PART 1 of  2

April 26, 1997

Hello,

Upon reading Kirt's MAGNIFICENT post of 4/26/97, 12:06 PM [Subject:
Zephyr's illness (was Re: Roy's trichinosis consideration)], I finally
feel ready to step into the fray here and make myself known on this
topic.   For all of us to derive maximum benefit from the discussion that
Kirt's letter will certainly, and thankfully, provoke, I think the full
story should come out.  Of course, no story can ever be fully told; there
will always be missing pieces and differing perspectives.  But I do have
a lot of information about this recent episode that suddenly feels urgent
for me to share.  Thank you, Kirt, for opening the door and triggering
that urgency.  I knew a long time ago that I would have to write this
letter, but I've been waiting till my heart told me the time was right.

Zephyr has read this post and supports me in sending it.

By nature (or nurture, or the absence thereof), I'm a very private
person.  I've been a lurker on this list nearly since its inception.
However, after watching the man I love, a brilliant, strong, passionate,
powerful man, a super healthy 27-year old whose coconut climbing skills
were legendary, whose book inspired many to follow his example, nearly
lose his life, I want everyone to know what happened.  I would like any
and all lessons to be learned, painful suffering and even death to be
avoided, and self-knowledge and wisdom to increase.

As Zephyr's condition deteriorated to the point where his life was in
danger, I began writing letters to about thirty of his friends and
acquaintances (some of whom are on this list) to update them on the
situation as it unfolded.  This is what I'll now share with the rest of
you, after a little background to put it all in context.

Zephyr and I met in January 1996 at an Instinctive Nutrition seminar in
Marin County presented by Bruno Comby.  Soon afterwards, we became
intimately involved.  After traveling back and forth between Hawaii and
California to visit each other for several months, we began living
together at my home near Santa Barbara last September 1996.

Our relationship has been tumultuous, to say the least!  Suffice it to
say that I do not share Zephyr's desires for multiple sexual
relationships and communal living, and have experienced a lot of
heartache as a consequence.  Part of the dynamic between us has included
me supporting Zephyr emotionally and financially.  As a result, he has
felt (and been) truly loved, gotten his book published, attended the
Hoffman Quadrinity Process, had all of his teeth saved from rot and ruin
through extensive dental work, and, most recently, been de-wormed!   I
have tolerated and forgiven behavior by him that I now look back and
wonder how I did it.

To balance out the picture, Zephyr has fully given himself emotionally to
me on many, many occasions, introduced me to a multitude of wonderful
people, places, and experiences, and sacrificed his lifestyle and vision
in Hawaii, so dear to his heart, in order to be with me.  We have had
beautiful, deep, ecstatic times together very consistently despite all
our difficulties.  As Edith Piaf said, "Je ne regrette rien".  But
hindsight now urges me to never again become sexually involved with
someone whose values are so different than mine.   Our future together is
currently in question; time will soon tell whether the changes he
believes he has undergone as a result of his illness become demonstrated
in life.  Because I overextended myself so much during this crisis in
particular, and prior to that, during our entire relationship in general,
I cannot with integrity resume the imbalanced energy exchange that
previously characterized our relationship.  I now value myself enough to
realize that.  It is with great sadness that I imagine life without
Zephyr, because I truly cherish and am devoted to him.

Since this is a food-oriented list, I'll mention that I was anorexic and
bulimic for twenty years.  I was introduced (and converted) to a Natural
Hygiene diet in 1989 by my former husband, Anthony Boyar, who has been a
raw vegan since 1969 and enjoys excellent health today at 46.  The two of
us presented seminars on raw vegan nutrition in Santa Monica for a few
years.  I became interested in instinctive eating after reading books by
Schaeffer (in 1992), Zephyr (in 1994), and Bruno (in 1995), and
experimented with instincto (including raw animal foods [RAFs]) for a few
months in 1996 after Bruno's excellent seminar.  I did not find instincto
to be sustainable for me over a long period of time, and had great
ambivalence about RAFs.  So I've now returned to a Natural Hygiene diet,
which works better for me over the long haul.

And now, the letters... (Kirt's letter can be found in a postscript.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------
March 27, 1997

To all our dear friends who know and love Zephyr,

Please forgive the form letter, but time is short and urgent, and my
energy is more devoted to caring for Zephyr now than for taking the
individual time I would prefer to contact each of you personally...

You're probably unaware that Zephyr is very sick right now and I wanted
to update you on his condition and ask for your prayers and guidance.

