Hi Barb,

I guess people have various feelings about being asked for help, but I don't
mind.  I appreciate when people are kind.  What bothers me is when I say "no
thank you" and they still insist on helping.  I really hate that "you WILL
let me help you" attitude.  I don't see that as being helpful.  I see that as
somebody using my disability as a tool for them to fulfill their personal
need to feel important.  My disability is not a toy for other people to play
with.

You certainly don't seem to fit into that category though.  You're just
trying to be polite.  I wouldn't worry about it.  They'll say "no" if they
don't need help.

People always insist on opening the door for me.  This sounds weird, but
sometimes I have a psychological need to open the door myself, so I'll hang
out away from the door until they are gone and then I'll go in.  Like I said,
that sounds weird -- even to me -- but that's my little idiosyncrasy.  But,
95% of the time, I'll just let them hold the door open and I'm grateful for
their kindness.

Just the other day a man who held the door for me told me that once he did
that for another person in a wheelchair, and that person made him shut the
door so he could do it himself.  I want to raise the public consciousness
about people with disabilities, but that seems like a rude thing to do.  I
don't know.  I'm kind of proud of my wheelchair skills, so it's a little
deflating to have somebody assume I can't do something when I'm perfectly
capable.  But I don't want to turn around and hurt their feelings either.

I'm chatty today -- hope I said something useful...

Betty
Administrator 2 of 4.  I want to be Seven of Nine, but I'm told that slot has
been taken.




In a message dated 02/04/2000 6:18:13 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

<< I introduced myself on my last message.  I have another question.....one I
 hope isn't too stupid or ignorant.  If you read my other message you know
 that I have a 6 year old son with cp.

 Whenever I am out shopping or doing things without my kids, I'll often offer
 help to people who appear they might need it...