Having everyone note the quality of your ass is a privilege that  
comes by departing after a stay of appropriate length and not  
burdening your parents with the chore of disposing of you and your  
toys.  Burying a child is a completely different experience.  It was  
once common, but for the last half century or so, no one is prepared  
for it.  If the funeral home managed to to reduce the burden on AJ's  
parents in anyway, the tackiness is excusable.  Bill is going to be  
dealing with this for a long time to come.  You can't ease his pain.   
You can only be Brian.  Its enough.

-jc

On Sep 27, 2006, at 11:04 PM, Brian Robinson wrote:

> Doll Houses of Mortality
>
>
> I have been in a serious funk for the past 4 days. My old boss,
>
> Jekyll Island Executive Director Bill Donohue's son, A.J., died  
> Saturday at the age of 18 after a 2 year battle with cancer. A.J.  
> faced his illness with courage and faith so my general sense of  
> weirdness is only partly a result of his passing. As a parent, I  
> can't even fathom the idea of burying a child. My father lost a 25  
> year old brother in an auto accident and my mother lost a 39 year  
> old brother as the result of a military plane crash, so this issue  
> is not new to members of the Clan Robinson.
>
> I find myself very angry at the commercialization of the "death  
> industry". $10,000 funerals, tacky fake
>
> victorian funeral homes, videos of the deceased, etc. give me  
> pause. In the old days the undertaker would fit you with a casket  
> (a plain pine box) embalm you, and take you back to your home for a  
> day of  visitation with friends and family. Men, usually cousins or  
> uncles, would "sit up with the dead" all night and the next day the  
> undertakers wagon/hearse would take you to the church for the  
> service. After the service you would then be toted  next door to  
> the church cemetery for burial. A process that was sweet, simple,  
> to the point, and very protestant.
>
> The concept of the "funeral home"... where did this come from? I  
> have never been in a funeral home that I would want to be caught  
> dead in. Floral print wall paper, taped recordings of "Danny Boy"  
> over the loudspeaker (for God's sake, I am not Irish or Catholic),  
> emotional videos (you can buy these as a
>
> memento) showing scenes from your life. Cheeze city. I understand  
> the need for a larger venue to accommodate guests, but good grief.  
> Last night everyone was piled into an adjacent room watching video  
> footage of a healthy, happy A.J., while his wasted earthly remains  
> were alone against the wall with no one as much as paying him two  
> seconds of attention. Unnerving for me...but I guess it is not  
> about me.
>
> Anyway, I am going to build my own coffin from heart pine. It is  
> going to be a plain rectangular box that can be used as a coffee  
> table until I need it. Just plop a piece of glass on top and add a  
> couple of books and coasters and no one will know the difference.  
> My body will be displayed at home for one evening and everyone will  
> get drunk (even the baptists) and tell stories about how I could be  
> such an ass but, by God,  I was a lovely ass. The next day, me and  
> my homemade coffin will be loaded into the back of a vintage pickup  
> (GM) along with my dogs and then proceed to the church for the  
> service. I would prefer a mule wagon a la
>
> MLK, Jr, but a pre 1970 truck will do if no wagon is available and  
> the distance makes mule travel problematic. Under no circumstance  
> am I to be loaded into a truck with a catalytic converter.
>
> In my coffin I will be wearing my
>
> kilt. I will also have the following... my masonic apron, a copy of  
> the KJV bible, a photo of my family, and a small square (not the  
> improper rectangular) confederate battle flag. A Scottish flag will  
> cover my pine box.
>
> At the church we will continue to proclaim what an ass I was in a  
> good way. We will then load my homemade box into the truck/wagon  
> for burial in a "real cemetery" that has headstones and monuments.  
> None of this flush with the ground bronze plaque crap that makes it  
> easy to mow over.  I want a Celtic Cross like the
>
> Oglethorpe memorial in Brunswick, GA. It will be engraved with my  
> name, birth and death dates. In Gaelic it will also be engraved  
> with  2 Timothy 4, " I have fought a good fight, I have finished my  
> course, I have kept the faith.
>
> At the cemetery my children will comment again on what an ass I  
> was, in a good way. As they lower me into the ground, a bag piper  
> will play Amazing Grace and then as the crowd disperses he will  
> play Scotland the Brave. Everyone will then proceed to my house  
> where they will proceed to get drunk (even the baptists) on Bass  
> Ale and Champagne. Bar B-Q, fried catfish, and collard greens will  
> be served. My Jewish friends are to be
>
> accommodated with an alternative non pork, non scaleless fish, non  
> fatback soaked veggie alternative.
>
>  Et in
>
> Arcadio ego.
>
>
> Brian Scott Robinson, MHP
> Professor
> Savannah College of Art and Design
> School of Building Arts
> Historic Preservation Department
> P.O. Box 3146
> Savannah, GA 31402
>
> 912 525 6940 office (Mon/Wed only)
> 912 262 1202 home (students emergency only)
> [log in to unmask]
>
>
>
> -- To terminate puerile preservation prattling among pals and the  
> uncoffee-ed, or to change your settings, go to: http:// 
> listserv.icors.org/archives/bullamanka-pinheads.html

--
To terminate puerile preservation prattling among pals and the
uncoffee-ed, or to change your settings, go to:
<http://listserv.icors.org/archives/bullamanka-pinheads.html>