Trish,
This list is like 99.9 percent of the groups I've belonged to in my life, and the main characteristic is that a small number of members are participants and the large majority is silent. The C-PALSY list is no exception. But that's OK. It's the normal dynamics of a group, and as long as there's not a large exodus of members, (Deri can verify this), I don't see us as doing anything wrong. I don't see anything wrong with us chatting or being silly.
Kat
On Tue, 4 Jun 2002 14:06:04 -0400 "Barber, Kenneth L." <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
for the 304 people who are on the list and do not comment, who can push
their reply button? i am sure i am one of the 25 that is heard from. i am
the only person who clicks my reply key. i can't help it if 279 do not
comment. bobby can not make the other 279 people reply, kyle and deri can't
do a mass reply button on everyones computer. i do not know how many could
have replied to your post. those that could, i do not know why they chose
not to. i do not know if it is "don't know, don't care, or what."
i normally read your post several times thinking about wherther or not i
can constuctivly reply. i have became involed enough to send gifts to cp
children of some of the parents on this last. i have cared enough to send
gifts to others that expressed that the wasnted something and i just
happened to be able to aquire. you mentioned that you liked stamps one time
when i mentioned that i collected coins, i have never sent you a stamp but,
truefully i have saw stamps for sale and wondered if they would fit in your
interest. i do care. i do not take anybody on this list lightly.
now, don't all you others on the list start sending me mail telling me
what you want for your gift just because i have said this. :-}
-----Original Message-----
From: Trisha Cummings [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Tuesday, June 04, 2002 1:29 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: current events
Hi Ken,
I know you weren't ignoring me, and I know that not everyone will have a
comment all the time. One kind of assumes tho someone must have an car
that's adapted and have experiences to share. No, You, Bobby and Kyle are
higher functioning than Amber in that respect - but you may know someone.
There maybe 304 people on the list but the same say 25 are usually the ones
heard from - I don't response ro jokes - for the same reason you don't
responde to stuff you have no answer for - altho many times like the car
question they become offshoot topics you do know something about.
Trisha
> you know, trisha, i read your request for info on adapting a car for cp. i
> do not know about bobby and kyle, but, i have never had to adapt a car for
> cp. i actually learned to drive a straight shift car with not even a knob
> on
> the steering wheel. should i comment on something that i know nothing
> about? there are questions that do come up that i do not attempt to reply
> to, because i have no experience at all to constuctivly reply. i assume
> when
> those questions come up that those who know how to answer, will. would you
> prefer that each and every one of us that don't have an answer, post a
> message that says. "gee, i don't know how to reply to that?" we could have
> hundreds of messages saying basically. "i don't know."
> i guess the person would at least know that a hundred of us do not know,
> but
> then again, i would assume that someone who has been on the list for a
> length of time would know that we do not try to fake an answer if we do
> not
> have one. you got an answer from one person who knew how to answer from
> deri. i would think that was better than serveral from kyle, bobby, and i
> saying "gee, trisha, i'm sorry, i do not know."
> i will comment on one thing i can comment on, imho you can adapt a used
> car as cheaply as you can a new one. so a parent with a tight budget does
> not have to buy a teen a new car. it is not wrong to do that, but, it is
> not
> a "have to."
> it is not even a "have to" for a teen to have a license to drive only
> because the reach the age that one is lawfully allowed for. sara got her
> license at 18. she was not ready at 16. benjamin will have to mature
> hugely
> in the next few months or he will not be ready to hold the weapon that is
> an
> automobile in his hands.
> not good english, but, i am not ignoring you.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Trisha Cummings [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: Tuesday, June 04, 2002 12:54 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: current events
>
>
> Hi Kat,
>
> I don't have problem with it either as long as
> its
> not to the exclusion of others things. And off topic discussions are fine
> -
> the problem is when we don't discuss the CP stuff enough - I was talking
> about needing to adapt the car for Amber - only Deri actaully me anything
> useful and the rest was all "car" talk. I have in the past seen where
> people
> have said - I hate to break in the all social stuff but I have serious
> question. The person who left - did stick around for while and a
> discussion
> we had on the list let them know the questions wouldn't be welcome - even
> tho the population and the question where relavant. People should be
> comforatble doing both and not feel their questions are an imposition. I
> never saw where my adding informational topics on anything including
> parenting was any harm. Somewhere along the line - I got the mistaken idea
> that C-Palsy was hosted by St John's as a serious list to help people with
> problems and research have a forum where they could go , and not a chat
> group like you have on Yahoo.
>
>
> Trisha
>
>
> > I have no problem with Kyle, Bobby, and Ken doing their thing, it
> provides
> > me with a lot of amusement, and frankly, I think it's cool. Sorry if
> you
> > don't like it, but I'm glad we allow off-topic discussions here. It'd
> be
> > awfully dull if we didn't. And if that person had stuck around he or
> she
> > would have discovered we do talk about CP. They didn't give us a
> chance,
> > that's all.
> >
> > As for religion, I'm not crazy about paganism or fundamentalism.
> However
> > I'm willing to learn as long as I'm not preached to.
> >
> > Kat
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > On Tue, 4 Jun 2002 09:21:00 -0400 Trisha Cummings <[log in to unmask]>
> > wrote:
> >
> > Hi Deri,
> >
> > You have such a way with words!! I love it.