Zephyr and I spent six wonderful weeks in Hawaii early this year.  He was
happy, active, and vibrant, as usual.  We returned to Santa Barbara on
March 3.  Soon afterwards, he became very sick and has not shown any
signs of recovery.

Some possible causative factors:

-In Hawaii, Zephyr trapped, killed, and ate a mongoose - raw.  He ate its
liver (said it was the best tasting part).  He had no ill effects
afterwards.

-The day after we returned, Zephyr drank water from our backyard pond
because he felt it was natural and tasted good.  He had been drinking
this water for several weeks BEFORE we went to Hawaii, with no ill
effects at all, but when we returned, it began to disagree with him.  His
first symptoms were tiredness and weakness.

-Five days later, Zephyr ate raw halibut and raw lobster from the Santa
Barbara Harbor Fish Market.  These were caught near San Luis Obispo in
supposedly clean waters.  They tasted good to him.  He felt strange
afterwards.  His eyes became very puffy and swollen with layers of mucus
in them.  He got weaker and had digestive problems.  There were moments
when he would feel better for a while, and then he would relapse after
eating.

-Three days after the fish meals, Zephyr ate raw venison from New Zealand
(available here in Santa Barbara through a gourmet meat market).  He then
lost all his energy for being outside and doing permaculture.

At this point, Marshall, our gardening advisor, whom Zephyr deeply
respects, advised Zephyr to see his doctor, a Chinese herbalist who is
also a M.D.  We couldn't get an immediate appointment (which Zephyr
suddenly wanted, after refusing my suggestions to see a doctor for
several days) with Marshall's doctor (Dr. Han, from whom you'll later
hear more), so we ended up at an acupuncturist, and she insisted that
Zephyr have blood testing done before she would work on him.

Tests at a walk-in emergency care center revealed high liver enzymes, low
white blood cell count, electrolyte imbalance, blood pressure of 80/40,
and the presence in his stool sample of a parasite that was a likely
marker for the pathogen entamoeba hystolica, a dangerous parasite.
Zephyr was in a lot of pain at this point and could hardly walk.  His
joints ached.

He was given a prescription for Flagyl, a very powerful antibiotic, and
Neosporin antibiotic eye drops.  He took both because he was very eager
to feel better, and was told by the doctors that he would feel better
within 24 hours.  The swelling in his eyes went down. His fever abated
somewhat, but he became weaker and weaker, and suffered psychological
discomfort and mental disorientation from the Flagyl.  His appetite has
declined more and more.  Most days he ate just a couple bites of banana
and nothing else.  He drank lots of water.  He stopped the Flagyl halfway
through the prescribed course (which according to medical dogma is worse
than not taking it at all).

For the past three days, he has been unable to raise himself to a sitting
position in bed.  We have a full-time male nurse to help Zephyr move into
more comfortable positions, to monitor his vital signs, and to stay with
Zephyr while I do errands.  Zephyr wets the bed when he sleeps now and
often when awake can't tell that he needs to pee.

Dr. Henry Han of the Santa Barbara Herb Clinic just paid Zephyr a house
call.  He told Zephyr that his life is in danger; he does not have but a
few days left in which to just allow nature to take its course; by then
there will be irreversible organ damage (liver).  If Zephyr begins the
herbal remedies Dr. Han will prescribe (3 cups of herbal tea per day),
there is a very good chance he can regain his vitality; if not, he will
certainly need to be hospitalized and might likely die.

Dr. Han said the situation is treatable.  There's still time if he's
willing to take the herbs.  If he does take them, he'll be much better
within a week.  If not, his body will deteriorate beyond the point of
return.  His condition needs to be actively treated.  This is not a
condition that will run its course and then Zephyr will get better.

He observed from Zephyr's blood work of March 14th the indications of
infection, coupled with a low white blood cell count, electrolyte
imbalance, low minerals, high liver enzymes, and low blood serum protein.
 Despite the infection, he said, Zephyr's immune system is weak and
virtually ineffective.  His liver inflammation can be due to either
hepatitis, or a toxic reaction to gastrointestinal parasites, or a toxic
reaction to medication.  Dr. Han could feel that Zephyr's liver was
swollen.  If it is hepatitis, and the hepatitis is viral, antibodies or
antigens will appear in a blood test.  But Dr. Han feels there is not
time to wait for a blood test!  Nor is there time to wait for the
thorough parasite testing of stool samples done by a laboratory in North
Carolina.  The entamoeba pathogen that Zephyr purportedly had/has is not
that difficult to get rid of.  If Zephyr's condition were due only to a
parasite, then Flagyl, the antibiotic that Zephyr took for five days,
would have worked by now.  Since Zephyr didn't respond to that, an
important part of his condition was left untreated.  The Flagyl was too
harsh a medication for Zephyr.

