Ah well, in Ohio, "Tender Years Doctrine" is the standard, meaning that a
child under age twelve will remain with Mom at all costs, unless Mom is
committed or in jail. I didn't see the advantage in putting Adrienne
through the trauma of not seeing her Mom--my options were that 1) she remain
the residential parent or 2) I press charges that she had raped her sixteen
year old boyfriend in order to have her committed.
So, I paid my child support, purchased every stitch of clothes the kid ever
wore and bought groceries for her every week. I am upset that the states
mandate support, but do nothing to ensure the money is being spent on the
child. So, I was paying $550/month in support while Adrienne was in her
mom's home. I will now be paying $1100/month for her to attend a private
liberal arts college near Philly (actually, the tuition is $26K/yr--she has
an academic scholarship for the other $13K). My joy is based that my ex can
no longer live off her daughter's child support (and will have to rely on
the support from the other fathers whose children she bore). Yes, one can
actually live a rather comfortable life living off of one's children.
But, I am a man, therefore I am suspect from the beginning, right Trisha?
Possibly you don't remember situations that were discussed prior to your
timely hiatus from the list?
If you are wanting to "pick a fight", let me know now. I will not fight
you, nor will I respond to any more of your posts, public or private.
-----Original Message-----
From: Barber, Kenneth L. [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 11:35 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: current events
i would guess that all the states have a formula. i know alabama has an
amount and it is figured on the % of total income of both pasrents what is
actually paid. the one that makes more pays more of the expense. although
nenjamin stayed with me, i got nothing from his mom even though i could
have. i am happy to have raised my child. he don't even remember her. judy
is mom.
-----Original Message-----
From: Trisha Cummings [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 11:27 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: current events
I wasn't commenting on that - the child support portion was what I was
commenting on - and the states involvement in the amount - depending on the
amount of the child support and the years he paid it and the amount of
college donation - he could be paying the same amount both ways. Would he
have paid more or less if it was voluntary? The state the amount - don't
know how - Virginia has 600 limit and that is divided between the two
incomes - by the percentage you put in. He will have paid - $36,000 in
child support ( over 12 years) and he has no intention of helping with
college or helping buy a car. In the mean time - I have put out - $65,000,
and that doesn't count - the cost of her medical care - like insurance -
which I carry and the co-pays and left over balances, nor the up and coming
college amount of ?????? - nor the $15,000 for new car. I truly don't
begudge him his money - okay so he has new Honda motorcycle and a new car
and new digital camera nad computer and other stuff - I do begudge him the
extra time I am away from Amber - so we can live. He spends no time with
Amber, never calls her and until recently spazed out with the child support
- the kid had no money and lost mom time. The kids want me home. When Jackie
was living there - she waitress part-time and gave me money so I could stay
home with them. The kids need us and our presence, and child support can
help with that. We only have kids for such a short time, shouldn't at least
be with them then?
Trisha
> i think kyle has already said he intends to continue with money for
> college
> voluntarily.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Trisha Cummings [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 10:53 AM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: current events
>
>
> I don't see what the difference is - one should voluntarily pay for one
> kids
> - you do for the ones that live with - infact if you consider how much the
> cost per month - child support usually looks piddly next it - I get $250 a
> month Amber, and put out at least $700. I get nothing for Alex and put out
> the same amount. I arrive at this by dividing the house, utilities and
> food
> by three - then adding individual costs. Imagine the mess I would be in if
> I
> didn't work 3 jobs. And this says nothing about the time spent running
> them
> around and vacations etc. Why does it matter that the state set limit? If
> you checked out the number kids who never get child support like Alex,
> perhaps you would understand the necessity for state set limits. The sad
> truth is many people value money over people. Hate your ex-wife by all
> means
> but don't begrudge you child your support - finanacially or emotionally.
> It
> is not the child fault.
>
> Trisha
>
>
> > Biggest raise I've ever had in my life, but college starts this fall
> > <sigh>.
> > Oh well, at least it's Dad's decision to open his wallst, and not the
> > State
> > doing it for him!
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BG Greer, PhD [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> > Sent: Monday, June 03, 2002 10:19 AM
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: current events
> >
> >
> > In a message dated 6/3/02 8:13:33 AM, [log in to unmask] writes:
> >
> > >eh, congratsa kyle...
> >
> > Me too, Kyle. Now you, Laura and the kids will have more "cheese" to go
> > around.
> >
> > Bobby
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