Carla MacInnis <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Hi All, > > I can't recall ever being depressed because of having/living > with cerebral palsy. CP doesn't "have" me. I think that's the > key. I don't allow it to dictate my life to any great extent. > As I age with cerebral palsy, and the various secondary quirks > of the condition, I adapt - I rest more. I don't push myself so > hard. I accept that I cannot do certain things with the same > comfort/ease as I did even 6 months ago. That's life. That's > living. > > I think, too, how one is nurtured (or not nurtured) in > infancy/toddlerhood, early childhood/teens has a great deal to > do with how they/we turn out. > > As I have been reading the various posts, I am struck by the > number of people living with cerebral palsy who seem to come > from dysfunctional families. Families who couldn't adequately > cope with raising a disabled child and transferred those > feelings to the child, which then manifested themselves into > feelings of worthlessnesses. As a consequence, it seems, many > of you/them have absorbed a lot of toxic waste that has nothing > at all to do with "having" cerebral palsy, but is more > connected with how you/they were treated as a person, aside > from, or in spite of the condition we know as cerebral palsy. > > Depression can visit anyone, anywhere at any time, with or > without benefit of living with/having, or becoming disabled. > > I grew up in a family of 8 children, being #7. Fortunately, I > escaped the taunts of school mates. It wasn't part of the > "program", if you like, when I was growing up. I was just "me". > I never then, nor do I now, have a strong disability-based > "identity". It doesn't define who I was, who I am, or who I > can/will become. I think, in large part, my perceptions of > myself are rooted in acceptance by family (parents and > siblings) from the outset. With that came community acceptance > - I went to school, to church, participated in various > activities. Long before "integration" I was > integrated/mainstreamed. So, it never occurred to me as I grew > up and grew away from the safety net of parents and family, > that things would be any different. I had a university life, a > work life, and now a married life with all that goes with it. > > I am concerned when someone with cp or other such condition > "wishes I could be 'normal'" - normal is a relative thing. > Normal is as normal does, IMHO. If you believe in yourself and > your potential for accomplishment, then others will as well. It > may take awhile to make an impression that says "I am "able" " > but with perserverence, good things do come. > > Feeling sad/blue about one's lot in life is not exclusive to > persons with disability; simply put, our crosses to bear, if > you like, are more visible than most. Remember this .. we are > all people. Nothing more. Nothing less. > > So, for any of you who are floundering in self-doubt and the > "why me, what if" syndrome(s), get out there and show the > ever-elusive "them" that you are a person of value and that you > do count. So there, too! > > Cheers! > > Carla > http://www.brunnet.net/terrier > > Total agreement Carla. -- Deri James