Flagyl helps some problems, but it's very hard on the immune system.
Although part of the situation Zephyr currently faces has likely been
exacerbated by Flagyl, it's impossible for Flagyl alone to have caused
this, and indeed, Zephyr was experiencing this general trend well before
he began taking Flagyl.  Now the priority is to rebuild the body and give
it strength.  Zephyr's yin energy (cooling, nourishing) is deficient.
And there is lots of stagnation, meaning that the existing toxins are
stuck in his body.  The energy is not flowing well.  The liver energy in
particular needs to be regulated and helped to become invigorated.

Dr. Han said Zephyr's condition is not contagious except by anal to oral
contact.  At this point Zephyr cannot sit up without assistance.  He gets
extremely tired after eating.   He eats practically nothing.  He has lost
quite a bit of weight.  He has very little personality left -- he is
simply beautifully innocent and childlike.

Zephyr has no faith in the herbs.  He does not want to take these teas
because they will have to be boiled.  He would eat them fresh and raw, he
says, but he is scared that the boiling process will make them harmful to
his body.  To me this is astounding... to be told one is at death's door
and refuse to boil water to save one's life.  But this is a reflection of
the, dare I say, stubbornness, arrogance, and, ultimately, fear, that
this sickness is here to break down, in my overview.

There's a psychic woman who does spiritual healing who Zephyr and I went
to see a couple weeks ago, when he was still ambulatory and mobile.  She
knew nothing about us or our relationship, and didn't ask any questions.
When she worked on Zephyr, she told him he is in a very confused,
scattered state as a soul, a state of extreme spiritual rebellion.  She
said that his illness can help him to heal and release the effects of
spending so many past lives working for the Dark Side (this was her
terminology), and to begin to live and work in the Light.  She told me
that I have gotten in way over my head in this relationship, that I
thought if I simply loved Zephyr enough, he would get better, but that
Zephyr is an extraordinarily difficult case and his spiritual commitment
is rather weak.  She says the illness came to blow his brains out and
give him a chance to be free of his past.

I am left baffled and astounded at Zephyr's reaction against taking the
herbs.  Is it right for me to override him?  Even if I do, I can't force
the teas down his throat.  If indeed he does deteriorate further, can
I/should I drag him to the hospital against his will?  I truly respect
his desire to do things his way, and don't know where or if to cross that
line.  After Dr. Han left, Zephyr said he wanted to call Chitta, our
fundamentalist instincto friend in Hawaii, and get his opinion on the
herbs (guess what that will be).  Zephyr asked me to pick up some ahi
tuna (raw) for him to eat for dinner tomorrow night.  I'm concerned about
the parasite possibilities, yet wanting to give him what he wants...
What to do, what to do.

I'm concerned that the professionals advising Zephyr have a financial
interest in him following their advice.  I imagine these herbs are not
the only thing that would save Zephyr's life.  I don't know what is right
anymore, and many friends are telling me I should take matters into my
own hands and make decisions for Zephyr at this point because he is not
thinking clearly.  He was willing to make exceptions to instincto
practice (Flagyl, drinking juices), but since he didn't get better, he is
now deeply suspicious.

If any of you would like to communicate with Zephyr, the best way would
be to e-mail me and ask me to call you (suggest a time range) and put
Zephyr on the phone with you.  This is because it's hard for you to know
when Zephyr is awake and/or coherent.  Both are increasingly rare these
days, and the ringing phone is generally disturbing to him anyway.  His
phone line is taking messages, but not being answered.

We're enrolled in a Hoffman Quadrinity Process couples workshop April 5 &
6, and are invited to see my spiritual teacher both in Hawaii
immediately, and in northern California in late April.  We have so much
ahead of us, so much to live for, so much love for each other.  I don't
want him to die!!!  Please help if you feel you have a way to get through
to him, or can simply offer your prayers for his healing.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions, reactions, opinions, feedback, and
loving energy you send our way.

