In a message dated 3/8/2003 6:06:21 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

> >> Mrs. Ralph is forever filling the kitchen sink with broccoli stumps
>
>
> Sounds like you eat well.   Do you ever invite guests?
>
> cp hungry in bc
>

Well, I do eat well.  Or at least a lot.

Among the (many) other mysteries of domestic bliss under my slate roof is
Mrs. Ralph's inability to discriminate between the broccoli stumps and the
florets.  She seems to consider them equally desirable, at least for the rest
of us who are served broccoli while Mrs. Ralph eats nothing but fish and
grapefruit.

In addition to broccoli stumps, the kitchen sink is visited by plastic and
paper bags, cardboard boxes and other non-food items that one (at least this
one, although you'd think by now I'd be used to it) wouldn't ordinarily
expect to find in a kitchen sink.  Meanwhile last night I found a fork in the
garbage can, which leads me to think that that was the final resting place of
an Art Nouveau-ish silver (not plate, either) soupspoon my late father was
given as a child in the 1920's, and with which I have eaten my cereal [and
matzoh ball soup on Passover] for decades).

I might add that nobody in my house, other than my astonishing self (to quote
Mr. G. Bernard Shaw), appears capable of differentiating between regular
paper and newspaper, between paper of any type and cardboard, and on occasion
between any of these things and plastic bottles and metal cans.  We are
supposed to sort out this stuff for recycling.

Lest you think that the Ralphs are the only stupid people hereabouts, the
metal recycling area down at The Summit Mall is often observed to contain
ceramic plumbing fixtures, wooden TV cabinets and various other
non-metallica.  Then there is all the operable electronic and computer
equipment that my fellow citizens deaccession down at The Mall.

But as to inviting guests, we do invite them, but they don't always have the
good sense to decline the invitation. Should you find yourself hereabouts, we
would be pleased to have you join us.  But don't say you haven't been warned.

And speaking of warned, those of you who are not maritally allied might wish
to consider the above.  Shaving and sex weren't the only painful lessons I
had to learn on my own.

Ralph