Phil,

You are loving. Please don't take that in the wrong way, either. 
<smile> You are an excellent listener, and I'm going to call you some 
time, just to talk.

I really liked that what you wrote.

Thanks for sharing.

Lovingly,

Pat Ferguson

At 09:28 PM 8/19/2008, you wrote:
>The Sadness Of Suicide Isn't Death, It's life.
>
>
>By Phil Scovell
>
>
>
>
>
>      I picked up the phone when I realized who was calling.  He
>called occasionally from the other side of the country.  We had
>been friends for well for nearly a quarter century and once had
>attended the same church.
>
>      He didn't sound well, his voice was rough and weak, but I
>asked how he was doing anyhow.  He replied that he wasn't doing so
>well so I asked him what was wrong.  He informed me he was calling
>me from a mental health facility because he had recently attempted
>suicide.  He didn't have much time to talk but later we would talk
>more.
>
>      Before I could even ask any questions, he requested I pray
>about something.  Of course, I said I would but he said he meant
>something different.  I listened as he asked me to pray if God
>wanted me to still be his friend.  I asked him why he was asking
>me such a question.  It was because he was afraid I wouldn't want
>to be his friend any longer because of what he had done.  When he
>explained the nature of his prayer request, I told him I would not
>pray about any such thing because we were friends before and we
>were friends now and nothing would ever change between us
>regardless of what had happened.
>
>      Turning on the radio, I dialed up a local Christian stations.
>A man was teaching whom I have heard often and although I don't
>agree with a few things he teaches, I respect his overall
>ministry.
>
>      He was teaching on where Christians go when they die.  He
>believes, and this is at least one thing with which we would
>disagree, that Christian sleep in Christ and don't go to Heaven
>until the resurrection.  This is an old felonious doctrine that I
>thought died out with the last apostle, whomever that was, but
>apparently not, because this man still believes, without using the
>terminology, in "soul sleep."  I do not believe in such a teaching
>but I listened anyway.
>
>      During the course of his teaching, he told the story about a
>recent funeral he attended.  He said that a teenage boy, who lived
>in his neighborhood, had committed suicide by killing himself with
>a shotgun.  I thought he was rather cavalier, that is to say,
>nonchalant, about the way he began his story of this young man's
>life and sudden death.  I hoped the young man's family weren't
>listening to the same radio program to which I was tuned.  Yes, I
>understand the preacher was trying to be earthy, or another way of
>saying it might be, he was trying to bring his teaching down to
>earth, but there is no reason to become dumber than dirt in your
>attempt.  I for one didn't appreciate his style but then what do I
>know, I'm just a dumb preacher myself.  Anyhow, as I was saying,
>he began telling this story simply to use the sermon preached at
>the teenager's funeral as an example of what isn't true about
>going to Heaven.  Let me explain what he was saying.
>
>      The youth pastor, of the church the family apparently
>attended, was speaking at the funeral.  The building was packed,
>standing room only, according to the radio teacher, and mostly
>with teenagers from the church and high school the boy attended.
>The radio teacher said there wasn't a dry eye in the place.  He,
>on the other hand, disagreed with the youth pastor concerning what
>Heaven was like and, when, Christians who die, go there.  This
>was, as I have said, because he personally believes in soul sleep,
>or what today we might call suspended animation, if you watch Star
>Trek I mean, and that Christians sleep in Christ until the
>resurrection of the dead at Christ's return.  He literally said,
>Christian go no where when they die in this life but sleep in
>Christ.  Yes, it's stupid but some people think, and believe, this
>doctrinal interpretation of this issue and there isn't much of a
>way of changing their mind so I won't even try.
>
>      I eventually turned the radio off and sat for a moment
>thinking, not so much about his teaching, but about the story he
>used concerning the young man who had committed suicide and to
>whose funeral he attended.  It bothered me.  I didn't know why yet
>but it bothered me because something was wrong about the story.
>
>      A couple of days passed, and the story came to mind several
>times until I realized what was wrong.
>
>      The radio minister said that following the funeral, he stood