With much love and gratitude,
Deborah

P.S.  Lest anyone misconstrue the "Intro to Zephyr's situation" message
as a plea or invitation for you to come here and visit, please understand
that I am not requesting or offering that as a possibility at this time.
All my attention and energies are going into Zephyr now, and we do NOT
want house guests, or even a steady stream of visitors, at this time.
Thanks for your understanding, and I'll let you know if the situation
changes in that respect.  I'm basically just asking for your ideas and
perspectives at this time.

Love,
Deborah
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------

March 28, 1997

Dearest Friends,
I'm overwhelmed by the outpouring of intelligent, thoughtful, loving,
powerful communication you've so rapidly sent our way.  I am deeply
comforted and nurtured to feel such a broad circle of support and insight
around us.  Thank you ALL from our hearts to yours!

Today was a better day for Zephyr overall, and I am CERTAIN that your
prayers, thoughts, and energies contributed to that.

After staying up till about 3 am last night writing to you all, I crawled
in bed beside Zephyr, held him, and cried for a long time, begging him to
live and to open to the possibility of using the herbs, or doing whatever
it took to get well.  He was in a deep sleep and didn't acknowledge me at
all (or so it seemed).  He woke up very soft and vulnerable emotionally,
and was physically extremely weak and yellowish looking (jaundice??).

Marshall, our gardener friend who referred us to Dr. Han, stopped by
early to see how the doctor's visit went last evening.  He strongly urged
Zephyr to take the herbs, and reported his experience of complete
remission from crippling rheumatoid arthritis (he had been advised by his
M.D. to buy a walker and live with the pain) after five weeks of taking
the herbs that Dr. Han had recommended for him.  He also mentioned how
when primates in the wild come down with infectious disease or parasites
(which they regularly do), they instinctively know what medicinal plants
to eat.  We have lost that kind of intuitive knowledge, he said, and
can't rely on the body's pleasure mechanisms to guide us when we are sick
like that.  Especially when we are sick inside a building without a full
range of wild herbs growing all around us!

Late this morning, Mielle, the spiritual healer I mentioned last posting,
came to the house and gave Zephyr another session.  She began by offering
him some Bach flower remedies.  He opened his mouth like a little bird to
receive them without question.  I was astounded!  She discussed with him
his state of spiritual rebellion, as she calls it, and his conflict
between surrendering to what life presents, versus rigidly holding on to
his ideas.  She talked with him about how when we are sick, it's
sometimes necessary to do things we wouldn't do when we are well, in
order to jump start the system and recover.  Zephyr strongly affirmed his
desire to *get through this*.  Mielle inferred in this statement some
impatience and superficiality on Zephyr's part to feel good again without
really going through the hard lessons of his ordeal.  She said that a
great deal of disorder, scatteredness, and even delirium remains in him.
His healing will depend on his ability to rebuild the missing links
inside himself; she made the analogy of sparks misfiring or synapses not
connecting.

Our devoted friend and neighbor, Fred, sat with Zephyr for a few hours
this afternoon while I went out to get the herbs and do other errands.
Fred massaged Zephyr, read stories to him, fed him, hugged him, etc.
Zephyr was deeply grateful and expressed it many times.

When I picked up the herbs, I realized from the sign on the door that Dr.
Han was not an M.D. after all, but an O.M.D. (Oriental medical doctor).
I became deeply dismayed and felt a lot of anxiety about having wasted
precious time with someone who was not equally versed in Western medicine
and connected with hospitals and so forth.  I asked Dr. Han if he had
experience treating cases like these.  He said that yes, he had
successfully treated similar cases.  I asked him for the name of an M.D.
in case it became necessary to take Zephyr to the hospital over the
weekend.  He couldn't think of one (my heart sank even further at that
point!), but later he called me at home and gave me the name of a female
physician (internist) affiliated with Cottage Hospital here in Santa
Barbara.  I called her office and got clear on what procedures to follow
in the event of an emergency situation with Zephyr -- we would call 911,
be taken to that hospital and they would call her.  I got a good feeling
about her after a long conversation with her secretary regarding Zephyr
and his condition.

The herbs from Dr. Han are all loose and in big bags, not capsules.  The
cooking instructions are complex, and involve several steps.  Again, I
felt so vulnerable and responsible in that herb clinic, and so wracked
with guilt that again, here I was wasting precious time when what Zephyr
really needed was to be in a hospital.

I asked Dr. Han his opinion of Zephyr eating the raw tuna tonight, as he
had requested.  Dr. Han said no, it would be too difficult to digest in
light of Zephyr's absence of digestive fire.  I picked up some free
range, wild foraging chicken eggs from New Zealand for Zephyr, and a
bouquet of spring flowers.

