Hell explained
The following is an actual
question given on a University of Arizona
chemistry mid term, and an actual answer
turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound'
that the professor shared
it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course, why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well
:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote
proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands
and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the
following:
First, we need
to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know
the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they
are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we
can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are
leaving. As for how many souls are entering
Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world
today.
Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to
Hell. With birth and death rates as
they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are
added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a
slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the
temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
2. If Hell is
expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the
temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which
is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman
year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you,'
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then
number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic
and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is
that
since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting
any
more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only
Heaven,
thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why,
last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
> THIS
STUDENT RECEIVED AN
A+.