> >
> > > You're on a lot firmer ground here, questioning both my intelligence
> > > and my sanity, has got to be a win/win everytime. ;-)
> > >
> > I think your sanity if fine - I think maybe its benchmark for
> > what
> > sanity should be!! Can you loan me some? LOL
> >
> > > Still I do find it a little worrisome that your admitted intention was
> > > to blacken someone's name privately, off list.
> > >
> > Well, as I said I thought I was only talking Kyle. If the truth
> > blackens someone - maybe they should watch their actions. It would be
> one
> > thing if I were lying trying to make trouble. But I speak the truth. You
> > can
> > go back thru the e-mails - and see what she has said about her friends
> and
> > family and forcing her to do things and how she drops them. Mind you I
> am
> > one of those people who "forced" her to do things. The whole way we met
> > was
> > over her interest in Paganism and then she has the gall to say I forced
> > her..... NOT. I was glad she had her church and church friends and got
> out
> > of the house. While I have little patience with fundemetalism, I have
> no
> > problem with religions in general. She was the first person to jump on
> the
> > bandwagon agianst Christians when we got to together..... just as she
> > jumps
> > on the bandwagon against "TABS"....I am sorry if the truth is ugly.
> >
> > I upset people becasue they take my devil advocate position as
> a
> > serious put down to them rather than a simple example of things from a
> > different perspective. Just like Kyle got upset about the finanacial way
> I
> > showed child support. It wasn't against him - it was another to look at
> > it.
> > People tend to think if you aren't with them you are against when you
> may
> > truly not give damn one way or the other. Someone decided after I wrote
> > something I wasn't sympathic to disabled folks why becasue I put out a
> > different view. Which amuses me - I have a disabled child, disabled
> boss,
> > disabled students, disabled friends, other disabled family and disabled
> > customers as well being disabled myself. I am one who caught herself
> > wondering what was wrong with that child becasue it was normal.
> >
> > I have full sympathy for people but I do have a pet peeve about
> > whining about it. I do remember way back - someone else asking someone
> if
> > they wanted a little cheese with their whine. This list is a click and
> > mostly its the Kyle, Ken and Bobby hour - some one off list told me this
> > was
> > the most content free list they had ever seen, and they went away
> without
> > ever asking for help with the problem they had, since they had CP and
> came
> > here for help with a CP related problem - I am afraid that their leaving
> > says something about the value of the list and your ability to make
> people
> > feel excluded becasue they don't fit in your groupthink mode.
> >
> > How much flack did I get after someone new with a baby ask what
> is
> > CP and I made a educational note about with links. How about the
> > mentioning
> > the parenting and people got miffed - so .... CP people don't have kids
> > ....
> > don't needs hints on parenting....... Jennifer of the new baby may
> > disagree.
> > I was amused when someone told me - finally the list was showing some
> > promise of what a great resource it could be. Basically what you have
> here
> > is a homogenous chat group and you police it to make sure it satys that
> > way.
> > You worry about society sticking you in a cocoon becasue you are
> disabled
> > -
> > yet you place yourself in a nice safe cocoon on the list, lets not talk
> > about contraversal stuff - but you know - disbility is an equal
> oppurunity
> > enitity so all intelligence levels, religions, social strata's, and
> > physical
> > abilities are represented as well as a million opinions and view points.
> >
> > I need to have access to a varity of information for Amber and
> my
> > students. I also know and acknowlegde that just becasue someone is
> > disabled
> > doesn't mean they walk on water - last summer my Access class had 3
> > disabled
> > students, the most severely affected one worked harder than the one with
> a
> > only a vision problem - who spend all his time not coming to class and
> > leaving the responisibility of his work on all of us making an exception
> > for
> > him. okay end of lengthy typying session - and I hate typing!!!.
> >
> > Trisha
> >
> > > You're on a lot firmer ground here, questioning both my intelligence
> > > and my sanity, has got to be a win/win everytime. ;-)
> > >
> > > Still I do find it a little worrisome that your admitted intention was
> > > to blacken someone's name privately, off list.
> > >
> > > Cheers
> > >
> > > Deri (not black, just a v. dark charcoal) :-)
> > >
> > > On Monday 03 Jun 2002 9:52 pm, Trisha Cummings wrote:
> > > > Deri,
> > > >
> > > > As I said, I thought that was only going to Kyle. Otherwise I
> > > > wouldn't have mentioned Betty. And frankly, I don't have blacken
> > > > her name - simple because one is popluar doesn't mean one can't be
> > > > underhanded and two faced - in fact if you look at politicans you
> > > > will realize its the satus quo. She certainly can be charming - and
> > > > fun - I just don't want to ever trust her again or be her friend -
> > > > you guys go right ahead. Its easy to be a bs'er via the computer
> > > > you never have face anyone - its tougher face to face. Besides all
> > > > her rants about people forcing her to do things and her dropping
> > > > the people are on the list - you guys should be bright enough to
> > > > put 2 and 2 together - no one has everyone in their life being a
> > > > total shit. And if they do maybe they need to look at themselves.
> > > >
> > > > Trisha
> > > >
> > > > > I don't think many people are going to be convinced by your
> > > > > repeated attempts (this is the second I've seen) to blacken the
> > > > > name of someone as popular on the list as Betty.
> > > > >
> > > > > I do agree about people not being black & white, its just the hue
> > > > > of grey which is so variable. ;-)
> > > > >
> > > > > Cheers
> > > > >
> > > > > Deri
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