When I got home, Zephyr was relaxed and subdued.  He was a little
disappointed about not getting to eat fish, but very willing to take the
little Chinese patent medicine pills Dr. Han had also given me at the
clinic.  Fred and I fed him two raw egg yolks and he thoroughly savored
them.  We felt this was EXCELLENT quality nutrient material, very
bioavailable and easily digested.

He later asked that I read him a letter from Bruno Comby, a highly
respected French scientist and author on instinctive nutrition, regarding
Zephyr's condition.  In this letter, Bruno advocated using medical
assistance whenever necessary, and stated that instincto works best with
bacterial, viral, and metabolic disorders -- but NOT with parasite
infections.  This had a strong impact on Zephyr and relieved some of his
guilt over deviating from the instincto party line.  I've been mentioning
this letter from Bruno to Zephyr ever since it arrived, but today was the
first day Zephyr was mentally alert enough to listen to it.

While I was finishing brewing up the tea, Zephyr had a bowel movement --
his first in over five days.  Was it the little Chinese pills? The egg
yolks?  The loving energy from all of you?  The spiritual healing
session?  The nearly constant massaging by Herbert, our heroic nurse, and
Fred?  All played a part, no doubt.

Then Zephyr drank a whole serving of the tea within a few minutes' time.
Now he's resting peacefully.  Let's pray that the trend continues!!!
Thank you all so much for your love and friendship.  I promise to keep
you posted.

All our love,
Deborah and Zephyr

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------

March 31, 1997

Dear Friends,
Again, thanks for all your messages, calls, support, and love for both
Zephyr and me.  My sincere apologies for not getting back in contact with
you again sooner; I'm sure it has been very upsetting to hear nothing
when you are wondering and worrying about everything.  However, I
desperately needed some time off from the Communicator position, as I had
been fielding upwards of two dozen phone calls daily and staying up till
3:00 a.m. to answer e-mails,  in addition to my number one priority of
being present with and for Zephyr, and my number two priority of running
our household.

Over the weekend, I felt the sense of crisis and confusion in which we
found ourselves rise to a peak and then resolve itself.  Many of you
wrote to express your concern that in a time of such grave danger, we
were consulting psychics and herbalists, and that this was a time for the
best that ALL disciplines, including allopathic medicine, had to offer.
I have always felt this, and consulted Dr. Han, the Chinese herbalist,
only because I was led to believe that he was an M.D.  When I found out
that he was not, I indicated how alarmed I was, and then, when Zephyr had
used his recommended herbs for two days with no signs of improvement
except having a bowel movement (now that's nothing to scoff at, but it's
not enough in this situation), I felt overwhelmed with panic and
frustration.  I knew we needed to find a good M.D. Although Santa Barbara
has several holistic M.D.'s, none of them would come to the house to
examine Zephyr as a new patient after I explained that he was too weak to
come to the office.  Without exception, they all said to bring him to the
hospital.  Now I am not averse to bringing Zephyr to the hospital, and I
will not hesitate to do it when the time is right and all other
reasonable options have been exhausted.  But I would want to bring him
ONLY after an M.D. has evaluated him and convinced me (and, I hope,
Zephyr) he needs to be in the hospital.

Once again to the rescue came Fred, our stalwart, noble, and
extraordinarily devoted friend.  He discovered a raw food M.D. in Santa
Monica, and persuaded him to drive up to Santa Barbara on Saturday to
examine Zephyr.  Although we were all very excited and looking forward to
this visit, I still felt disappointed that we had no local person to
consult for guidance.  Our meeting with this M.D. did not live up to our
expectations:  Zephyr outright disliked the man, and I felt ambivalent
about him.  While he certainly espoused the right holistic healing
philosophies, he lapsed into too much dogma and fanaticism in this
respect for me.  He used every question as a platform to deliver his
belief system.  And it was a fairly mediocre one, in my opinion:  meat is
the cause of all problems, and Zephyr's high level of meat consumption
over the past several years had finally done him in.   Couple that with
his disdain for laboratory testing (which I believe is essential), and
his recommendations that Zephyr drink wheatgrass juice and take colloidal
minerals (which I find simplistic and insufficient), and I imagine you'll
understand why I felt even more despair and hopelessness after his visit.
 I knew that something had to be done SOON; I did not want that something
to be paramedics depositing Zephyr in an anonymous emergency room, where
he would then be sucked up into a perpetual motion machine of death and
disease.  I wanted to feel confident and have an intuitive sense that the
M.D. we chose could make sense of the situation and be trusted to give
proper guidance, and I did not yet have that.

