I think it's better to ask than any thing else.

On Fri, 4 Feb 2000, James Blackledge wrote:

> Hi all,
> I introduced myself on my last message.  I have another question.....one I
> hope isn't too stupid or ignorant.  If you read my other message you know
> that I have a 6 year old son with cp.
>
> Whenever I am out shopping or doing things without my kids, I'll often offer
> help to people who appear they might need it.  Elderly people pushing a full
> cart to their car and trying to unload it, other moms with too many kids
> along, people pushing a grocery cart down the road to the apt. complex
> because they don't have a car, and people with obvious physical
> difficulties.
>
> Well, today I was leaving a store, and in front of me was a guy who looked
> like he had cp (very lurching gait, left arm drawn way up). He was
> struggling pushing his cart out as he had a big sub sandwich in the other
> hand.  Also, we had a lot of wet, slushy snow last night, although the
> parking lot was mostly clear.  I noticed this guy first because of his gait,
> and kept on looking because he was awfully good looking.  (My marriage has
> died a long, slow, sad death recently, so I can definitely look!).  Anyways,
> I immediatlely thought to offer him some help to his car.  But, he stopped
> to eat his sandwich a bit (I guess cause it was hard to push and eat at the
> same time). I actually stopped for a minute, then decided that he might be
> offended if I offered to help.  It was clear he was perfectly capable of
> getting all his things to his car, it just would have been easier with some
> help, for sure.
>
> So......was I an idiot?  Should I have offered help?  I certainly would not
> have been offended if he said no thanks, but I didn't want to imply to him
> that he HAD to have help.  Does this make sense?  Are any adults on this
> list offended if offered help in a situation where they can do it, it just
> may take longer?  Like I said, he was awfully cute, too, although seemed a
> bit younger than me (sigh).  These days though, everyone seems a bit younger
> than me.............
>
> Thanks a bunch,
>
> Barb
>