Kathy,
I'm first glad you are not offended at my comments. I do not wish to appear
to come across as a bully type of a father. I've not had to lay any sort
of hand to my kids for ages so I don't want you to think I'm operating a
dictatorship via a tyrant *smile*. In fact I've always opted for a talk and
explaination first and even sometimes even when I should have implemented a
discipline of some sort. Yes we are raising adults and I understand your
point but Chris is not yet an adult. And yes if an adult were to lay fist
to chin to my wife, Christian or not, they'd likely find themselves in a
place we'd both rather not be. I guess I have a different understanding of
how Scripture reads in discipline of children, as well I am not living
under the direct situation as you so perhaps what I'm saying would be
changed. It all really goes back to God's principle of life. If you do not
come to him, you pay the price, if you come to him he forgives and in both
situations he loves, if you do not have a means of punishment to make you
see the principle how then do we get off our own path. Why did we come to
him? Because initially we had fear of eternal punishment. Ages and ages ago
God said choose life or choose death, choose blessing or cursing. He gave
us a hint even, choose life. If we, as his children did not comply with his
word, we suffered the consequences, if that was not the case, his word
would be worthless. If not for an element of fear we'd do as we felt and be
a "good-time charlie", Chris has no fear of his parents, no fear of
punishment, no fear now of police because they are on his side or neutral
from his viewpoint. He will continue to do as he pleases until he realizes
there is a punishment larger than his willingness to bare. Perhaps it is
beyond a parent being instrumental in making him see that for whatever
reason. I pray God's intervention in this situation, and to break Chris.
David said a broken and contrite heart. Many folks come to God from that
brokenness, Chris is a trooper and has much tolerance. Very stubborn boy.
However turned in the right direction and you've got a powerhouse of a man.
I pray a turning around as Gretchen experienced.
Brad
Kathy Du Bois wrote:
>Brad,
>AS you said, we are raising adults. I agree. How many of the adults
>that you disagree with do you take out physically. Chris needs to learn
>that there are more ways of dealing with frustration than just the
>physical one that is so easily at hand. He needs to learn to use his
>words and accept life when it doesn't go his way. Children duke it out.
>Adults need to learn to handle things differently. How can we tell him
>this with words and then deck him because he is being disrespectful? .
>Sure, we'd both like to thrash him. When he was a child, we did use
>physical discipline and I don't appologize for it, but chris is a little
>old to put over our knee. In fact, I think that the fact that Greg won't
> get physical with him, angers Chris more than anything because Chris
>knows that Greg is demoninstrating self control. When Chris was younger,
>Chris could push Greg's hot button and Greg would eventually get physical
>and at least wrestle him into his place, but that just increased the
>physical confrontations and words got lost in what was accomplished by
>the physical. When I was a child I thought like a child, I reasoned like
>a child, but now that I'm grown, I've laid such childish ways aside.
>Chris needs to learn to lay his childish ways aside and enter into the
>adult world on its terms, not his.
> Don't worry, what you say doesn't upset me. I appreciate the
>feedback. I'm more frustrated than anybody on this list because I'm
>living this hell. I came to you guys for prayer and advice and that's
>what I'm getting. Don't stop! If you did, I'd feel ignored!
>Kathy
>
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Brad
Strive to be insulated, not insulated
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