Again Fred came through for us; he made a call to his personal friend,
Dr. Michael Klaper.  Dr. Klaper's name will probably be familiar to many
of you as the author of *Vegan Nutrition* and *Your Vegetarian Baby*, and
as a frequent speaker at natural healing and vegan conferences.  I didn't
have much faith in this selection, but Fred assured me of Dr. Klaper's
intelligence and abilities, and no other options were apparent to me.  I
was overwhelmingly pleased to discover a rare genius of a man in Dr.
Klaper, a physician in the truest sense of the word.  Our first
conversation lasted half an hour; the doctor was genuine in his concern
and curiosity.  We then faxed him Zephyr's blood test results from March
14 (our most recent at that time), the record of his vital signs (blood
pressure, pulse, respiration, temperature) since March 19, and the two
e-mail letters you have already received, which give a narrative account
of this grisly situation.  We called him back thirty minutes later, and
he spent an hour and a half on the phone with us explaining his
interpretation of the blood work, the etiology of the situation, and what
he felt our options now were.  (Dr. Klaper, a physician licensed in
California and now Hawaii, splits his time between Maui and Los Angeles.
He's now in Maui.)

To summarize:  Zephyr has severely injured his liver.  He did three major
things to put it at risk:  (1) He ate the mongoose liver.  The mongoose
is an unnatural (non-native) animal in Hawaii.  It was introduced to eat
rats and birds.  Any toxins that these rats and birds eat therefore
accumulates in the mongoose tissues, and especially in its liver.  This
could range from rats roaming through heavily pesticided commercial
papaya and sugar cane, or eating carrion of advancing degeneration, or
traipsing through human excrement (which is rarely handled by World
Health Organization standards at Pangaia [!]), to birds flying out to sea
to nibble on fish whose water habitats are of questionable bacterial and
chemical soundness.  Dr. Klaper said that eating a carnivore, and
especially the liver of a carnivore, subjects us to a huge accumulation
of toxins.  If some of these toxins were chemical, therefore resulting in
a toxic hepatitis, it's common for the symptoms to take two to three
weeks to appear, which is what happened in Zephyr's case.  This is
because the liver has reserve cells and takes time to degenerate.  (2)
Zephyr drank the pond water from our backyard pond.  Though I've never
seen them, I presume our pond is visited by the raccoon, rabbits, deer,
coyotes, mountain lions, and even the occasional bear that make their
homes in our neighborhood.  Especially since we were gone for six weeks,
the animals probably hung out there a lot!  Our neighborhood is also home
to a number of commercial avocado orchards, which spray and use chemical
fertilizers and fungicides.  These chemicals could have been ingested by
the neighborhood animals in their scavenging, and then present in any
feces they might have deposited in our pond.    Parasites could also have
taken up residence in the pond.  (3) The lobster that Zephyr ate raw
could have been living near a raw sewage outlet, and thus loaded with
hepatitis virus.

Dr. Klaper explained that this triple barrage of potential toxins so
close together in time may have resulted in the destruction of Zephyr's
intestinal lining, such that the natural barrier that isolates toxins
from the bloodstream is ravaged.  When this happens, it's known as leaky
gut syndrome, and the first stop the leaking toxins make is at the liver.
 The liver, already overloaded, cannot filter these toxins and they spill
out into the bloodstream, resulting in the delirium, confusion, and bed
wetting that Zephyr experiences now and again.

What to do?  The so-called natural options range from (1) Do nothing;
simply support Zephyr in resting and drinking fluids, and hope that his
youth and previous vigor will pull him through.  Of all the organs, the
liver has the greatest regenerative capacity.  Time and fluids will help.
 Recommended fluids were water, fruit juices, and vegetable juices.
Fruit smoothies also were advised.  Egg yolks were approved because of
their high fat.  Zephyr needs sugars and fats now -- but no protein due
to its ammonia content.  Ammonia building up in the bloodstream can
affect mentation, causing the confusion and bed wetting, and eventually
causing liver coma.  Protein is the most taxing stuff on the liver.  Dr.
Klaper vetoed Zephyr's request for raw ahi on Saturday night.  (2) Use
herbs to help heal the liver; milk thistle is renowned for helping the
liver to excrete its toxins.  (3) Use coffee enemas to help flush out the
liver.  I immediately ruled out his option because of Zephyr's severe
weakness; to get him up and down off the toilet would be overly exerting
and depleting.  Plus it just feels too harsh a measure to me, given his
frail condition.

