Hey, Carol

I know you and probably most other folks on the list want to beat me for still whining on this subject so I promise this will be my last note on it, at least publicly.  If anyone wants to comment privately I'll be glad to respond but don't want anyone else getting sick over the holidays because of me.  Smile.

If you remember, a while back I asked whether it's Scriptural to seek a wife.  It seemed to be to me, but then as others noted there are Scriptures that say to not seek a wife and be satisfied in whatever state you find yourself.  Most of the list responses seemed to say not to seek (use dating services, etc.) but wait for it to happen.  A year ago that would have been no problem.  But since waking up from a 3-day coma last year I've felt old and depressed as if there is no more open horizon as I'd thought.  (I really had this thing in my head that the LORD would keep me around until the Rapture.)  Now I don't know what I think.  So I haven't been actively seeking and haven't been taking up any of the offers that have come my way.

Bottom line is that I had an "I know that I know" the LORD would provide before, and that I had a while to let the process work.  Since last year I've been grieving the loss of the possibility of finding my True Love, Besherta as they say in Hebrew, Soul Mate.  As you can tell from my notes it's not fully resolved yet, but I'm getting there.  And I know now that I've got to trust myself more instead of saying "Well, I won't even try because she's not my ideal" and give those who are interested a chance where I was afraid before of getting involved with the wrong one and hurting them or myself or dishonoring the LORD.  In other words, I was trying to guess the road conditions miles and miles away while still in my cocoon of a house.

So I'll keep on keeping on and keep my whining to myself.  Meanwhile I'll keep open to what comes instead of being too quick to judge them or myself before even giving myself or them a chance.  Smile.

Paul

-----Original Message-----
From: carol pearson <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Dec 17, 2003 6:37 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: GOD Puts the Lonely In Families

Brother Paul,

<SMILE>

I'm writing again on this and want you to know how much I love you and my
heart goes out right now because I know the pain you feel on this one!

Now, two things that come to my mind today - and these are different from
the last time, so please read to the end . . ..

First, remember that you're now in the "family of God" and this is a
wonderful thing!  You have a new Heavenly Father and lots of us brothers and
sisters - and we're all going to tell you a pack of little fibs about how
much chocolate we eat, so you may as well get used to us!  <GRINS>

Do make the best of all your Christian family because we're there to share
with you and to support you too when needed.

The other thing may cause you to hold up your hands in horror screaming
"I've done that", or you may want to think some more on it.  So far as many
of us are concerned, it's the man who does the "going and getting" and the
woman just "waits to be asked"!  Now, you "go getter", what are you doing
about finding yourself a "sweetie"?  You have to ask her out, talk with her,
be friends first and all that!  If she's not in your church, what are doing
there all the time and not going to other Christian events/churches to look
for her?

I do fully understand (more than you think) how hard you may think this to
be;  but not everyone is looking on the outward (praise God) and you really
do just have to be "full of the Spirit" and those who are like-minded will
be attracted!  Of course, those who love chocolate may also be attracted, so
long as you share it with them!  <SMILE>

Finally, I'm praying again . . . because nothing has worked so far and we
have to get you through this one somehow or other - and we will!

In Him:


--
Carol



----- Original Message -----
From: "lion ofgod" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2003 2:26 PM
Subject: GOD Puts the Lonely In Families


> Hey, Matt
>
> I think you hit on exactly what my obsession about a sweetie is all about.
Mine was a very dysfunctional family as they say.  A lot of nasty stuff
growing up which my brothers and sisters have never come to grips with and
I'm the one who tells the truth, so between that and being a Christian, a
totally different creature from them, they want nothing to do with me.  Add
to that they cheated me out of my mother's inheritance (which she only left
out of guilt, but that's another long story.  Smile.)  Anyway, my point is
that yes, the LORD lets folks marry so we can form families of our own, as
you say.  As Scripture says, He puts the lonely in families.  That's what
I'm hoping (there that word is again) for, but it's not happening.
>
> For those of you who will encourage me to make amends with my family, I've
tried, it's not from my side.  We're told "as much as is in your power" to
be at peace with others, but sometimes it's beyond your power and the toxic
nature of their lives is too poisonous an atmosphere to be in.
>
> Paul
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Matt <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Dec 16, 2003 10:25 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: job maybe?
>
> It is depressing when people don't welcome us as we expect they will.
> However, it is comforting to note that we marry to form our own family and
> that as soon as we do marry everyone else, including our parents,
> grandparents, brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles and
> grandparents immediately take a backseat in priority.
> TV and such has perverted the idea of marage.  It used to be put across
that
> when a wife takes a husband, she is like a child who in her weakness has
to
> train under her mother-in-law to learn how to serve her husband or
something
> like that.
> My wife tried this approach and found a poor sorce of information in my
> mother.  hahahahahaha
> Likewise, I could not have learned the things needed for me to know from
> Terri's family in how to care for her as they had screwed up relationships
> as well.
> The men in her family more or less told me that marage is hell and you
just
> have to deal with a life of unhappyness as that was what they were doing
and
> the women just tried to manipulate me and/or teach Terri how to manipulate
> me to get what they wanted from us and for Terri.
> This is why the bible says that you leave your families and cleave
together.
> Well enough preaching from a father who has a screamming child just now.
> Instituting a new 9 o'clock bedtime with bottle until asleep and then
taken
> away as not to rot the teeth so that maybe we can work on this sanity and
> marage thing.
>
> Matt
>