Hello to all, my computer is finally fixed, but as I think that I might have
told you, I will be leaving on Saturday for my training to get a job at the
Red Cross.  I love this group, and don't want to be dropped. I hope that all
of you had a Merry Christmas, and are having a Happy New Year.  Hope to hear
from you all soon.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Vicki and The Rors" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, December 25, 2004 8:03 PM
Subject: Re: The New Church


> Maybe you could put a few cariokeys in too for the benefit of those who
> feel
> it necessary to perform.
>
> Vicki
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Saturday, December 25, 2004 12:48 PM
> Subject: The New Church
>
>
>> After watching pro sports for much of my life fill stadiums with 50 to 80
>> thousand fans and charging any where from 30 to 100 dollars each, and
>> sometimes more, I am going to start a new church.  It will function much
>> like a sports bar with huge TV screens scattered throughout the warehouse
>> sized buildings.  On each screen will be a different television preacher
>> doing his best to convince you that his message is true and soliciting
> your
>> offering.  Each TV star will have his own personal cheer leading team of
>> half dressed young women attempting to attract people to his message.  In
>> some cases, of course, it will be a woman preaching on the TV so there
>> can
>> be male cheer leaders then, too, if she wants.  There will be free
> alcoholic
>> drinks and lots of free food as well.  Such warehouse new age churches
> will
>> mushroom in popularity over night.  Waiters and waitresses will be
> mingling
>> throughout the crowd making certain everybody is happy.  Special people
>> dressed in white clothing will circulate through the vast crowds of
>> people
>> with offering plates.  Once people are high, or well lubricated, they
>> will
>> be happy to turn their pockets inside out for Jesus.  We will have puppet
>> shows for the kids going on in all four corners of the huge building and
>> a
>> couple of mass Choirs singing all the popular songs of the day and at
> either
>> end of the long building.  The new age Church warehouse buildings will be
> so
>> long, either choir won't be able to be heard by either group as they
>> sing.
>> The new age Church will be opened from Friday night till midnight on
> Sunday
>> night so the church goers will be a never ending group of worshippers
> coming
>> and going all weekend.  This will make it convenient for the Lord when
>> ministering to people.  You see, Jesus won't have to be stuck trying to
> get
>> through to people during a couple of hours just on Sunday mornings.
>> There
>> will be valet parking all over the area including shuttle bussing from
>> multiple locations as much as 10 miles from the church building.  Clowns
> and
>> jugglers and fire eaters and others dressed in animal suits will also
> mingle
>> among the crowds offering one on one entertainment.  The weekend theme
> will
>> always be, Joy to the world.  It is time the church stop nickel and
>> diming
>> the poor and go after the big money and this new age Church will
> accomplish
>> all of that and more.
>>
>> Phil.
>>