Dr. Klaper assessed the situation as very serious, and said that Zephyr
is in danger of liver failure.  Putting on his Western medical hat, Dr.
Klaper said that if Zephyr has viral hepatitis, he recommends gamma
globulin shots.  If Zephyr's liver is or becomes so sick that it cannot
handle its toxins, dialysis might be necessary to take the load off the
kidneys, which rush in to fill the liver function.  If not, there could
be hepato-renal (liver-kidney) failure.  The kidneys become overly
stressed because they are given the job of filtering what the liver
normally works on.  The worst scenario he envisioned (brace yourselves!)
is that Zephyr would be in the ballpark for a liver transplant.  This is
so horrifying as to seem surreal to me -- I cannot fathom it as a real
possibility, and trust and pray that our collective ministrations,
Zephyr's innate capacity to heal, and his desire to live, will pull him
through.

Dr. Klaper said that if the clinical situation deteriorates one more bit
with further signs of liver shutdown, Zephyr should be hospitalized.  He
said that one such sign would be an increase in the jaundice I've
described.  Currently, Zephyr's palms and the soles of his feet are
yellowish.  Red blood cells have an average life of four months.  When
they get old, they break up, and the red pigment inside them is turned by
the liver into bilirubin, a yellow pigment.  The liver transports these
along with the bile down into the intestine.  When the liver is sick,
these back up into the bloodstream and settle in the tissue as a yellow
pigment -- hence, jaundice.  It can get so high that the urine looks like
Coca-Cola.  Zephyr's urine is not like that, fortunately.

Dr. Klaper said that Zephyr ought to be in a hospital, in an intensive
care unit, with a hepatologist (liver specialist), by almost any
standards -- he's very sick.  Even herbs and natural remedies can be
stressful in their own way, he said.  Zephyr is at risk of cardiac death
because his electrolytes are so out of balance.  He's also in danger of
infection from the gut toxins that may be leaking into his bloodstream.
Although Zephyr has not been running a fever lately, this is not
necessarily a sign that he's free of infection; often when we are very
sick, we can't muster up the energy to develop a fever.  Despite these
grave statements, Dr. Klaper understands our desire to keep Zephyr out of
the hospital and believes that if the downward trend has not accelerated
too far (which blood tests will reveal), we can keep him out.

I asked if the Flagyl was a compounding factor in the liver's
deterioration, and Dr. Klaper said no; it was an appropriate maneuver at
the time.

At a minimum now, Dr. Klaper said, we need blood tests that could force
our hand in deciding among these options.  Fred and I scrambled around on
Saturday night at 9 pm to find someone to come to the house and draw
blood.  We had a terrible time, and finally located someone to do it,
take the blood to a lab, and have the results sent to Dr. Klaper.  If we
hadn't been able to find someone, we would have had to have an ambulance
pick Zephyr up and take him to the hospital (he's too weak to make it
there otherwise), admit him, get the tests run, and then take him out AMA
(against medical advice) and go home before they pumped him full of drugs
and cut him open.

Blood testing was ordered as follows:  complete blood count with liver
panel, hepatitis testing, and a heavy metals/pesticide toxic screen.  A
urinalysis was also ordered.  Dr. Klaper instructed the R.N. who came out
to perform an exam on Zephyr.  He had her call him from our house, and he
told her things he wanted her to do.

Dr. Klaper awaited the results, and called us as soon as he obtained
them.  The waiting period was agonizing because we'd been led to believe
the results would be in before dawn Sunday.  As it turned out, the person
logging in the blood forgot to note stat on it, and the hospital failed
to tell us that hepatitis testing is done only on Tuesdays and Fridays,
and that the toxic screen would be sent to Utah and not back till Friday
or even Sunday.  But in any case, we did get the complete blood count
back by 1:00 Sunday, and the results were mixed.

The urinalysis showed that the kidneys are in good shape.  Zephyr can
still concentrate and acidify his urine, and there are no nitrites in it,
which is a positive sign in terms of no urinary tract infection.  His
white blood cell count is slightly elevated, as would be expected.  He is
not anemic.  His immune system is on alert, though the alarm seems to be
subsiding.  His electrolytes are quite low (sodium and chloride).
There's an urgent need to alkalinize the body.

