I found this transcript at http://abcnews.go.com/onair/nightline/NightlineIndex.html Ellen's Insights Nightline Thursday, August 5, 1999 (This is an unedited, uncorrected transcript.) TED KOPPEL It'll be a year on Saturday, two bombs only minutes apart, one at the US embassy in Tanzania, the other at the US embassy in Nairobi, Kenya. That was the truly devastating one, 213 people killed, close to 5,000 injured. Most of the dead and injured were Kenyans. Nearly 200 of them lost their sight. Half of those recovered. Eighty remained visually impaired. Twenty will never see again. That's what we tend to forget sometimes. For most of us, it's simply the anniversary of a disaster, my God, has it been a year already and then back to our lives again. But there are literally thousands of people whose physical and psychological lives will never be the same again and many thousands more in their immediate families, all of them trying to cope. Life changed in one blinding explosion for an American woman by the name of Ellen Bomer. She actually worked for the Commerce Department but was on temporary assignment to the embassy in Nairobi. She was in her ground floor office at the embassy when the truck bomb went off. She was knocked unconscious, trapped under heavy debris and didn't regain consciousness until four hours later. ELLEN BOMER The bombing is something that I've never seen. I've never seen the aftermath. I can only imagine based on other's descriptions. 1ST EYEWITNESS The bomb blast got the back end of the embassy, I believe. 2ND EYEWITNESS It is the worst thing I've ever seen. DON BOMER I was at home in Jeda, Saudi Arabia (ph) and somewhere between 11 and 12 in the morning on the 7th of August 1998 I received a phone call, excuse me. A friend called and said there had been a bombing in Nairobi near the embassy. My wife was on temporary duty at the embassy. For 10 hours, I didn't know that she was even injured. ELLEN BOMER When I came to underneath the building and under the debris, you know, I was on my back like a turtle and I couldn't move. I knew it was a bomb but I thought that it had happened really quickly and it wasn't until many, many months later that I learned that the bomb was about 10 or 10:30, I think, and they didn't dig me out until about 2:30 in the afternoon. And then I remember thinking I'm just pinned under this wreckage, you know? I'm just under this debris, but I'm OK. And then I thought no, I can't see. I can't open my eyes. You know, I immediately had that quick oh my God, I'm blind. And then I remember thinking dear God, please don't let me be totally blind. And then I started bargaining. I started thinking OK, God, just let me have one eye. You know, if I could just have one eye, you could have the other one. Just give me one. I'm glad I'm alive but could I have one eye? And my anxiety level was building and then I remember thinking OK, Ellen, got to stay calm. If you want to get out of this you have to stay calm. You have to let people know you're here. And so then I started waving my right hand and I remember I was saying I'm over here, please, I'm over here. And it seemed like almost instantly that I could feel people pulling things off me. I couldn't see `em, but I could feel it. I couldn't hear very well but they got me out. Then I remember they put me on a stretcher. DON BOMER She looked like she had been shot in the face with gravel from a shotgun and I just about passed out. ELLEN BOMER I, I remember, at one point I don't even know where it was but at one time I was laying on the stretcher and all of a sudden it just, every, the room just kept getting brighter and brighter and all of a sudden I just started feeling very relaxed and comfortable and not afraid. And I looked over to my left and my son was standing there. Well, my son is deceased and he was killed in 1987. And he was standing there and he had on a white robe and he had his hands outstretched and I remember looking at him and thinking oh gosh, John, you're here so this must mean that I'm going to die. And I remember I stretched out my hand and just as I was putting my hand in my son's hand, I mean I was probably, oh, I don't know, six or seven inches away, I got sucked back. And it was the strangest thing. At the instant that happened I thought no, I don't want to go. I don't want to go back. But then it was like oh, OK. So John is in heaven. Oh, OK, that's great. And it was like OK, Ellen, it's not your time to come. So you have to go back and you just have to lay there and let them make you well. I told my husband, I said well it's OK, I'm not going to die. It's OK, I'm not going to die. And so the inner peace that I gained from that experience in Nairobi really is what has sustained me. And it hasn't always been easy. I mean it was very difficult going through all the exams and all the surgeries at Walter Reed and there were some times when I really felt pretty blue but I always knew that I'm not going to die and I guess if you know that fundamental thing and you know that no matter what happens, no matter how painful it is or how much you want to cry about things because you're afraid and you're confused, it's OK because, you know, this is something you have to go through. And hopefully it'll be, it'll be better for the people who see you. TED KOPPEL In a moment, Ellen Bomer finds the tools and a mentor to begin to reclaim her independence. (Commercial Break) ELLEN BOMER I was grieving for the fact that as a blind person, you know, if I was blind I wouldn't be able to do anything anymore. I wouldn't be able to see the sky, I wouldn't be able to work, I wouldn't see my husband, I wouldn't see my grandson. I was really scared and I would go to bed at night crying and Don would be crying and it was really very traumatic for both of us. And so somewhere toward the end of October it became evident to both of us that we were going to have to find some support group. Here's the nose. Big