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I received a lot of interesting answers to this question and found them to
be of a lot of help, so I thought I"d send em along. -vance

I've learned to do two things  -- either stay out of the kitchen and just
eat a salad, like in a restaurant  ... or, plop myself in the middle of the
kitchen and read labels and "help"  ....
I had a gnarly experience with a well-meaning friend that made
"home made" rice and beans  -- actually came from a Goya mix,
that has a bunch of bad stuff in it, and the 2-hour ride home was
miserable.

If it is a good friend I will ask what they plan to serve and decide if there
will be things that I can safely eat such as baked potatoes and steamed
vegetables and then plan from there. However, I find it easy to keep a few
butter containers of rice casseroles, serving portions of lasagna, or similar
foods in the freezer.  When invited to a friend's I take one along to heat in
their microwave.  I then add whatever is GF from their menu.  Usually I can
put a serving of salad aside before they add their croutons or dressing and
they often will have vanilla ice cream that I can substitute for the dessert.
I take my own muffin and dressing and enjoy the company. I find this easier on
my friends and safer for me.  Dinty Moores Beef Stew micro cups can be carried
when traveling for emergency use.

I solve the problem (where I can) with lots of communication, and often by
volunteering to help cook the meal!  For instance, a friend wants to have my
family over for his special salmon pie.  I explained to him my food issues,
and (like your friend) he's looking forward to the challenge.  I am
providing a GF pie crust mix, and have offered to come over early and help
him out in the kitchen -- I explained that many people will not even realize
how many of the ingredients they've always just tossed in their favorite
recipes may contain wheat, and that (while I do trust him) this is such a
serious issue for me that I'd feel much better if I could be involved in the
preparation.

I usually have to bring my own entree and HOPE I can supplement with salad and
vegetables. This is what I am doing tonight; I bought a George Foreman little
indoor grill and it is wonderful for just popping a chicken breast or a small
steak on it. Then I take the meat and a baked potato with me; if I don't think
there will be a safe salad, I take that too, and always a little bottle of
salad dressing. Many times it is not worth all this hassle and I have ended up
not going to the dinner or party, which is a shame and a personal preference.
Sometimes it is just too difficult to watch others eat all the fabulous food
while you eat your plain-jane boring dinner!!!!

If I have to attend an event and eat first and just enjoy the conversation
that's okay.  But if I have the opportunity to control the situation I do.
Of course, going so in a positive, gracious manner is always important.  We
are invited out to dinner all the time and most of the time we do go
especially if they are friends who know my situation.  They usually call
ahead, tell me what's on the menu and ask questions regarding ingredients.
IF there are a few items that are difficult to find or are health food items,
I offer to provide them for the replacement of the gluten containing items.
IF there is a dish that would be very difficult to alter, I offer to provide
an alternative dish or bring an extra dish.  If these are people who we do
not know well, we usually explain the situation and suggest we eat out or
have them over to our house.

We call ahead and find out what's on the menu.  Then I bring substitutes for
whatever my husband cannot eat (sometimes the whole meal!)  After a while,
friends catch on, and start to call in advance to ask if he can eat this dish
or that recipe.  If the awswer is no, either they will make a change, or I
might bring them the necessary ingredients to make the dish GF.  It takes a
few years for people to really get it.
Connie in NC

I tell them we love baked or grilled chicken, white rice, and plain
vegetables, (anyone should be able to fix this) and then give them my phone
number to call me if they want to add anything else.  I tell them not to try
anything fancy because they can't tell by reading labels if it's gluten free.
I have had great success and people don't feel like they're lost or scared to
cook for me.  I tell them I'll bring the ice-cream (Breyers).  No one feels
threatened and we enjoy a gluten free meal with good company.  Granted, it's
not fancy, but it's stress free every time.
        Linda in Pensacola, FL  USA

I always call first to see what they are serving.  I explain that I really
don't want to appear as the circus freak and that I might be able to bring
something that looks like what everyone else is eating in case the entree
cannot be fixed without the offending ingredients.  Usually I can have a
plain piece of meat, but occasionally the hostess is serving pasta as a
main entree, so I take my own, eat their salad and request Dreyer's ice
cream if the dessert is not GF adaptable and I cannot make my own.  Often I
will volunteer to bring a GF dessert for everyone and that usually meets
with a delighted response.  I do caution about my plain meat touching
sauced meat and ask to make sure they don't use seasoned salts or soy sauce
on my meat.
They don't really want to hurt me and all my friends are helpful in varying
degrees.  I always explain that I'm not so much coming to dinner to fill up
on food as I am to socialize with my friends so don't worry about my
getting enough to eat as this is the way I truly feel.
Vicki

Regarding what folks do about dinner at friends... my husband Miles (who was
diagnosed 5 months ago) and I haven't had too much of a problem.  Our friends
are very willing to substitute.  We try to find out what they're making ahead
of time and suggest substitutions that they may not be aware of.  For example,
gf soy sauce, vinegar, cornstarch for thickening, gf flour, etc.  Sometimes
we'll drop off the ingredients ahead of time, so they don't have to go out
looking for things.  We also have a monthly dinner club, making international
meals (a different country or region every month) and so far that hasn't been
a problem either.  Don't give up.
Bari

When I am invited out to dinner I usually offer to bring a side dish and
a dessert--that way I know at least there will be something I can eat!
Elizabeth