The most worrisome numbers are the low albumin, the rising blood urea
nitrogen levels (indicating ammonia), and the cholesterol of 74.  (Can
you believe it?  And for the record, after years of eating pounds of
animal flesh at a sitting, Zephyr's cholesterol on March 14th was 119.)
Dr. Klaper said these figures indicate the liver is panting, so to speak,
or racing to keep up with production of albumin and cholesterol.  High
liver enzymes also point to the liver being damaged, since its enzymes
belong in the liver, not the bloodstream.  We need to see the albumin
rise and the ammonia level fall.

It will be interesting to get the other test results back (hepatitis and
toxic metals), but here we have the most important picture of liver
functioning, and it's not functioning great, Dr. Klaper said.  We're on
the knife edge of liver failure here.  Saturday evening's test results
indicate one point on the graph; those of March 14th are another point.
What we need is another more current point so that we can see if we are
in a trend of improvement or decline.  On Wednesday or Thursday,
additional tests will be run:  another complete blood count, a malaria
screen, HIV test, and a couple other more specialized liver tests whose
names I can't recall.  Based on their results, we'll make our next
decisions.

In the meantime, Dr. Klaper has made contact with Dr. Jane McClenahan,
the internist at Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital recommend by Dr. Han.  He
will apprise her of Zephyr's condition, fax her his tests and other data,
and she will be on standby in case we need to use her.  She will
collaborate with Dr. Klaper in managing Zephyr's case in the hospital,
should that become necessary.

I asked Dr. Klaper if Zephyr's previous lifestyle might have weakened his
liver such that it collapsed so suddenly, and the only factor he named
was the consumption of large amounts of animal protein at single
sittings.  (Zephyr recounts in his book how he consumes flesh in pounds,
not ounces.)  The big bolt of protein is a heavy load on the liver,
especially night after night.
Our present course of action:  Zephyr is drinking vegetable juices and
eating fruit smoothies.  He's taking Vitamin E, Vitamin C, milk thistle,
lipoic acid (THANK YOU SCOTT ANDERSON!!!), acidophilus, and flax seed oil
capsules.  He's sleeping a lot and is quite clear mentally and
emotionally.  He is a tiny bit weaker physically today and looks terribly
emaciated.  I have explained the entire situation to him; he understands
it, has spoken to Dr. Klaper, and feels good about the way we're
proceeding.  He knows about the eventual possibility of going into the
hospital for possible rehydration, gamma globulin, or dialysis.  He
believes he is getting better day by day, and that will not become
necessary.  That's my fervent hope as well.

Please hold him in your prayers, asking for the highest good for Zephyr.
He is courageous and brave, and feeds on your loving support.  I read him
your letters and tell him about your calls, and he's immensely grateful.


And know that I will be in touch as often as humanly possible; please
bear with us.  Although things may sound grimmer than ever, I feel great
clarity and strength in Dr. Klaper and our support system here.  Harder
times may be ahead, but we will get through them with intelligence and
faith.

With much love,
Deborah

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------

April 1, 1997

Just a brief note to update you since yesterday, because today's news is
so positive.  Zephyr tested negative for all forms of hepatitis (A, B, &
C).  Dr. Klaper is VERY encouraged by these results, which lead him to
conclude that the liver is inflamed due to chemical toxicity (from the
mongoose, pond water, or raw shellfish) rather than from a virus.

Towards the end of this week, we'll get back results from the heavy
metals screen.  Dr. Klaper speculated that cadmium might appear, but said
that it's possible we'll never really know the precise agent that caused
the cellular injury to Zephyr's liver.  He said it may be something that
just plays itself out without us doing anything, and that his liver will
eventually heal even if we do nothing.

Of course, he warned, there could come a point where the liver spiraled
so far down in its healing cycle that it could no longer keep up with
bodily functions; for example, the elimination of ammonia and the
synthesis of proteins.  At that point, having jeopardized the rest of the
organs and metabolic processes, it would be moot whether the liver could
repair itself.  That would be the time for emergency support of those
other organs and metabolic processes

The question in Zephyr's case is how close to that edge he will come.
After receiving the negative hepatitis test results, Dr. Klaper's
intuition tells him that if Zephyr were going to go into liver failure,
it would have already happened.  He thinks that this is as bad as
Zephyr's condition will get, and that the odds are likely we may never
know exactly what happened.

In any case, we'll continue to keep an eye on the parameters by doing
blood tests every three or four days.  He said that Zephyr does not need
to go to the hospital at this point.

And now, let's all breathe a collective sigh of relief... and give thanks.

With love,
Deborah