in a week, I searched again.  One case,
for example, when I found the same heavy metal rock music tapes, I took my
trusty little hammer, laid them on the floor, and broke them into a million
little pieces; stringing the tape out all over.  It was sort of fun.  In
Gretchen's case, I often found cigarettes.  I finally would take them and
tear them up and sprinkle the tobacco and the little papers and filter all
over her bed.  My oldest son I stopped spanking when he was 15.  That was
his last spanking I mean.  My daughter was about that age and Everett, the
youngest, who gave us the least amount of trouble because he said he didn't
want to grow up and live like his older brother or sister, I stopped
spanking when he was twelve.  Besides, by then, he was as big as I was.
None of the kids became destructive but they did become threatening which is
just as bad in my book.  I let both my boys know that I might die of a heart
attack but if they ever wanted to take me on, they would know, when it was
over and I was dead, that they had been in a fight, a real fight, with their
old man.  I won many wrestling matches when I was young, not because I was
bigger, in fact, half the time, they were twice my size, but I won because I
learned it doesn't take as much strength to hold someone if you get the
right lock on them.  Like I said, I probably would have died from a heart
attack but they would have had the privilege of telling their children one
day, yeah, my old man was blind and over weight but he broke my arm and
cracked some ribs of mine once when I pushed him too far and tried to beat
him up.  The Lord told me awhile back that when dealing with certain types
of people, it was time to fight fire with fire.  I never had to call the
police, fortunately, but all three of my kids were scared of me and not
because I beat them.  They were afraid of me because they knew I didn't lie
when it came to the discipline part.  I made a lot of mistakes, too.
Bunches of mistakes, come to think of it.  Parental personalities are all
different, too.  My personality is such that if one of my kids would have
started breaking things, which I hear of commonly, I would have first
subdued them and tossed them out the nearest door or window, opened or not.
Another cool method is to return the favor and go down and start breaking
their things of value.  Now?  I'd probably just call the cops and forget
about it.  I did go and register Gretchen twice as a run away.  If I could
see to follow her around now, I would likely enjoy meeting her boys friends,
and possibly girlfriends, and give them some very direct personal advice in
language they understood.  Frankly, I am tired of the devil getting a hold
of our children.  We never called the police because of the many cases of
Christians right here in Denver who had their children taken away and put
into foster care for months because they spanked; leaving no marks.  Once, a
man in our church, turned in a drug house across the street and the cops
shut it down.  They in turn, turned him in for child abuse and they came and
took his children and he didn't even spank his kids.  They found one bruise
on one of the kid's bottoms which she admitted she got while sledding in the
snow when she hit a big bump.  This was confirmed by two doctors.  A friend
of mine is a lawyer here in Denver.  I had him research this at the law
library because I did not believe it was true.  It is true in the state of
Colorado.  Your neighbor, or someone from out of state, or someone living
overseas, can turn you in anonymously for child abuse and they never have to
identify themselves, sign any paper, or even show up in court to testify
against you.  We know a lady whose husband was killed in an accident and
after his death, a woman in the church turned his wife in for not being a
good enough mother and they took her son for months until she could prove
otherwise.  So when I spanked our kids, I took them to the center of the
house, if windows were opened, I closed them, and I used a dowel stick that
was thin enough it would break if it was swung too hard and thick enough to
be felt.  I never swatted their bare skin either.  So, what have I learned
about disciplining older children, not much other than, I am glad I don't
have teenagers any longer.

Phil.