Rhonda,

I know you made the right call there. First off, and you and others may
disagree, but 15 is too young to be making decisions on meeting boys.
Hormones rage and what are we to expect if we dangle puppy love, lust and
etc. in front of them as parents. Anyway besides that, I agree with your
also not allowing her to drive alone. Besides it not being illegal more
than likely, and it is a bit different to drive you to see Ben, although
still illegal more than likely, let alone the risk in if she were to break
down alone on the highway, too many creeps out there that take advantage of
such, and it is just not good idea. Let alone she is 15 and perhaps looks
it and a cop may well decide to stop for whatever reason and she'd not get
any license for a while. She obviously doesn't see the benefit for Ben to
have you at the hospital for company and etc. which is easy to do in  our
situation. Now as for your question on driving. We are fortunate to have a
car and a mini-van, both older but hey they work. The agreement with our
kids once they got their license was the van was first my vehicle and for
my use, and for driving me where I needed at times, I'd pay for insurance
and license and gas when it was my use, and they could have use of it
anytime as long as they put gas in it. It seemed fair to me. As far as if
we had one car, which might well be the case before long according to our
mechanic, driving me to places I'd need is no different than helping to
clean the garage or whatever, and much easier I might add lol, so it is a
chore for which allowance was given before they both got jobs, and it part
of their contribution to their room and board and contributing to the
household. I'd not get into paying them for the driving. It is your car,
your insurance, your license, your gas and etc.

Also, there are too many creeps out there on the net too so in no way,
absolutely no way would I let any boy be met in such way. Even if he
was  OK, what about the next one she meets and the next one and so on, and
that also encourages relationships of abstract substance. We all have a
relationship here through email and phone at times, but it is proven and we
seek prayer and friendship, but boy meets girl on the net is much
different. If not too late, I'd encourage Christa to read "I Kissed Dating
Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. It helped my daughter a great deal and she is
nearly 19 and not dated as yet. She realizes that she is not ready to be
serious about doing anything about tit if she met mister right so no point
in shopping yet. My son not yet read it, but has a friend of girlish
persuasion lol, in Texas that he had some challenges with, but on his own
accord knew it wasn't right to get involved yet. They are still friends and
one day perhaps they may develop it into something, but they both know not
right now.

Short story of this book I wrote is, I agree with Ben and you, and I'd not
allow  such meeting of someone off the net, and discourage it tactfully to
not continue to chat with him if that is the aim he is looking for. I'd
also find out if she gave him your address or anything like that. There are
too many freaks posing as kids these days and preying on unsuspecting kids
for their petafilia and etc. Why chance it.

Brad

At 12/21/2003 on Sunday, Rhonda wrote:
>I have a question, or rather a situation I would like advice about.
>As y'all know Christa has been driving me to the hospital, to the
>grocery store, bank and to pay bills and run errands since her dad has
>been in the hospital.
>She  chats on the computer with friends, and has met some new ones.  One
>lives not far from here.  He, yes I said He wants to meet Christa, he is
>17 and she is 15.  He is about ten miles from here, about the same
>distance as the hospital. So, Christa wanted todrive to his house and
>meet him.  His parents are home she says and his brothers.  I said No,
>no way could she go and meet some strange boy as far as I knew.  That if
>she were ever to meet him, he would have to come here, or we would have
>to go with her to a mall or public place.
>She was angry with me, and said I only let her drive if it was something
>I wanted to do.
>Today she didn't want to stay at the hospital so she left me there and
>came back a couple of hours later.  We are abouteight miles from the
>hospital.  So I said that she and I would just stay together, and she
>wouldn't have to drive by herself anymore.
>
>I realize that being a parent isn't always popular, and so since I was
>not letting her do as she pleased, she was angry.  I guess I just resent
>her implication of "since I have been doing this for you, you
>should....."
>Not actually spoken, but the feeling was there.
>I called Ben and he told her the same thing.
>So, she hasn't spoken to me all night, well, this too shall pass,
>but my question is how do you guys handle having a teen driver take you
>places?  Do you pay them as though it were a job, or is it just
>something they do occasionally.
>Just curious as to what y'all think of this.
>
>Christa is usually pretty agreeable, but sometimes she can be down right
>difficult, but that comes I think with being a teenager.
>
>Thanks for your ideas!
>
>Rhonda