The Sadness Of Suicide Isn't Death, It's life.


By Phil Scovell





     I picked up the phone when I realized who was calling.  He
called occasionally from the other side of the country.  We had
been friends for well for nearly a quarter century and once had
attended the same church.

     He didn't sound well, his voice was rough and weak, but I
asked how he was doing anyhow.  He replied that he wasn't doing so
well so I asked him what was wrong.  He informed me he was calling
me from a mental health facility because he had recently attempted
suicide.  He didn't have much time to talk but later we would talk
more.

     Before I could even ask any questions, he requested I pray
about something.  Of course, I said I would but he said he meant
something different.  I listened as he asked me to pray if God
wanted me to still be his friend.  I asked him why he was asking
me such a question.  It was because he was afraid I wouldn't want
to be his friend any longer because of what he had done.  When he
explained the nature of his prayer request, I told him I would not
pray about any such thing because we were friends before and we
were friends now and nothing would ever change between us
regardless of what had happened.

     Turning on the radio, I dialed up a local Christian stations. 
A man was teaching whom I have heard often and although I don't
agree with a few things he teaches, I respect his overall
ministry.

     He was teaching on where Christians go when they die.  He
believes, and this is at least one thing with which we would
disagree, that Christian sleep in Christ and don't go to Heaven
until the resurrection.  This is an old felonious doctrine that I
thought died out with the last apostle, whomever that was, but
apparently not, because this man still believes, without using the
terminology, in "soul sleep."  I do not believe in such a teaching
but I listened anyway.

     During the course of his teaching, he told the story about a
recent funeral he attended.  He said that a teenage boy, who lived
in his neighborhood, had committed suicide by killing himself with
a shotgun.  I thought he was rather cavalier, that is to say,
nonchalant, about the way he began his story of this young man's
life and sudden death.  I hoped the young man's family weren't
listening to the same radio program to which I was tuned.  Yes, I
understand the preacher was trying to be earthy, or another way of
saying it might be, he was trying to bring his teaching down to
earth, but there is no reason to become dumber than dirt in your
attempt.  I for one didn't appreciate his style but then what do I
know, I'm just a dumb preacher myself.  Anyhow, as I was saying,
he began telling this story simply to use the sermon preached at
the teenager's funeral as an example of what isn't true about
going to Heaven.  Let me explain what he was saying.

     The youth pastor, of the church the family apparently
attended, was speaking at the funeral.  The building was packed,
standing room only, according to the radio teacher, and mostly
with teenagers from the church and high school the boy attended. 
The radio teacher said there wasn't a dry eye in the place.  He,
on the other hand, disagreed with the youth pastor concerning what
Heaven was like and, when, Christians who die, go there.  This
was, as I have said, because he personally believes in soul sleep,
or what today we might call suspended animation, if you watch Star
Trek I mean, and that Christians sleep in Christ until the
resurrection of the dead at Christ's return.  He literally said,
Christian go no where when they die in this life but sleep in
Christ.  Yes, it's stupid but some people think, and believe, this
doctrinal interpretation of this issue and there isn't much of a
way of changing their mind so I won't even try.

     I eventually turned the radio off and sat for a moment
thinking, not so much about his teaching, but about the story he
used concerning the young man who had committed suicide and to
whose funeral he attended.  It bothered me.  I didn't know why yet
but it bothered me because something was wrong about the story.

     A couple of days passed, and the story came to mind several
times until I realized what was wrong.

     The radio minister said that following the funeral, he stood
and watched as all the teenage friends of this young man were
crying, hugging each other, and grieving over the loss of there
friend.  I've preached funerals, been to many more than I have
preached, including that of both my parents, and friends and
relatives who have passed away, so I understand the brief and the
sharp emotional pain we suffer at, not only a funeral, but the
loss of a loved one in the first place.  It was this part of the
story that disturbed me the most without realizing why until the
Holy Spirit revealed the truth to me.

     As I focused on the death of this young man, I recognized it
was clear, this young man had way more friends than he realized. 
I also thought, if he could come back and see all those who truly
loved him, and who were now weeping and grieving over the loss of
his friendship, he wouldn't have taken his own life.  Yet, as I
considered this, I realized, this still wasn't what bothered me. 
After all, I didn't know him personally, but I wish I had and here
is why.

     What disturbed me about this story was not the young man's
death but his life.  He left his life, for some reason, not
knowing he had hundreds of friends, young and old, and he died
without the personal knowledge, emotional confidence, or even with
the spiritual awareness, that he had a single person he could
trust with his deepest of feelings.  I wanted to cry then myself
because that indeed was the truth that should have been revealed
at the funeral.  In other words, where were all his friends when
he needed them the most.

     You cannot read the Bible from cover to cover without
recognizing how responsible we are for each other as brothers and
sisters in the body of Christ.  Yet, huge monstrous ministries
that broadcast live on radio and television networks around the
world, down to the smallest home based churches meeting in living
rooms or tiny rented storefront shopping malls, have forsaken the
most foundational teachings of God's Word concerning personal
responsibility for our brothers and sisters in the Lord.  The most
contact of personal relationship the average Christian has is when
they go to church and say, at the very least, "Good morning," to
those they pass heading down the aisle toward their favorite spot
where they have likely sat for decades.  We sometimes stick around
church for a few minutes to talk with, so called, "friends, but
otherwise, we have little contact.

     I ask again, where were all his friends, including the radio
preacher telling this story who claimed he lived, and I quote,
"Just down the street," from the boy who took his own life.  In my
opinion, those left will have to answer that question in that
young man's behalf some day.  In fact, the radio preacher,
implying he knew the young man and was "a neighbor," is going to
be first in line to explain to Jesus where he was when the young
man needed someone the most.

     In my case, I had to apologize to my friend who called from
the mental health facility.  I had to tell him that based upon
prior conversations with him, and from my personal prayer times, I
knew, once his elderly ill father, whom he had been caring for,
passed away, he would be having more serious problems.  I did not
have a direct phone to my friend because he preferred I not call
him at the home of his father's because he felt more comfortable
calling me instead.  Yet, I was still responsible because I am his
Christian brother, personal friend, and I knew he was facing a
difficult time in his life.  I won't make that same mistake again.

     How many of our own Christian brothers and sisters are
falling through the cracks because we aren't listening, are too
busy to spend time with the hurting, and too preoccupied with all
of our own problems to carry the burdens of others.  Yet, you say,
"I am one of the hurting.  I am suicidal.  I am afraid.  I have no
friends upon whom I can rely."  I, for one, have experienced that
spiritually crippling loneliness, so if you are one who has been
forgotten, or have been allowed by the church to fall through the
cracks, as it were, I'll do my best to be here for you and when I
can't?  I know someone, to whom I can introduce to you, who will
never leave you nor forsake you.  Yes, I know you can't even
believe that about Him right now but He can show you His spiritual
intimacy, of which He desires to share personally with you, that
is so far beyond anything you have ever dreamed, you'll find total
completeness in Him.


It Sounds Like God To Me.
www.SafePlaceFellowship.com