nose! DON BOMER Yeah, it sure is. ELLEN BOMER Dr Schneider and Linda Schneider came into my life and my husband's life. HAROLD SCHNEIDER Well, that's the better part of the body here to emphasizing some others I can think of. ELLEN BOMER We were just very impressed with him and Linda and they were both such caring people and positive people. And it was like wow, you know, he's blind, Linda's sighted and Don is sighted so it was like this is the family we need, you know? This will give us the nurturing and the support that we need to get through this. HAROLD SCHNEIDER I thought when I first talked to you on the phone in October that you sounded like a scared child wandering the wilderness and that you were sort of bamboozled about what you ought to do. I mean ... ELLEN BOMER That's exactly how I felt. That's exactly how I felt. And if you'd have come without that cell phone, I mean I was just so mesmerized and here's somebody who's blind can dial these numbers. And it was like yes! I can do this! HAROLD SCHNEIDER I've been blind since birth but that hasn't stopped me from being a husband, a father and effective in all other parts of my life. I mean Braille, that's what it's used for. Along with my career, I've been a volunteer mentor for many people who've lost their vision, including Ellen Bomer. It wasn't just the attitudes about blindness you had to learn, it's the, you know, the basic skills to function as a normal everyday human being. ELLEN BOMER Oh, man, it's hard. HAROLD SCHNEIDER I suggested that Ellen go to the Louisiana Center for the Blind to begin her rehabilitation. UNIDENTIFIED TEACHER Things that irritate you, Braille, don't say that. ELLEN BOMER No, I like Braille. B-A something E-A. UNIDENTIFIED TEACHER Uh-huh. What's your last letter? ELLEN BOMER Braille is a hands on way of reading. So while I can memorize the code, until I have the brain to finger connection, it's very difficult. But I've got to persevere and make it happen because I am not going to go from an educated person to an illiterate. Earl Street. UNIDENTIFIED TEACHER Yes. ELLEN BOMER When I was first told about Louisiana Center for the Blind one of the things I was told was that I would be asked to wear sleep shades. And I thought, you know, when I first heard this my thought was how can they take away the little vision that I have? I mean that must be absolutely horrid, horrid. It wasn't so much the fact of the sleep shades as it was the fact that I really was blind and that I had to really come face to face with that. But, you know, it's a lot easier to pay attention with sleep shades on than it is without `em because that little bit of vision that you have you use. I can't because I've got a lot of shrapnel in my body. I guess I'm kind of like that ship, it's slowly being turned and with each turn and each directional change I'm getting stronger and stronger and stronger and I'll be back. It may take me a few more months, but I'll be back. TED KOPPEL Ellen Bomer is here in Washington for a State Department ceremony on Saturday marking the one year anniversary of the embassy bombings in Kenya and Tanzania. I'll be talking with her and with the man she calls her mentor, Harold Schneider, in a moment. (Commercial Break) TED KOPPEL Our story this evening and the one we'll be bringing you tomorrow night were produced by Ralph Barrens (ph) and a young photographer, David Snyder, (ph) who has spent much of the past decade documenting the blind. He draws his interest in the subject from his own life experience. Both of his parents are blind. His father, whom you've already met, Harold Schneider, a consultant to the National Federation of the Blind, joins me now as does Ellen Bomer, one of the survivors of last year's embassy bombing in Nairobi. Tell me the difference between the two of you, Ellen, if you can. This may be a better question for Dr Schneider. You're both blind but with you it's a recent experience, for him it's been a lifetime experience. ELLEN BOMER I feel like a baby who's learning to walk. I'm learning to crawl first. TED KOPPEL How far along are you? ELLEN BOMER Oh, I guess I'm probably about nine months. TED KOPPEL I mean as we see you doing these things, and we'll see a lot more of it tomorrow, but as we see you doing them, I wonder, for example, how well do you do with the Braille? Can you read a Braille newspaper yet? ELLEN BOMER No, sir, I can't. But I can read my name and I can write. I could probably write you a letter in Braille. My instructor would be pleased with that. TED KOPPEL I couldn't read it. ELLEN BOMER Oh, well, I probably couldn't either. That's the problem. I can write it but I can't read it. But I'm learning and I will conquer it. TED KOPPEL Boy, I'll bet you will. I mean if there is one thing that is quite clear, Dr Schneider, it is that this is one remarkably determined woman you've got under your care. HAROLD SCHNEIDER Absolutely. She's probably the bravest person that I've ever met in my life. TED KOPPEL Why do you say that? HAROLD SCHNEIDER Well, I've mentored blind people as part of my work with the National Federation of the Blind for more than 30 years. I started with Vietnam War vets in the '60s when I was in college and then have mentored people since then and Ellen has faced her blindness more bravely and more defiantly than most other people that I've ever met. And she has done it basically to a certain extent with my help and the help of the National Federation of the Blind and our members. And that, but she is, she meets us halfway. That is, she wants to do it. She wants to be all the way back and that's the difference. TED KOPPEL Let me focus for a moment on a couple of words that you have used, and Ellen, I want to ask you about them? ELLEN BOMER OK. TED KOPPEL He spoke a moment ago about your defiance, coming at this in a defiant way. What's he talking about? ELLEN BOMER I am not going to be beaten. I, the bombing took away my vision but it