dear Meka,
Hi. Boy! Am I glad to hear from you.  I am glad the Lord stopped you from
making a disasterous mistake, too.  Glad you two didn't rush into things
before you could see what you were getting into.
God bless.  Maybe I'll write offlist.
Vinny
----- Original Message -----
From: "Tomeka White" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, September 17, 2004 6:16 PM
Subject: precious Echurch family


> Hello, everyone:
>
> Well, life has certainly been interesting, full of ups and downs, twists
and
> turns.  Firstly, let me apologize for my very long hiaitis from the list,
> and truthfullly, from any form of communication.  I caught up with some
mail
> and I guess I'd better set a few facts straight.
>
> Firstly, I would never blacklist anyone for good, sound advice given in
> genuine love.  I don't operate that way, nor will I ever do so.  I have
been
> on this list for quite a while and have cherished the advice given from my
> echurch family.
>
> Secondly, no, I'm not married.  Alex and I had talked about marriage and
had
> gotten way ahead of ourselves.  I was supposed to go to England this
summer,
> but that sort of got canceled due to my breaking up with Alex!  He still
> wanted to be friends and come out here in July, which I allowed.  It
> solidified my reasons for breaking up with him.  He's a nice guy, but
things
> were going too fast.  When we broke up, he said such things as "oh yes,
well
> go ahead and have sex with other guys', or 'I don't understand why you
won't
> have sex with me, you're the kind of girl that likes it casual'.  He said
> some of these things while at my house, and I should have kicked him out,
> but I wanted to be welcoming and warm.  But there is truly a difference
> between being a good hostess and being a doormat for verbal abuse.  As he
> left, I told him that he was no longer welcome here if all he could do was
> insult me.  Friends do not actively seek to hurt each other, and I don't
> have to deal with that. I get that enough from my father, I certainly
don't
> have to take it from this guy.   In other news, I just had someone here to
> visit and I suppose we are dating, but this time slow and steady wins the
> race.  I'm in no rush to play relationship volleyball.  It's tiring, and
I'm
> ready to pick up my toys and go home.  *grin*
>
> I am no longer in school.  I believe that I should be getting a job, as my
> most immediate needs are financial.  I have to be motivated to do it, and
I
> am also afraid.  But I know that whatever I do, I'll work hard to make
sure
> that it goes to fruition and that I do a good job.
>
> I suppose I should talk about what's happening with me spiritually.  This
> won't be easy, but I am a candid person.  I stopped going to church
> regularly around January or so.  I know this is going to sound as though I
> am some kind of know-it all, but I don't mean for it to by any means.  Our
> church is a fairly large church.  I was involved with the choir for quite
> some time.  Once I slipped away from that, I slipped away from everything
> else too.  I wasn't feeling at home there, but that was probably because I
> wasn't going there to feel at home.  And the longer you stay away, the
> harder it is to come back.  I see so many programs within the church, we
are
> apparently bridging from 40 days of purpose to something else that is new
> and different and exciting.  I have told myself that I'm going to go this
> sunday and rejoin the choir.  The choir is like a family within the
family,
> and much happens during the rehearsals.  I know that I am responsible for
my
> walk with God, but it feels like I have no energy to put in to it.  I have
> been praying and I know and recognize the need for God  to be the central
> focus of my life, but I suppose I wonder why that has to be in a church
> setting.
>
> To be quite honest, I wish we could be more like the new testament
churches
> that met in homes.  That would be the ideal church or setting for me. I do
> not pretend that there is a perfect church, there isn't.  I may not even
be
> explaining my situation.  These are honest thoughts, not excuses.
>
> Lexus is doing well, after quite the scare at the ACB convention where he
> was passing blood in his stool.  He then lost about fourteen pounds and in
> August, he was passing a lot of blood.  That seems to be rectified now,
and
> he is on the mend, thank the lord!
>
> I look forward to being a more active participant on the list.  I am sorry
> if you all were worried.  I love you all.
>
> Hugs,
> Meka