> Having worked with people who are dealing with addicts in their life, I
would advise you to put your focus on what you need to be eating, on food
preparation for your own health and feed him what he asks for.
>
> He is not asking for anything illegal or immoral, it is cheap, easy to
prepare and he needs to gain weight and is willing to eat it.
>
> It is your job to control what you eat, not what he eats, regardless of
how much you love him, no matter how right you think you are.
>
> If he is dealing with significant medical issues, he may be dying and it
may be too late to heal it through good diet.  If that is the case do you
want the last weeks and months you spend with him to be a battleground?
>
> If he is not dying, then this diet will not kill him overnight either, he
may have time to come around to eating a better diet by watching the
benefits to you over time.  But you can't argue, plead or reason an addict
into changing and the effort just wastes your inner peace and progress in
your own life and way of eating.

My mother just stayed with us. She can barely walk due to crippling
arthritis. Her legs are atrophying although she goes to the gym every day. I
would imagine she will be wheel-chair bound within a year or two. She has
had a heart attack and takes medication (certainly statins along with other
things the docs prescribe.) She is quite overweight and has all kinds of
auto-immune problems including skin problems and on and on. Type 2 diabetes
and heart disease run in her family.

I am lifting weights, and in excellent health, weigh 185 or so at a little
over six feet tall.

My mother eats barely any meat or protein. She eats franken-fats that are
supposed to be "heart healthy", and eats very low fat, high carb, barely any
vegetables. Bread and fake butter for breakfast, lots of orange juice,
oranges, bagels, etc. etc.

The punch line is that she lectured me on my terrible diet.

I have given up trying to tell her that she is killing herself with all the
processed food, grains, lack of protein, high carbs. I simply do not argue
and do not try to influence her.

Heck, I have given up with my own kids, 11 and 12. I set an example for them
and that is the best I can do. With my kids, I think I have some influence
over a period of time but I can't stop them from eating cereal, drinking
sodas, and so on. We don't buy soda or have it in the house but when they go
out, guess what they drink?

Endless arguments aren't going to do anything good. I continually remind
myself that I can't live other people's lives in any way. They must fail or
succeed on their own, just as I must do so for myself. It is painful when
someone you love is self-destructive and won't listen to reason. But then
again, who am I to judge anyone? I have to keep reminding myself of that and
I think it is better.

So when my mother was coming, I asked her what she wanted in the house and
went out and bought everything she asked for. (They did not have fake eggs
at Fresh Fields so I didn't buy those but I bought everything else.)

I'm not sure this helps but it is my experience and I appreciate being able
to share it with you.

--Richard