Hi Mary,

 >I can keep the youngest paleo, with no support,  but the older two get
 >sabotaged

You could have them tested for celiac disease and then warn your husband
that the kids will get cancer if they do not comply to the diet.
Celiac testing is not 100% so even if the test is negative, the fact that
you have so many symptoms is enough reason that your children be on a gf
diet. My children are all gf because of their celiac symptoms: nose bleeds,
spontaneous bruising-purpura, acne, lazy eye, failure to thrive, short,
long eyelashes, rashes, 'growing pains'... Moreover their granny and I have
celiac disease.

All the best,
Susan