Cowards are people who are afraid of something.  They normally run from it,
drink their way away from it, drug it to submission, or even bully their way
into an artificial feeling of safety or even superiority.  They may do
anything to supress the thing they fear the most.  Job said it best when he
said, The thing I feared the most has come upon me.  I did drugs when I was
16 and 17 to gain friends, I always said, but now, looking back, I know it
was to go beyond acceptance of others.  I had to kill the pain I was afraid
would overtake me.  Some of my fear was related to who I was and what I
might become.  Some of the fear began coming out as a 36 year old adult when
I felt as if catastrophe had come to my life.  The fear which began in
childhood as a foothold, roared into full bloom as a stronghold when I
turned 50 and tried to crush the life out of me.  I was in a meeting of
therapists the other day, I was about the only one there who isn't a
therapist, and a 50 year old man from Texas who is pastoring a church on the
western slopes of Colorado, honestly shared his fears in his life.  I felt
led to responde to his comments because I felt the truth in my spirit.  I
told him what he believed about himself was a lie.  This he already knew but
in this case no news isn't always good news.  I also told him, God as my
witness, he was going to be healed of his fears.  Who gave me the right to
tell him that?  I'm not a therpist, a doctor, a chiropractor, and I lost my
ordaination paper years ago so I don't think I'm that either.  The Holy
Spirit told me the truth and gave me the permission to repeat what I heard.
The pastor said, Well, then, the Lord better hurry up and show me because
I'm 50 years old.  I said, join the club, brother.  I was 50 when He began
teaching me His truth so you are in the right place.  The Enemy always looks
for the weakness we have and exploits them by plugging in a lie here and
there.  Once he creates enough circumstantial evidence against you to
confirm the lie is truth based upon the painful emotions you feel, the
stronghold is complete and you are paralyzed by just the thought of
something.  It does not even have to occur for you to freeze up like a
Nebraska winter.  Again, Job said, The thing I feared has come upon me.
Where do we go from here?  Don't ask me.  My kids are all grown and we still
have conflicts.  I know what Brad said is true, though.  Fight fire with
fire.  Turn up the heat until it burns.  Sure, all hell will break loose
when you responde in kind.  You know what, Kathy?  That's going to happen
anyway and you won't be able to stop it then either.  So get a jump on this
thing.  Get yourself a nice wooden baseball bat.  Get a big wide black belt
with a nice wide holster so you can jam your baseball bat down into the
holster.  Don't say why you are doing this for a few days.  When Chris
becomes threatening, whip your bat out and walk over to the kitchen or
dinning room chairs you paid 300 dollars a piece for, and beat the ever
living crap out of it until the biggest piece left is two inches long.
Then, while you are huffing and puffing and fighting for air, say to Chris,
my bat is for taking out my frustrations.  I've decided, since the state
won't let me beat or whip or spank you, I am going to begin breaking things.
I started with something important to me.  From now on, buddy boy, when you
get on my nerves, it is going to be your things I smash and I am going to
laugh the whole time I am doing it, too.  You best stay out of my way,
buster brown, because if you try and scare me again like you did the other
day, I might just start swinging until I connect.  If that's your body, then
so be it.  I hope you land safely but as for me and my house, we are going
to serve the Lord.  So Chris says, I'll put you in jail if you hit me old
blind woman.  And you say, Go right ahead, sonny and when I get out, I'm
coming home and you are going to be the first person I come to see because
next time I go to jail, you are going to the hospital.

Now, of course, this was a humorous suggestion.  Or was it?  I would never
suggest anybody hit a teenager.  I had to clear my throat so that's why I
stopped typing for a moment there.  Go to jail for my children?  Hells
bells, man.  I'd die for my children.  Jail is nothing.  The thing I feared
the most has come upon me.  Turn up the heat and burn the devil down and God
bless you as you do it, too.  If you need help, call Brad.

Phil.