Hi Trish,

Oh No! Just typed a reply to this in my personal "inbox", now I find
it on the list, but it's subtly different so I can't just "cut &
paste", so I'll just deal with a few points which might (at a
stretch!) be of interest to the list.


On Tuesday 04 Jun 2002 2:21 pm, Trisha Cummings wrote:
> Hi Deri,
>
>        You have such a way with words!! I love it.
>
> > You're on a lot firmer ground here, questioning both my
> > intelligence and my sanity, has got to be a win/win everytime.
> > ;-)
>
>          I think your sanity if fine - I think maybe its benchmark
> for what sanity should be!! Can you loan me some? LOL
>
> > Still I do find it a little worrisome that your admitted
> > intention was to blacken someone's name privately, off list.
>
>         Well, as I said I thought I was only talking Kyle.  If the
> truth blackens someone - maybe they should watch their actions. It
> would be one thing if I were lying trying to make trouble. But I
> speak the truth. You can go back thru the e-mails - and see what
> she has said about her friends and family and forcing her to do
> things and how she drops them. Mind you I am one of those people
> who "forced" her to do things. The whole way we met was over her
> interest in Paganism and then she has the gall to say I forced
> her..... NOT. I was glad she had her church and church friends and
> got out of the house. While I have little patience with
> fundemetalism, I have no problem with religions in general. She was
> the first person to jump on the bandwagon agianst Christians when
> we got to together..... just as she jumps on the bandwagon against
> "TABS"....I am sorry if the truth is ugly.
>
>          I upset people becasue they take my devil advocate
> position as a serious put down to them rather than a simple example
> of things from a different perspective. Just like Kyle got upset
> about the finanacial way I showed child support. It wasn't against
> him - it was another to look at it. People tend to think if you
> aren't with them you are against when you may truly not give damn
> one way or the other. Someone decided after I wrote something I
> wasn't sympathic to disabled folks why becasue I put out a
> different view. Which amuses me - I have a disabled child, disabled
> boss, disabled students, disabled friends, other disabled family
> and disabled customers as well being disabled myself. I am one who
> caught herself wondering what was wrong with that child becasue it
> was normal.
>
>         I have full sympathy for people but I do have a pet peeve
> about whining about it. I do remember way back - someone else
> asking someone if they wanted a little cheese with their whine.
> This list is a click and mostly its the Kyle, Ken and Bobby hour -
> some one off list told me this was the most content free list they
> had ever seen, and they went away without ever asking for help with
> the problem they had, since they had CP and came here for help with
> a CP related problem - I am afraid that their leaving says
> something about the value of the list and your ability to make
> people feel excluded becasue they don't fit in your groupthink
> mode.
>
>         How much flack did I get after someone new with a baby ask
> what is CP and I made a educational note about with links. How
> about the mentioning the parenting and people got miffed - so ....

I have just re-read all your posts since rejoining, this one
isn't among them, so either this happened on another list or your
talking about something from 2 years ago!!!

> CP people don't have kids .... don't needs hints on
> parenting....... Jennifer of the new baby may disagree. I was
> amused when someone told me - finally the list was showing some
> promise of what a great resource it could be. Basically what you
> have here is a homogenous chat group and you police it to make sure
> it satys that way. You worry about society sticking you in a cocoon
> becasue you are disabled - yet you place yourself in a nice safe
> cocoon on the list, lets not talk about contraversal stuff - but
> you know - disbility is an equal oppurunity enitity so all
> intelligence levels, religions, social strata's, and physical
> abilities are represented as well as a million opinions and view
> points.
>

I am really upset by this. To suggest I "police" the list is
insulting, I have, on probably far too many occasions, expressed the
hope that the list is self regulating, that there are no "rules" on
what is or isn't allowed on this list. The last time I posted on this
subject was 26th March 2002 (yes, you had rejoined by then) when
there was a discussion on "Question - Mature Topic". I apologise for
boring everyone again, but I quote 2 paras:


From:   Deri James <[log in to unmask]>
To:             "St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List"
<[log in to unmask]>
Date:           Tue, 26 Mar 2002 22:12:05 +0000

This list has always been self-censoring, I think that works well. It
has no strict guidelines or rules, that doesn't necessarily lead to
anarchy since there is a reliance on everyones good nature to play
nice. The problem with setting down "rules" is that someone may ask a
very interesting question, and someone else says "but that's against
the rules", the discussion then centres on interpretation of the
rules rather than giving useful answers to the questioner. Rules also
have a nasty habit of multiplying (how many amendments to the
constitution you got now!), so there may be 1 broad well thought out
Rule - someone will undoubtedly want to improve it!!! (Bear in mind
this is Deri "the Nihilist" broadcasting from a country with an
"unwritten" constitution!!). If there is a post which you disagree
with, argue with them, but be prepared for others to argue
with you as well.

So without rules, no subject is "taboo", but I think you'll find that
if "coarse" or "hurtful" language is used, quite a lot of people will
be arguing against it.

================================================

Trisha, which part of this is unclear. Which part of this leads you to
assign me "police" powers. I am just doing what I preach, I found
your carping against a previous list member ungenerous and
distasteful, so I told you what I thought (not as a List Admin - but
as a recipient of your post).

>         I need to have access to a varity of information for Amber
> and my students. I also know and acknowlegde that just becasue
> someone is disabled doesn't mean they walk on water - last summer
> my Access class had 3 disabled students, the most severely affected
> one worked harder than the one with a only a vision problem - who
> spend all his time not coming to class and leaving the
> responisibility of his work on all of us making an exception for
> him. okay end of lengthy typying session - and I hate typing!!!.
>
>                                 Trisha
>

Cheers

Deri