didn't take away me. I'm still here and I'm still alive and I'm an American and I'm proud to be an American. That isn't going to change. TED KOPPEL And it requires sort of a certain damn it, I'm not going to let this get me down, doesn't it? ELLEN BOMER Yes, it does. TED KOPPEL I mean you can't, you can't spend too much time feeling sorry for yourself? ELLEN BOMER No, because I'm alive and I'm not going to die. So I have to, I have to be true to whatever it is I'm supposed to do and I figure if I'm open enough and I maintain a survivor mentality that some day this bright light's going to go on and I'm going to know what it is I'm supposed to do. TED KOPPEL Sighted people tend to be a little uncomfortable around blind people, Dr Schneider, don't they, because they're not quite sure how sympathetic they need to be, how helpful they need to be. HAROLD SCHNEIDER That's right. The real problem with Ellen's blindness was not her blindness. She'd never encountered a blind person before. She had all the negative attitudes about blindness that pervade the sighted public. I mean, they just have no expectations of blind people. They don't consider blind people whole complete human beings and the training center that Ellen is attending at the Louisiana Center for the Blind tries to teach the students there that yes, we are whole, complete human beings. The National Federation of the Blind tries to do that in its conventions. People come there scared out of their mind and they leave there feeling whole and complete because they went to a convention by themselves and they could get around and go to the meetings and it gave them self-confidence. And that's part of what it's about. You have to change the attitudes both of the blind person themselves and the sighted public. TED KOPPEL Do you remember, Ellen, your attitudes toward the blind before you became blind yourself? In other words, do you still have one foot in, at least in your memory bank, one foot in each camp? ELLEN BOMER Yes, I do and that's part of it. I, it's difficult to know what's expected of you because I don't, I didn't know anyone that was blind and if you don't know anyone, all you know is what you, the stereotypes are, what you see in movies, what you read in books. I couldn't tell you, maybe in my whole life I've seen five people blind and they had dogs and they didn't seem to be too hip about what they were doing. I mean I don't know, I didn't know them personally. But it was like my eyes are gone now, now I don't have anything. I can't do this, I can't do that and Harold just walking into that hotel room at the Malone House (ph) saying yes you can, yes you can, you know, Joanne Wilson (ph) called me from the Center in Louisiana and she asked me, she said well, what is it you want to do that you can't do now? And I said well, I want to crochet, I want to knit. She said oh, you can do that. I said how can I do that? I can't see. She said you don't have to see. And it's just part of my rehab, I guess, is learning to know or knowing, I mean intellectually I comprehend but knowing it and making it part of me because I was sighted for 52 years. You know, when we talk about Braille, when you tell me to write the word read I think in cursive, R-E-A-D, you know? I don't think in Braille. And so it's just, like I say, I'm learning to crawl and then I'll be walking soon, I hope. TED KOPPEL Dr Schneider, we're almost done for tonight. I want you to give our audience a sense of what we're going to be looking at tomorrow, which really is the education of Ellen Bomer, in some respects, right? Or the reeducation of Ellen Bomer. In a couple of lines sort of summarize what you knew she would have to go through and what you know she's still going to have to go through. HAROLD SCHNEIDER Ellen has to go through an intensive training course to learn how to be blind and to learn the skills of blindness. TED KOPPEL And as to what still lies ahead of her? HAROLD SCHNEIDER Ellen is probably about a third of the way through her rehabilitation. She's got two thirds to go in my opinion. That may or may not be what other people think, but that's what I think. And I think, I have every confidence that Ellen will come through that and graduate from the Louisiana Center for the Blind with flying colors. She was a literate person when she was sighted. She loves to write both on a computer and she will, she'll write in Braille and I know that she has a book in the works and I'm sure it'll be a fascinating one. TED KOPPEL I'm sure it will and I thank you Dr Schneider and Ellen Bomer. We'll be talking to you again tomorrow, so I very much appreciate your being here today. ELLEN BOMER Thank you. TED KOPPEL I look forward to talking with you for our program tomorrow. We'll preview part two of Ellen Bomer's story in just a moment. (Commercial Break) TED KOPPEL Tomorrow on Nightline, they say they don't want your pity, only your respect. We'll show you the annual convention of the National Federation of the Blind where Ellen Bomer was a featured speaker. ELLEN BOMER And I know that and so I'm here today and I will be a spokesperson, I will go anywhere I can go, do anything I can do, lend my support to make the rest of the world know that we are out there and we do know who we are. TED KOPPEL Part two of Ellen's Insights, the Nightline Friday night special, tomorrow. And that's our report for tonight. I'm Ted Koppel in Washington. For all of us here at ABCNEWS, good night. Search for more on: ______________________________ SEEK S U M M A R Y Nightline profiles Ellen Bomer who is struggling to live without sight after the Nairobi terrorist bombing blinded her one year ago. [LINK] VICUG-L is the Visually Impaired Computer User Group List. To join or leave the list, send a message to [log in to unmask] In the body of the message, simply type "subscribe vicug-l" or "unsubscribe vicug-l" without the quotations. 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