>and watched as all the teenage friends of this young man were
>crying, hugging each other, and grieving over the loss of there
>friend.  I've preached funerals, been to many more than I have
>preached, including that of both my parents, and friends and
>relatives who have passed away, so I understand the brief and the
>sharp emotional pain we suffer at, not only a funeral, but the
>loss of a loved one in the first place.  It was this part of the
>story that disturbed me the most without realizing why until the
>Holy Spirit revealed the truth to me.
>
>      As I focused on the death of this young man, I recognized it
>was clear, this young man had way more friends than he realized.
>I also thought, if he could come back and see all those who truly
>loved him, and who were now weeping and grieving over the loss of
>his friendship, he wouldn't have taken his own life.  Yet, as I
>considered this, I realized, this still wasn't what bothered me.
>After all, I didn't know him personally, but I wish I had and here
>is why.
>
>      What disturbed me about this story was not the young man's
>death but his life.  He left his life, for some reason, not
>knowing he had hundreds of friends, young and old, and he died
>without the personal knowledge, emotional confidence, or even with
>the spiritual awareness, that he had a single person he could
>trust with his deepest of feelings.  I wanted to cry then myself
>because that indeed was the truth that should have been revealed
>at the funeral.  In other words, where were all his friends when
>he needed them the most.
>
>      You cannot read the Bible from cover to cover without
>recognizing how responsible we are for each other as brothers and
>sisters in the body of Christ.  Yet, huge monstrous ministries
>that broadcast live on radio and television networks around the
>world, down to the smallest home based churches meeting in living
>rooms or tiny rented storefront shopping malls, have forsaken the
>most foundational teachings of God's Word concerning personal
>responsibility for our brothers and sisters in the Lord.  The most
>contact of personal relationship the average Christian has is when
>they go to church and say, at the very least, "Good morning," to
>those they pass heading down the aisle toward their favorite spot
>where they have likely sat for decades.  We sometimes stick around
>church for a few minutes to talk with, so called, "friends, but
>otherwise, we have little contact.
>
>      I ask again, where were all his friends, including the radio
>preacher telling this story who claimed he lived, and I quote,
>"Just down the street," from the boy who took his own life.  In my
>opinion, those left will have to answer that question in that
>young man's behalf some day.  In fact, the radio preacher,
>implying he knew the young man and was "a neighbor," is going to
>be first in line to explain to Jesus where he was when the young
>man needed someone the most.
>
>      In my case, I had to apologize to my friend who called from
>the mental health facility.  I had to tell him that based upon
>prior conversations with him, and from my personal prayer times, I
>knew, once his elderly ill father, whom he had been caring for,
>passed away, he would be having more serious problems.  I did not
>have a direct phone to my friend because he preferred I not call
>him at the home of his father's because he felt more comfortable
>calling me instead.  Yet, I was still responsible because I am his
>Christian brother, personal friend, and I knew he was facing a
>difficult time in his life.  I won't make that same mistake again.
>
>      How many of our own Christian brothers and sisters are
>falling through the cracks because we aren't listening, are too
>busy to spend time with the hurting, and too preoccupied with all
>of our own problems to carry the burdens of others.  Yet, you say,
>"I am one of the hurting.  I am suicidal.  I am afraid.  I have no
>friends upon whom I can rely."  I, for one, have experienced that
>spiritually crippling loneliness, so if you are one who has been
>forgotten, or have been allowed by the church to fall through the
>cracks, as it were, I'll do my best to be here for you and when I
>can't?  I know someone, to whom I can introduce to you, who will
>never leave you nor forsake you.  Yes, I know you can't even
>believe that about Him right now but He can show you His spiritual
>intimacy, of which He desires to share personally with you, that
>is so far beyond anything you have ever dreamed, you'll find total
>completeness in Him.
>
>
>It Sounds Like God To Me.
>www.SafePlaceFellowship.com
>
>
>
>
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