> >Carol:
> >How will you eat now?  I hope you don't dive headfirst into a diet
> >that's high in the very things you used to avoid.  Are you still
> >going to be a vegetarian?

> Axel:
> you know, the answer is i do not have a clear idea. criteria one will be
> not to control it with my mind. criteria two will be well-being. criteria
> three will be not having this weird blind rationalized symptoms! like
> peeing a lot and being more thirsty with "health food" than with crap!!
> somebody said, recently that the reason we start this diet is sometimes a
> desire to feel better, right? i am not feeling better. i forgot to mention
> something i was almost totally blind to: being weak and dizzy and just
> plain down really interferes with my social/sexual/sensual life. gosh, it
> even affects my self-steem!

Absolutely!  I don't find that strange at all.

> i know i am ambitious, but i do not want to
> control diet and health with my head. it is not possible to me,
> there are too many variables in my life. i am in the process of
> becoming aware and > later "cleansing" my emotional pain from
> childhood, i am doing this with a psychologist i trust deeply
> and with whom i have a good rapport (do you
> use this word in english? -;)

All the time, and in just that way. :)

> i am looking for some fish and dairy from reputable sources
> ( i want to eat raw ricotta, but have not found it yet). i
> guess i have to take it easy (not too easy, though -;) and
> experiment and see what happens.

Sounds like you've got a good attitude about it.  I asked about the
vegetarianism because I've seen many people go from raw vegan to
cooked vegan when they start feeling that something isn't quite right.
Personally, I think that this is a mistake.  I think that if one is
fiddling with one's diet for health reasons, the second step should
be adding raw meats and/or eggs.  Just seems the second most natural
group of foods (after fruits, veggies, and seeds; I'm not into grains
that need soaking or cooking to be palatable).  If that didn't do the
trick, I would consider adding dairy (though if my meat or egg sources
were questionable, I might well add raw milk first; at least in my
area, a raw milk supplier that I trust is easier to find than trust-
worthy sources of meat or eggs).  I would add grains only as a last
resort.

I realize that such a scheme would go against your rule #1, but I'm
of the opinion that listening to one's body includes listening to
one's brain.  I think a plan of action can be helpful in situations
such as yours, but of course, it's up to you.  :)

Carol