Carla MacInnis <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> Hi All,
>
>   I can't recall ever being depressed because of having/living
> with cerebral palsy. CP doesn't "have" me. I think that's the
> key. I don't allow it to dictate my life to any great extent.
> As I age with cerebral palsy, and the various secondary quirks
> of the condition, I adapt - I rest more. I don't push myself so
> hard. I accept that I cannot do certain things with the same
> comfort/ease as I did even 6 months ago. That's life. That's
> living.
>
>   I think, too, how one is nurtured (or not nurtured) in
> infancy/toddlerhood, early childhood/teens has a great deal to
> do with how they/we turn out.
>
>   As I have been reading the various posts, I am struck by the
> number of people living with cerebral palsy who seem to come
> from dysfunctional families. Families who couldn't adequately
> cope with raising a disabled child and transferred those
> feelings to the child, which then manifested themselves into
> feelings of worthlessnesses. As a consequence, it seems, many
> of you/them have absorbed a lot of toxic waste that has nothing
> at all to do with "having" cerebral palsy, but is more
> connected with how you/they were treated as a person, aside
> from, or in spite of the condition we know as cerebral palsy.
>
>   Depression can visit anyone, anywhere at any time, with or
> without benefit of living with/having, or becoming disabled.
>
>   I grew up in a family of 8 children, being #7. Fortunately, I
> escaped the taunts of school mates. It wasn't part of the
> "program", if you like, when I was growing up. I was just "me".
> I never then, nor do I now, have a strong disability-based
> "identity". It doesn't define who I was, who I am, or who I
> can/will become. I think, in large part, my perceptions of
> myself are rooted in acceptance by family (parents and
> siblings) from the outset. With that came community acceptance
> - I went to school, to church, participated in various
> activities. Long before "integration" I was
> integrated/mainstreamed. So, it never occurred to me as I grew
> up and grew away from the safety net of parents and family,
> that things would be any different. I had a university life, a
> work life, and now a married life with all that goes with it.
>
>   I am concerned when someone with cp or other such condition
> "wishes I could be 'normal'" - normal is a relative thing.
> Normal is as normal does, IMHO. If you believe in yourself and
> your potential for accomplishment, then others will as well. It
> may take awhile to make an impression that says "I am "able" "
> but with perserverence, good things do come.
>
>   Feeling sad/blue about one's lot in life is not exclusive to
> persons with disability; simply put, our crosses to bear, if
> you like, are more visible than most. Remember this .. we are
> all people. Nothing more. Nothing less.
>
>   So, for any of you who are floundering in self-doubt and the
> "why me, what if" syndrome(s), get out there and show the
> ever-elusive "them" that you are a person of value and that you
> do count. So there, too!
>
> Cheers!
>
> Carla
> http://www.brunnet.net/terrier
>
>
Total agreement Carla.

--
Deri James